How does it feel?
by LadyRaider
Summary: When a man with a vendetta against Olivia gets out of jail and picks up where he left off, will Elliot be there to protect her when she needs him the most? EO. Epilogue is up
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I don't own Law & Order: SVU, or any of the original characters. The idea's mine though. There's that.  
  
**_Words in bold and italics: flashback._**  
  
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"Albertson got out today," Munch announced taking a sip of his coffee. Olivia immediately felt three pairs of eyes on her. She looked up from her paperwork.  
  
"What are you all looking at me for?" She demanded.  
  
Elliot was the only one to speak, "nothing." He looked back down at his desk and Munch and Fin followed suit, all Olivia could do was sigh. They hadn't needed to say anything, she knew why they had looked at her.  
  
_**"Drop your weapon!" Elliot yelled out, his own weapon aimed at the perp, Jacob Albertson. When Albertson didn't comply Elliot yelled it out again, louder.  
  
"I said, 'drop your weapon!'"  
  
With a sickening grin Albertson raised his gun at Elliot and his finger tightened the trigger.   
  
The deafening roar of gunfire filled the air and Olivia let her arm drop limp at her side, the gun that she held tightly in her head still smoking from being fired, her hand shaking. Elliot looked her way, then rushed over to check on Albertson. Olivia pulled herself out of the daze she was in and took out her cellular-phone and called for a ambulance. Then she too went to check to see how badly she had hurt Albertson.  
  
The skies opened and it began to pour as she crouched down next to Elliot. He looked up at her and shook his head, his eyes void of any emotion.  
  
"He's gone," he told her, his voice showing no sympathy for the loss of life, but for Olivia instead. He knew all to well that killing somebody--no matter what kind of person he or she may be--was not the easiest thing to deal with.  
  
The rain had picked up speed by the time that the ambulance arrived, by then Olivia and Elliot were soaked to the bone, shivering. They told the homicide detectives what had happened and Elliot offered to take Olivia home. She protested at first, telling him that he "should be home with your family," but he stopped her. "I'm taking you home," he told her, "weather you like it or not." She knew that nothing she could say would change his mind, so, she merely nodded her head. She followed him to his car and he drove her home.  
  
He followed her up, and Olivia invited him in for a pot of coffee. Once inside she changed out of her wet clothes and into pajama pants and a tank top. Elliot had had a bag of clothes in the trunk of his car so he retrieved them and changed as well. While he did so Olivia made the coffee.  
  
"Now we're never going to find the accomplice," she said as she handed him his cup. She took a sip from her own as she sat down on the sofa.  
  
"Yes we will," he said without hesitation, "don't worry about that."  
  
She shook her head, "I just killed our only link to the accomplice, Elliot."  
  
"You had no choice, Liv. If you hadn't I could be in his position."  
  
She sighed and shifted positions on the sofa, pulling her legs underneath her. "I know, El, trust me. But, the fact still remains, I shot our only way of catching the other guy."  
  
"Olivia, listen to me, we are gonna find him. Granted, it won't be a walk in the park, but if it was we'd be out of a job, eh? Regardless, we know for sure Albertson was the actual rapist. The other guy was--is--small potatoes, nothing more than an errand-boy. We got the big-fish, Albertson can't hurt any more women. That should count for something, don't ya think?"  
  
"There's that. But, what if the accomplice decides that it's up to him to fill in Albertson's shoes and starts raping, or killing even?"  
  
"Then we'll catch the son of a bitch, ok? Don't be so hard on yourself, Liv."  
  
"I'll try."  
  
They talked for a little while longer before Elliot went home, a little later on Olivia's phone rang, she was already in bed so she let the machine pick it up. It was Elliot, calling to tell her goodnight, and once again that they would catch Albertson's accomplice.   
**_  
The next day, early in the morning, Olivia's phone rang. When she answered nobody spoke. So, she hung up, cursing whoever came up with the brilliant idea of telemarketing. That happened more than once that morning, and for the next few days as well.   
  
A few days after the phone calls started she came home to find a dozen dead roses in front of her apartment door. No tag. The phone calls continued. Not a week after she found the roses she came home to find her apartment ransacked, 'murderer' written in red on her bedroom wall.  
  
Luckily, whoever broke in to her apartment wasn't very bright or a bad criminal, and a set of fingerprints were found by CSU. After running them through the system they were linked to a man, George Albertson. The late Jacob Albertson's younger brother. After they arrested him they found that he was his brothers accomplice.  
  
But, George had a bright attorney. Who immediately went for a deal. A reduced sentence for the bodies of the women that Jacob had raped, who hadn't been as lucky as the ones he let go. Alex was inclined to accept, so agreed. He only got 5 years, though that had been four years prior.  
  
Olivia finally broke the uncomfortable silence, "good behavior?" She inquired of Munch.  
  
He looked up and nodded to which Olivia replied with a grunt. Nobody spoke for the rest of the workday.  
  
As she was about to leave for home she was stopped by Elliot. He asked if she wanted to grab a bite to eat, but she knew it was just a way for him to look out for her, without being forthright. She wasn't exactly thrilled about it.  
  
"Elliot, I'm a grown woman. I can take care of myself. You don't need to baby-sit me, I'll be fine."  
  
"He got into your apartment once before, Liv, or have you forgotten about that--"  
  
"I remember."  
  
"--then, he threatened you at the trial. I just want to take every precaution, I don't want you to get hurt."  
  
She sighed, "I am fully capable of defending myself if need be. And, I've got my gun. If that'll make you feel any better."  
  
"Good try, but it doesn't. Who knows what he's capable of. He's been in jail for four years, no doubt he blames you. He's had plenty time to think of ways to get you back, avenge his brothers death. I don't think that you should be alone, at least not right now."  
  
"Elliot, you have a family to look after. You should be protecting them, not me."  
  
He fell silent for a moment before answering with a cracking voice, "what family? Kathy left me, took the kids with her to her mothers."  
  
"Oh, God, Elliot, I'm sorry. Do you know why she left?"  
  
"She said that she was tired of waiting up at night for a phone-call instead of for me. She was tired of me working all the time, and the fact that I spend more time with you, Munch, and Fin than with her and the kids. TO tell you the truth though, Liv, here lately it really didn't feel like a marriage. I think that putting the blame on my job was just an easy way out of the relationship for her. I wouldn't blame her if it was."  
  
"I'm sure it'll blow over, just give it some time."  
  
"I don't think so, not this time."  
  
She sighed, "although I don't like that you think I need protecting, I guess I should humor you, right? You'll be on my case otherwise. You can stay at my place if it's that important to you. I really don't want another protective detail. But, don't think that just because Albertson is out of jail you can take it upon yourself to be my protector. Like I said, 'I'm fully--"  
  
"Capable of taking care of yourself. Got it. But, that shouldn't mean I can't play hero to a damsel in distress, should it?"  
  
"Firstly, I am not a damsel, and secondly I am certainly not in distress. But, if you want to be superman, who am I to stop you? Just, don't parade around my apartment in tights."  
  
"Aw, no fair." He teased.  
  
"You gonna follow me home in your car, or were you planning on flying there?"  
  
"Well, I think I'd better drive. We don't want everybody knowing my alter-ego, do we?"  
  
"No, Clark, we don't."  
  
"Well, good. I'll be followin' you then."  
  
She nodded and made her way to her car, feeling Elliot's eyes following her. She knew his intentions were good, Albertson had every reason to want to get even, Elliot just wanted to make sure that didn't happen. But, it was still a bit patronizing, even coming from him.  
  
Then again, according to him Kathy had left, taking the kids with her. That could also have a factor in the whole ordeal. It could be that he wasn't used to being alone.   
  
She stopped at a redlight and glanced in the rearview mirror. Elliot was close behind her, that worried look still in his eyes, his lips pursed. As she sighed to herself the light turned green, she took off again.  
  
When she pulled into her regular parking spot Elliot found the one closest to her, which in itself was fairly far off. She took the keys out of the ignition and turned to open the door. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Elliot hovering just outside her window.  
  
He laughed at her and backed away from the car so she could get out. She opened the door glaring at him, wishing she could really shoot daggers with her glare. "Elliot," she said slowly, "what is the point of protecting me I'm dead of a heart-attack?!"  
  
He just kept laughing.  
  
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a/n: I know it's been awhile, but I'm back, I hope you liked this chapter. More to come. Let me know how I'm doing. I know I did the whole Kathy leaving thing before, but since I don't like her I don't want her in my story, so she's once again the bad guy. Anyway, go on already, review! The meaning of the title will come in later on, not sure how much later at this point, but, later nonetheless. 


	2. Chapter Two

How Does it Feel:   
  
Chapter Two  
  
Disclaimer: Same as in chapter one, not much changes, eh?   
  
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Only after Elliot did a thorough search of Olivia's apartment would he let her in. He said he was "taking every precaution", Olivia knew he was just trying to further her annoyance.  
  
It was working.  
  
"You checked under my bed for monsters, right? The closet too? They like to hang out there, talk a lot. Gossip mostly, it's very annoying. Keeps me up at night."  
  
"Ha, that's funny. Really," he said sarcastically.  
  
"Well, I try."  
  
She put on a pot of coffee and sat down on the couch motioning for Elliot to sit down too.   
  
"When did she leave?"  
  
"Last week."  
  
"How come you didn't tell me 'bout it?"  
  
"You've got your own problems to deal with, I didn't want to burden you with my screwed up life."  
  
"Have you talked with her about it?"  
  
"Once or twice, we always end up fighting. Her favorite excuse is my job, how it's so dangerous and she shouldn't have to live in fear of me getting hurt. But, like I said, I think she just wanted to take the easy way out. What better way than blaming work?"  
  
"What about the kids? How are they reacting?"  
  
"I talked with Kathleen, she hates it at her grandmothers. Liz and Dickey too, they just want to come home."  
  
"I imagine I would too. Why don't they? Kathy can't keep them from you."  
  
"With work they'd just be home alone. I'd rather them be with their mother than by themselves."  
  
"I guess that's right, but that doesn't mean you should be cut off from them completely. You have a right to see your children."  
  
"I was going to go see them tonight."  
  
"Elliot, you know that you didn't have to come here, right? I'd have been fine by myself, you know. You should've gone to see your kids, try and work things out between you and Kathy. You've been married for so long."  
  
"I really don't think that's going to happen."  
  
"Never say never."  
  
"I don't know, Liv. Whenever we talk we argue, even before she left. This was a long time coming, frankly I'm surprised we lasted as long as we did. I think towards the end we were just sticking together for the kids, no matter how cliché that sounds."  
  
"You should have told me. Maybe I could've talked with Kathy, helped to figure out some things."  
  
"I don't think that would have worked, Kathy isn't really your biggest fan."  
  
"Well, why the hell not? I've not been anything but nice to her. Haven't I?"  
  
"It's not your fault, she doesn't like anybody that I work with. Least of all you, 'cos you're my partner, and a woman. She's even gone as far as accusing me of having a relationship with you before."  
  
"Surely she knows you'd never cheat on her. And, we're nothing but friends, and work-partners."  
  
"You give her too much credit. Kathy's an insanely jealous person, always has been. You know what, I'd rather not talk about Kathy. She's gone, our marriage is over, lets talk about something a little bit more…what's the words…positive?"  
  
"Ok, like what?"  
  
"I don't know. Something that doesn't have to do with my depressing life?"  
  
"Well, it's not as if my life is anymore glamorous. I've not had a date in God knows how long. So, I guess talking 'bout my life is out of the picture. You know, there's always the weather."  
  
Elliot chuckled, "well, the weather hasn't exactly been wonderful either, has it? There's not been a dry day in almost a week."  
  
"You're right. Since our miserable lives and the weather are out of the picture, what do we talk about?"  
  
"Wanna talk about Albertson?"  
  
"I was wondering how long it would take you to bring him up. But, since you already brought up the subject, why not? Let's talk about Albertson. But, which one? The one that I killed, or the one who wants to kill me?"   
  
"Don't be so hard on yourself. If you didn't shoot him he would've shot me, probably you as well."  
  
"Too bad his brother didn't think so."  
  
"George Albertson wasn't a very smart criminal, like his brother was. He probably thought we'd find out about him, and anybody will be upset after a family member dies. He needed somebody to blame."  
  
She cocked her head to one side, "and who better than the bitch who pulled the trigger?"  
  
"Come on, Liv."  
  
"No, Elliot. That's how he sees me. But, be realistic, we wouldn't have found out 'bout him if he hadn't broken into my apartment. You know that as well as I do."  
  
"But, he didn't. That's where the dumb criminal thing comes in."  
  
Olivia felt a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, when Elliot gave her one of his cheesy grins she couldn't help but let her own smile grow. She looked at her wristwatch to see that it was nearing midnight and though she tried not to she yawned, "well, I think it's time I hit the hay. I'll get you some sheets for the guest-bed." She got up off of the sofa and grabbed a set of dark blue sheets from the linen closet and handed them to Elliot.  
  
"What, you're not going to make my bed for me? You're not a good hostess."  
  
"I don't believe I ever said I was. And, you're the one who wanted to 'protect' me, I didn't ask you to come."  
  
"So? What's your point?"  
  
She rolled her eyes, "goodnight, Elliot."  
  
"G'night."  
  
Olivia went into her room and Elliot went to the guestroom. Olivia fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.  
  
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a/n: so, this chapter is a bit shorter than the other, but most of them will only be around 1,000-1,300 words anyway, the former was just that long because it was the pilot. It'll start getting better soon. Anyway, let me know what you think.

Nothinglittlegirl: I have no idea what store it is you're talking about, so, no. Didn't get his name from the store...which guy though?


	3. Chapter Three

How does it feel?:  
  
Chapter Three  
  
Disclaimer: See chapter One.  
  
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Olivia woke up to banging on her bedroom door, and Elliot shouting for her to wake. It took her a few moments to get her bearings straight and remember why Elliot was in her apartment. All the while he kept banging.  
  
"You gonna come out here, or am I gonna have to go in after you?" He yelled through the door.  
  
She slid out of her bed and sleepily walked to the bedroom door, having trouble keeping her eyes open. "It's Saturday," she said as she opened the door, "what could possibly be so important that you'd wake me up early…on a Saturday."  
  
"This," he said thrusting a piece of paper towards her. The look on his face grave.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Read it."  
  
She opened the paper and written in bold, black letters was, "Prince Charming won't always be there to protect you. See you soon."  
  
"It's probably just a joke."  
  
"You don't believe that any more than I do. This guys out for revenge, Liv."  
  
She sighed and pushed past him and walked down the hallway, into the living room, and slumped down on her sofa. "What do you suppose we do about this? It's just a note, there's no way to prove it WAS Albertson who put it…wherever you found it, I'm sure he knows by now not to leave any fingerprints. It's circumstantial evidence, poor circumstantial evidence at that."  
  
"I know one thing for sure, there's no way I'm going to leave you alone now."  
  
"Great, now not only do I have a ex-con threatening me, I've got a babysitter, too. Don't think because of this little threat you get to follow me into the shower."  
  
"Damn," he said with a lopsided grin.  
  
Olivia yawned and rubbed her eyes, in an attempt to wake herself up further, "since I'm already awake, you wanna go out for breakfast?"  
  
"Sure, why not?"  
  
"Alright. You're buying."  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"You woke me up."  
  
"Because I found a note that had been slipped under your door. I thought you'd be upset if I didn't wake you up."  
  
"Well, we'll never know now, will we? Well, I gotta go take a shower, get ready. But, it shouldn't take more than half an hour, you got a change of clothes in your car?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"There's a bathroom across from the guestroom, no shower, just a half-bath. It's got a mirror, you should probably shave."  
  
"5 o'clock shadow not workin' for me?"  
  
"It's beyond a 5 o'clock shadow, El. Trust me, shave."  
  
"Yes, master."  
  
Olivia rolled her eyes, "you'd better be ready by the time I get out."  
  
"What ever you say, my lord."  
  
"Stop that."  
  
"Yes, your majesty."  
  
"Elliot," she said in a warning tone.  
  
"Stopping now."  
  
40 minutes later at 10 minutes until 8 they arrived at a little mom and pop restaurant just a block away from Olivia's apartment called Jesse's. Olivia had been stopping in to eat at least once a week for nearly a year, so she was known by a few of the waitresses and waiters. One in particular who normally served her, Sarah was her name, Olivia guessed she was about 19, working to help pay for her tuition. She ended up serving them that morning.  
  
"Hey, it's our cop," she said as she handed Olivia and Elliot menus, "on a date."  
  
Olivia turned a deep shade of red, as did Elliot, "…uh, no, Sarah, not a date. This is my…partner, Elliot."  
  
"Oh, like at work? I got'cha. Guess I should've seen the ring, eh? Dumb me. Anyway, you guys want some coffee?"   
  
They nodded.  
  
"Alright, I'll be right back with that, anything else I can get you? Orange juice, water?"  
  
Olivia looked at Elliot and he shook his head as to say he didn't need anything else. "No, we're good."  
  
"Ok, then. I'll be back in a bit to take your order."  
  
Olivia nodded and she walked to the next table to take their order.   
  
"You come here often?"  
  
"Yeah, it's a nice little place. Good food. I'd recommend the French toast."  
  
"I dunno, I'm more of a pancakes guy myself."  
  
"Ah, see. You learn something new everyday, huh?"  
  
"That's what they say. Anyway, Olivia, about that note--"  
  
"Don't worry so much, El. You're ruining our date," she winked and flashed him a cheeky grin. He smiled back at her, almost uncomfortable it seemed. He was just about to say something when Sarah came back with their coffee.  
  
"Have you decided what you want yet?" She asked.  
  
Elliot nodded and told Sarah what he wanted, pancakes. Olivia got the French toast. Sarah went off to put their order in and Olivia and Elliot sat in an awkward silence for a moment.  
  
"I'm really worried about you, Olivia," Elliot said at last, "I mean, you're pushing this aside like nothing. Like this guy who's after you isn't dangerous. Hell, like he's not even after you at all."  
  
"Yeah, but with Prince Charming watching out for me, why should I be afraid?"  
  
"Don't joke."   
  
She sighed, "well, you're being paranoid enough for both of us, so how am I s'pose to act? I mean, if I act paranoid and jump at every strange noise, I'd be letting Albertson have what he wants, wouldn't I? Though, Huang might have more incite to this than I do. But, he wants me scared, and by being scared I'd be letting him think that he's won."  
  
"What if he doesn't want you scared? 'Cause, it seems to me he just wants you gone."  
  
"Gone? Don't you mean dead? But, I guess you could be right. Or, I could be right. Who knows?"  
  
"He does."  
  
Olivia rolled her eyes, "can we go back to being two normal people on a date, instead of two cops being paranoid?"  
  
"Liv, we're definitely not 'normal people' and we're were never on a date."  
  
"Yeah, but, that was so much nicer than sitting here pondering how Albertson's gonna get back at me, isn't it?"  
  
Elliot shrugged and Sarah came back with their food, and they ate in relative silence. Every now and then one would say something to make the other either laugh or smile, but other than that they just sat and enjoyed each others company. They were too busy with each other and their meals that they didn't notice the short, stout man sitting in the corner booth, watching them through dark rimmed sunglasses, planning his revenge.  
  
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a/n: alright, there it is. Thank you for all the reviews! Tell me how you liked this chapter, please! I love reviews, especially the nice ones. So, keep 'em coming. I hope you're not too terribly bored with this story, but, then again if you were you wouldn't still be reading now, would you? Or, would you? Hmm…anyway. I should probably go, it's already 1 in the morning, and I've gotta wake up early. 


	4. Chapter Four

How Does it Feel?  
  
Part 4  
  
Disclaimer: We've gone through this before, have we not? They're not mine, I don't claim them. Yadda, yadda, yadda, and so on and so forth.  
  
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The rest of Saturday and Sunday went by with relative normalcy. Monday did as well. But, come early Tuesday morning it was a whole other story. At 2:32 in the AM Olivia's phone rang, thinking it was work she answered just after the first ring, only to be greeted by utter silence. After saying a few choice words she hung up and went back to bed. Around 45 minutes later, at 3:16, the phone rang again. This time Elliot picked it up only to hear nothing and say a few dirty words himself. When the third phone call came at 4:53 Olivia knew she wasn't going to be getting back to sleep. By the time the fourth call came they were ready and while Elliot was on the phone, yelling and cursing, Olivia called in for a trace. But, their efforts were to no avail, it was an untraceable number.  
  
"Damn prepaid cell-phones," Elliot muttered.  
  
When the phone rang for the fifth time Olivia and Elliot had both had enough, they unplugged the phone.   
  
"What happens if work needs us?"  
  
Elliot shrugged, "then they can call our cells."  
  
By the time Olivia and Elliot got to work they were each on their fourth cup of coffee. She yawned and fought to keep her eyes open the whole day, which hadn't gone unnoticed to Munch who took the opportunity to ask Olivia what she and Elliot had been doing to leave her so tired.  
  
"Funny," she said sarcastically. "How 'bout I call you every 45 minutes from 2 till dawn, see how you like it."  
  
"You can call me anytime you'd like," he said with his right eyebrow slightly raised.  
  
Olivia rolled her eyes and went back to her paperwork.   
  
The rest of the day went by uneventful, or, seemed to. They had no idea if the phone calls continued because the left the phone unplugged when they got back to Olivia's apartment. They ordered out and went over their latest case, a 22 year old woman was found in her home, raped, beaten, and murdered. They worked until it was after 12, having lost track of time, then went to their separate rooms.   
  
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Olivia woke up Wednesday morning to knocking on her bedroom door, much like Saturday morning. She got out of bed and ran a hand through her hair haphazardly, then opened up the door. "What is it this time?"   
  
"You've got a delivery." He held up a bundle of dead roses. "Liv, I don't think we should stay at your apartment anymore, come with me to my house, it's not safe to stay here."  
  
She opened her mouth to protest but looked at the roses and then back at him, the look in his eyes told her he was serious, "alright, fine. I'll grab a few things before we leave for work. But, what makes you think he doesn't know where you live?"  
  
"He probably does, but I'd still feel better if you weren't here."  
  
She nodded, "throw those away." She said indicating towards the roses.  
  
"There's a note."   
  
She sighed and took the small card from within the roses. It read, "See you soon." She ripped the card in half and walked into the kitchen and threw both the ripped up card and the roses into the trash can. "I'll be waiting," she said to herself.   
  
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It was nearly midnight by the time Elliot and Olivia got to his house, they'd been following leads on their current case, and one lead brought them to a man named Joshua Sullivan, when they brought him in for questioning and took a DNA sample it matched the DNA found at the crime scene, but not 100%. The closeness of the match lead them to Joshua's twin brother, William. They brought him in as well, took his DNA, which matched 100%.   
  
Elliot told Olivia she could sleep in Maureen's old room, which had been turned into a guest room. It was across the hall from the master room. Olivia didn't think that it was a coincidence.   
  
After changing into a pair of drawstring pants and a tank top Olivia went around the room looking at the photos that covered the shelves and walls. Many of them were of Maureen and her friends, but there were also a few of the whole family. She picked up one that was taken at what looked like Yankee Stadium, everybody was there, sans one person, Elliot. She frowned and picked up another photo, this time of Elliot, Kathy, and a baby that Olivia figured was Maureen. She studied the picture, Elliot and Kathy were both smiling in the photo, but the bags under their eyes were clearly visible. There was a knock at the door and she put the photo down.  
  
"Come in."  
  
Elliot came in the room with some sheets and he helped her make the bed, before he left she thanked him.  
  
He furrowed his brow, confused, "what for?"   
  
"Everything, staying with me, letting me come here. You didn't have to."  
  
He smiled, "I wanted to. Get some sleep, we've gotta be up early."  
  
"Right. Night, Elliot."  
  
"Night."  
  
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a/n: it's kind of boring right at the moment, I know. But take my word for it, it'll get better. I swear. So, keep reading. Anyhow, review please! 


	5. Chapter Five

How Does It Feel

Chapter Five

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/n: I am so sorry that it's taken this long to update. But, I've had so much to do with moving and the start of school. Plus, we didn't get the internet until Friday, so I've been scrambling to finish this chapter so I could update it, so after watching L&O:SVU on TV today I finished it (the chapter) and here it is. Hope you like!  
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Elliot woke in the middle of the night to the sound of panicked cries coming from across the hall. His initial thoughts were of Maureen, the screams were, in fact, coming from her room, but then he remembered. That room was no longer occupied by his first born but instead by Olivia, his partner. In the short millisecond it took for those thoughts to cross his mind he was out of bed and quickly running to the source of the cries, his mind buzzing with the thousands, millions of possibilities.

In an instant he was at the door to Maureen's old room, now turned into the guest bed, the thought of knocking never once crossed his mind and he thanked God that she had left the door unlocked. He rushed into the room and was relieved when he say that it was void of anybody except for Olivia, and himself. He rushed to her bedside where she was moaning in agony, tossing and turning against an unseen assailant. He grabbed her shoulders and gently shook her, "Liv, wake up."

She jerked awake yelling and hitting. He took a few good blows before grabbing her arms as forcefully as he could without causing her pain and pulled her close to him. His arms wrapped around her body he held her as tightly as he could, again without hurting her. "It's ok, Liv. It's just me. Don't worry, I'm here," he whispered into her hair, "It's alright. You're alright. It was just a nightmare, only a dream. I'm right here."

She broke down in his arms, sobbing into his bare chest. He let her cry, knowing that for her shedding tears was a rare occasion, and that this would most likely be the only time she would cry though the whole ordeal. He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that but he did know that by the time her cries turned to sniffles and the occasional hiccup it was beginning to get light outside, and he could see the starts of a pink sky through a window in the room.

When the hiccups finally subsided she pushed back from him, breaking his strong hold on her. She looked up at him, her eyes red and puffy, tears streaking her face. He gave her a small, sad smile and cupped her face in his hands, wiping away the tears with his thumbs, then placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. "You wanna talk about it?"

To his surprise she nodded. She told him about her dream, her voice breaking. "He broke in...he...you were lying on the floor and there was blood...everywhere. Oh, God...El, it was horrible. He came at me, he had a gun, and he...he–" Elliot pulled her back to him, and she clung onto him for dear life. "The whole time that he was...," she spoke into his chest, "the only thing that I could think of was that I would never see you again. And that it was all my fault."

He ran his hands up and down her back, so as to comfort her. "It's alright, 'Livia. I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to worry about that. I won't leave you alone, I swear. I'll always be here for you." He felt her sigh into his chest and realized then that he had no shirt on. It hadn't even occurred to him, or to her for that matter. Still, he didn't nothing about it. He just wrapped his arms around her tighter, afraid to let go.  
--------------------

Olivia knew that she should probably break the embrace again, but she didn't want to. His strong hold on her was comforting, his warm touch taking away from the cold chill that her nightmare had left her in. She turned her head to rest her right cheek which was sticky from her tears and he absently began to run his fingers through her short hair. The sensation gave her chills. She never wanted to leave his arms.

"We should probably get ready for work." He said taking her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah," she sighed. Neither of them made a move to break the embrace.

A couple of minutes later she noticed that the sun had fully risen in the now clear blue sky. She closed her eyes with another sky and hesitantly pulled out of the warm hold he had on her. She looked at him through sad eyes that almost immediately fell on his bare chest. She quickly looked away, "we should probably take a shower. I know I need one, and with all the crying I din you probably do to."

His eyes narrowed, "that an invite?" He said with a cheeky grin.

She rolled her eyes, "outta my room, Stabler."

He held up his hands in mock defense, "alright. Fine. Don't bite my head of, ok?" He flashed her another grin, larger than the prior. "But, if you're ever offering, I'm game."

She threw a pillow at him and it hit him in the head, "out!," she yelled playfully.

He left the room laughing and a few seconds later she heard the door across the hall shut. Still smiling she got off of the bed and made her way down the hallway, looking for another bathroom. She found it and quickly undressed and stepped into the shower, turning the water on warm.

With her horrible nightmare now nothing more than a fleeting memory she finished her shower and went back to her room, toweling her hair dry. She began to get ready for work. As she pulled her black three quarter's length shirt over her head a thought crossed her mind. Elliot always knew how to make her feel better.

She smiled as she thought over what he had told her not to much earlier; _I won't leave you alone, I swear. I'll always be here for you._

She hoped so.  
--------------------

a/n: so there it is, hope it was worth the wait. Let me know what'cha think 'bout it. (Which means, push the blueish purple button that says review!)


	6. Chapter Six

How Does it Feel:

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, I know this.

A/N: 'Cos I was asked so nicely, this chapter is going to be a longer chapter! I swear, from now on, at least 1,300, or more.

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Work was going by way to slowly for Olivia. Not only were they stuck with paper work since they had solved their latest case but she was having trouble looking Elliot in the eye. Which wouldn't have been so bad if not for the fact that he kept trying to talk with her, or get her took look up at him for any little reason. Whenever she was forced to she did her best to look the opposite direction, on one occasion Elliot had tricked her, adverting his gaze to meet her own, which had at the time been staring intensely at the coffee pot. Her cheeks had flushed and she felt her temperature rise when his blue eyes met her own brow ones. Oh yeah, she was embarrassed.

She wasn't sure why she had felt that way, Elliot was her best friend, he knew nearly everything about her, and he had seen her venerable before. 'But never like this morning,' that annoying little voice in her back of her head screamed to her. The voice was right, he might have seen her shed a few tears on a rare occasion, but never sobbing as she had done only hours prior. It left her feeling weak, broken, and insecure, and all because of some damned nightmare. She snorted inwardly.

She watched a clock on the wall closest to her as it slowly ticked. Seconds turned to minutes but she didn't have the patience to watch as the minutes turned into hours. She'd have to find something else to occupy her time. She looked down at the unfinished paperwork on her desk and sighed, that would have to do. She went to work and tried not to pay attention to the looks she could see Elliot giving her out of the corner of her eye. Focusing on her paperwork time started to pass by quickly.

By the time the clock neared five o'clock she was dreading leaving work. If it was just the two of them, her and Elliot, who knows what he'd ask. 'What a strange turn in events,' she mused to her self, 'going from can't wait to leave work to not wanting to leave...at all.' She thought about staying late, but Elliot would only stay with her. It would just delay the inevitable.

At 5:06 she put her papers away and looked up at Elliot, "are you ready to go?"

He nodded and gathered his things together, they took off for his house a few minutes later.

--------------------

Elliot wished she would get off her high horse and say something to him, it was terribly uncomfortable with her giving him the cold shoulder. Why? He had no clue. He guessed she was embarrassed about breaking down in front of him. Why something like that would cause her to be embarrassed he hadn't a clue.

"Are you going to talk to me? Even a word?"

She grunted in response.

"Guess that's better than nothing," he said with a snort.

She turned and looked out her window without saying a word.

When they pulled into the driveway of Elliot's house a familiar (to Elliot) blue Pontiac Grand AM was already parked in the driveway, in it's normal spot.

"Who's that?" Olivia inquired, speaking to him for the first time since they left the station.

"That's Kathleen's car. I wonder what she's doing here."

"Maybe she wanted to see her father?," she offered.

"Maybe." Elliot replied getting out of the car, Olivia following suit. They made their way inside and when they entered Kathleen came running (well, walking hastily) to her father and into his arms, "daddy!" She said happily, hugging him. When she let go she noticed Olivia and gave her a confused look.

"'Livia? What are you doing here?"

"Kathleen! That's rude," her father scorned.

Olivia laughed, "no, it's not, El. It's a legit question. I'd probably ask the same," she paused sitting down on the couch, motioning for Kathleen to do the same. "You see, the other night this man, George Albertson, got out of prison. He's a little perturbed with me–"

Elliot snorted.

Olivia threw him the nastiest look she could come up with and went back to her explanation, "you see, I shot his brother when he threatened to shoot your father. He later came after me for doing so, and since he was also an accomplice before and after the fact to the crimes that his brother had committed he got sentenced to 5 years in prison. He got out this year for good behavior, and is seemingly taking off where he left off. You're father didn't think it wise that I be left alone, although I beg to differ, and I really didn't feel like him ordering another protective detail on me," she threw him another look and he frowned at her. "He thought it would be safer to come here, instead of my apartment, where Albertson has already ventured."

"That's horrible!" Kathleen exclaimed, "how can you sit there and be so calm when there's somebody out to get you?"

"Well, with work somebody's always a little pissed at me. I guess you just learn to get use to it. And, I've gone up against this guy before, he's not that smart. Or, at least, he wasn't 4 years ago. And it helps to have somebody watching my back, even though it's not absolutely needed." She shrugged, "I've got my gun, so does your father, I think makes our chances better if he ever does come after me...which, I doubt he will."

Kathleen furrowed her brow, "I'd be scared...you're not?"

"Well...I never have time to be scared. I'm always busy with something, it helps to keep yourself occupied."

"Kathleen," Elliot called from the other couch, "not that I'm not glad you've come to see me. But, why are YOU here?"

"I came to see if you were doing OK, and if you've been remembering to feed Gracie. 'Cos it seems to me that you've forgotten all about her."

"That damn cat..." he muttered, "she doesn't even belong to you."

"That doesn't mean she shouldn't be fed!"

Now Olivia was confused, "Gracie is who exactly?"

"Well, she's the neighborhood cat. A stray tabby. She's beautiful, gray and orange hair and these bright hazel eyes. Lizze named her, dad said that he didn't mind if we fed her as long as she stayed out of the house. She likes to hang around the back porch."

"Oh...how's school?"

"Good, we've only been in for a few weeks. I've got psychology–"

"Huang would be proud," Olivia said looking at Elliot, he shrugged.

"I never realized it was so much work! For the first week alone I must have gone through 20 or 30 sheets of paper! It's crazy. We had to write down 7 defining moments, which was easy enough, 5 pivotal people, which was easier, and then 10 critical choices, which was the hardest. I think mom was mad though..."

"Why?" Elliot asked.

"Because I put Olivia down as one of my pivotal people. It was you, her, Olivia, Maureen, and my best friend, Laura."

Olivia shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "I'm one of your pivotal people?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, everything you have to put up with, being a female cop, and the type of crimes you investigate. Then...there's your past, which I didn't write about, but vaguely mentioned. Coach is the only one who will read them anyway. I didn't tell mom, but you're the first person I wrote about, then daddy."

"Wow...that's...an honor."

Kathleen smiled, "thanks. Oh, hey, who's room are you in?"

"Maureen's."

She looked at her father, "would you mind if I stayed? I love mom and all, but, I'd like some away time from her and Grandma...who's suffocating me. I can get to school myself. Please, daddy?"

"Call you mother first. I don't want any more trouble."

Kathleen beamed, "thanks!" She ran off to call her mother leaving the two partners alone once again.

"So..." Elliot said, "are you mad at me?"

"For what?"

"Well...you've been...I don't know...you've not said more than two sentences to me all day. It just makes me think I did something wrong."

"No, you didn't do anything. It's–"

Kathleen came back into the livingroom looking upset, "well, looks like I'm not going to be staying tonight. Mom said no school nights. Is it alright if the twins and I come on Saturday?"

"Sure honey. You don't have to ask me, as long as your mother knows about it I'm fine."

"Daddy...what's going on between you and mom?"

"We've just grown apart sweetheart, adults do that sometimes. I'm the man she fell in love with anymore, and we both know that. It's hard to explain, do you understand?"

"I think so. Dickey and Liz are going around being hopeful, they think that this is just a bump in the road. But, it's not is it? You're not getting back together?"

"It's doubtful, sweetheart. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. I understand. I wouldn't want you two pretending anyway, I'd rather know the truth than live some lie about a happy family. But, we're not moving are we? I mean, if you two get a divorce is one of you going to keep the house?"

"Well, I figured I'd let you mother keep the house and get an apartment in the city, that way I'm close by, but...with work I can't really be a single parent. You're mother would be there for you more."

She nodded and hugged him again, "bye, daddy. Bye, Olivia."

She smiled and said goodbye and a few minutes later headlights flashed in the window and then faded into the night.

"You wanna talk?" Olivia asked.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"I guess...but, it's not like you're not going through something, either. I wouldn't know anything about it, but, divorce can't be fun."

"I think you're situation is a little more...urgent. You gonna tell me why you've not talked to me all day?"

"Nah...I'll let you think about it," she smiled, "seriously, Elliot. I'm fine, I just needed some time to think things over. About the dream, and Albertson. But, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"If you never have another dream like that I won't have to."

After eating and watching some TV they set off for bed, Elliot tossed and turned for a little before falling asleep. Waiting to make sure that Olivia didn't have another nightmare.

--------------------

3:26am

She had another one. She woke up, screaming bloody murder and slapping at anything and everything in her path, which turned out to be Elliot once again. It had been worse than the first, Elliot's death more graphic and painful...Olivia there forced to watch. This time, along with her waking screaming and in a cold sweat, tears were already rolling down her face when she was pulled out of the nightmare.

He held her close to him again, and she clung to him as tight as she could. She could barely breath, but, at least she knew he was alright. She cried into his shoulder as he whispered words of comfort into her hair, telling her that he was there, she was alright, it was all just a terrible dream. It calmed her down, for the time being, and her tears turned into hiccups. He still held her close, it was as if he was afraid to let go just as she was. Not that she minded...lately she only felt safe around him, no matter how cheesy that sounded.

It was nearing 4:30 when she told him she was alright, he could go back to bed, he had at least a few hours more sleep, if he needed it. He smiled halfheartedly and wished her good dreams. 'Yeah, right' she thought, 'that'll be the day'.

She wasn't sure if he ever got back to sleep, she sure hadn't, but when they met in the kitchen for breakfast she could see dark bags under his normally bright blue eyes, which were streaked with red veins. He asked her how she was doing and she told him she'd been better.

The ate breakfast and then they left for work. After they pulled off down the road a mysterious black Taurus pulled into the driveway of Elliot's house and a short, stout man got out of the car, awaiting his revenge.

-------------------

DUN DUN DUN

a/n: yeah, I know, cheesy ending. But, gotta get some action in there, right? That's what this story is about after all, Albertson's revenge. So, then. Review.


	7. Chapter Seven

How Does it Feel

Chapter 7

Disclaimer: See every other chapter.

Olivia nearly fell asleep at her desk twice that day, and Elliot actually did once. Olivia caught it though, and woke him up before the Captain saw. Each of them had gone through countless cups of coffee that wasn't doing either of them any good. Munch and Fin were sure having fun though, commenting on what they thought could make them so tired.

"You know," Munch said, "I've noticed a pattern in the last few days...one of you stays at the others place and all of a sudden you're coming to work exhausted. Why is that?"

"You really want to know?" Olivia said seductively.

"I don't think you should tell him," Elliot old her, having no clue what she was doing but wanting to play along. Munch was getting on his nerves.

"Tell me."

"We've been so tired because we've been conspiring with the people behind all of those government conspiracies on ways to kill you and get away with it. You see, you're coming too close to the truth, so they want you dead. And, we want you dead 'cos you're annoying the hell out of us."

He threw her a dirty look and went back his work.  
  
"She got you there, man." Fin said with a laugh.

There were a few more friendly banters throughout the day, but Munch never brought up the tired thing, he figured that if they wanted to talk about it they would tell him. And, Elliot had told him that she hadn't been sleeping well since that man got out of prison. He knew that that was probably it.

Olivia and Elliot stayed at work a little late, finishing up the last of their paperwork when they had finished they went out for something to eat. Elliot asked Olivia if she wanted to go to the restaurant they had eaten breakfast at the other day. They went to Jesse's and were seated by Sarah, the same girl that had served them the other morning.

"Nice to see you again, detectives," she said as she handed them their menus, "do you know what you want to drink?"  
  
"Diet Coke." Olivia told her. Elliot got a regular.

"Diet?" He said when Sarah had gone."What? I like it better."

"Ok, whatever," he flipped through the menu, "what do they have here that's good."

"Their cheeseburgers are good, so are their chicken fingers. Which is what I'm going to get."He nodded and looked back through the menu, when Sarah came back to ask them if they knew what they wanted Olivia ordered the chicken fingers and Elliot got a cheeseburger with everything sans mustard."You think he's given up on me?" Olivia asked when Sarah left to get their orders ready."Albertson? I hope so. Maybe he realized he'd go back to jail and didn't want to. Who knows."

"I wish I did, it'd make me feel a bit better. I don't want to have to stay with you for the rest of my life."  
  
"Why? Is my company that bad? I don't smell do I?"  
  
Olivia laughed, "that's not it...although a shower wouldn't hurt you," he made a face and she shrugged her shoulders, "what? Just a bit of friendly advice."

"You're joking with me, right?"  
  
She sighed, "yes, I am. Don't worry, you smell fine. I just don't want to rely on you to feel safe, Elliot. I should be able to feel safe even when I'm alone, but these damn dreams keep creeping up on me."  
  
"When did they start?"  
  
"They actually started the night he got out, but they kept getting worse and worse, and then suddenly you were thrown into the equation. Everytime he killed you it got worse and worse, more painful and horrible than before. I'm surprised I only screamed out in the last two. The ones before were bad enough."

He reached across the table and took her hand into his, "Liv, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Trust me, I won't let anything bad happen to you, or me. Ok?"  
  
"How can you promise something like that Elliot. You don't know what could happen any more than I do."  
  
"I know I wouldn't leave you. That I can promise."

She smiled weakly and drew her hand back, "I wish it was that easy."

Sarah brought their food to them and they ate in silence, neither wanted to break the uncomfortable silence. When they finished Elliot paid the tab (after arguing with Olivia about it) and they left. When they got into the car Olivia turned the music on to further the silence between the two of them.

They listened for a little bit before Elliot cut it off. "Do you want to talk?"

"About?"  
  
"The dreams."

She inhaled sharply, "them again, huh?"  
  
"Maybe it'll make you feel better to talk about them."

She nodded, "Ok. The first scared me enough in itself. You weren't in that one. I came home and he was already in my apartment. He attacked me, and chloroformed me, I passed out. The next thing I know I'm awake and he's on top of me. That's when I woke up. The second was a little more brutal than the first, he beat me until I passed out instead of drugging me, and well, then the same thing happened as in the first. The third one was I came home to find you tied up and passed out on the floor. I went to check on you and he hit me over the head, when I woke up you and I was tied up like you. Then...well you get the picture. You know about the last two."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"  
  
She shrugged and he pulled into his driveway. Kathleen's Grand AM was in the same place it had been the day before. They got out of the car and made their way into the house, which was still pitch black although it was apparent that at least Kathleen was there. Elliot figured she had fallen asleep in her room or was on the phone.

When he opened the door he flicked the lights on and immediately gasped and Olivia saw his hand travel to his gun and unclip the holster. Since he was still in front of her she couldn't see what he was gasping at, "what?"

He ran into the house and Olivia could finally see what was wrong. There in the middle of the room was Kathleen, bound and tied to a chair, blood trickling down the right side of her head. She too took her gun from it's holding place and she made her way into the house, gun raised. Elliot was busy trying to wake his daughter up from an unnatural slumber. When she finally did she looked at him terrified. Since he had already taken the tape off of her mouth she could speak. "Leave!" She yelled.

Her father cupped her face in his hands, "what?"  
  
"Get out now! Hurry! He's still here!"Elliot didn't have time to react before the bullet hit him, he flew backwards onto the floor and Kathleen began to scream. Olivia's eyes traveled from her partners bleeding body to where the bullet had come from. There standing in the entryway of the kitchen was George Albertson, a smoking gun in his hands. He smiled evilly at her, "guess Prince Charming can't save you after all."

a/n: DUN DUN DUN! Now this is what I call a cliffhanger! dunks at a shoe being thrown from a reader.

Hope ya like.


	8. Chapter Eight

How Does it Feel?

Chapter 8

Disclaimer: You know, I'm really getting tired of this damn thing. They're not mine.

A/n: (Takes cover) Alright! Alright! Here...just don't throw anything at me! No rocks, no tomatoes, no shoes!! And by the way...what the hell is a brickbrat, whatever it is...juts don't throw it!

Olivia's gun was instantly trained on him, but as quickly as her gun lined up with his chest his gun lined up with the back of Kathleen's head. Olivia could feel herself tremble.

"Drop the gun or I shoot the little bitch," he spat at her. 

"Ok...ok! Just don't shoot her." She crouched down on the floor and placed her gun next to her foot, she then stood back up and kicked it slightly, sending it across the floor. Her eyes met Kathleen's which were wide with fear, pleading for help. Then Kathleen's eyes traveled to the floor and she whimpered, Olivia's followed Kathleen's and her breath instantly left her body when she saw what had horrified Kathleen, Elliot was lying on the floor unconscious, blood flowing from a wound in his stomach and pooling around him.

"Look at me you fucking bitch!" Albertson screamed. Olivia's eyes flew up to meet his cold gray ones. He laughed bitterly. "Oh...the murderer has a conscious?"  
  
"You're brother was about to shoot my partner, there was nothing else I could do!"

"YOU KILLED HIM!"

"And if he dies you're no better than he was."

He snorted, "my brother was a good man."  
  
"He raped and killed innocent women! That hardly qualifies him as a good man."

"You didn't know him!"  
  
"I knew enough! All I needed to know was he had a loaded weapon pointed at my partner and he was hell-bent on pulling the trigger. I wasn't going to let him do that, I couldn't."

He swung the gun around so that it was pointing at her, "how does it feel?"  
  
"How does what feel?"  
  
"How does it feel to know that the one person you ever truly loved is gone, that the only person who ever gave a damn about you won't be there for you anymore, and there's not a damn thing you do to get them back? To know that there was something you should have done, something that could have saved them?"  
  
"You give yourself too much credit, Albertson, my partner's not dead yet."

"Oh, he will be, soon enough. It doesn't feel good, does it? You know what, detective. You and I...were not so much different. You killed my brother, naturally I want to kill you. I kill your partner, you're gonna want to kill me. It's basic instinct...an eye for an eye."  
  
"If my partner dies I won't have to kill you myself, the state of New York will do it for me. Cop killers go straight to death row."  
  
She saw something move out of the corner of her eye and turned to look in the direction of the movement. Elliot had woken up and somehow gotten a hold of her gun, it was pointing up at Albertson who by then noticed Olivia's distraction and turned to see what it was himself. As soon as he saw the gun in Elliot's hands his own gun pointed at Elliot for a second time that night.

"Go to Hell, bastard," Elliot spat out as best he could as he pulled the trigger. The bullet hit Albertson in the stomach and he went flying backwards, out cold. Olivia ran to Elliot and checked the wound. He was bleeding badly.

"Oh God...oh God..." She searched her mind franticly for something that would slow the bleeding, she settled with his own shit. She pulled it off of him and pushed the cotton material against the wound, he cried out in pain and his head fell back to the ground.  
  
"Damn it...Liv...stop!" He yelled.

She let go and took his hands and pressed them where hers had been. "I swear to God Elliot if you let go of that shirt I'll shoot you myself."

He snorted, "just...call for...a bus."

She pulled out her cell and dialed 9-1-1 letting them know the emergency and Elliot's home address. When she hung up she remembered Kathleen. She rushed over to where she was still tied to the chair and began to unknot the ropes. "What did he do to you Kathleen? Did he hurt you?"

She was sobbing, understandably, "I came to see Daddy, but he wasn't home. I used my key to get inside, and he was there in the living room waiting. He hit me and then tied me to the chair. That's it...is dad ok?"  
  
Olivia looked back at him, he was still awake which was good. With the T-shirt covering the bleeding had slowed significantly. "The bus...ambulance is on its way. He's going to be ok, he'll have to have surgery to get the bullet out, but I don't think it hit any organs, and least I hope not." 

The last of the ropes fell to the ground and Olivia found Kathleen in her arms, crying her eyes out. She held on to the teen, letting her cry on her shoulder, trying to find some words that would comfort her, failing miserably. "It'll be ok, Kathleen."

She finally let go when the EMT's arrived and mumbled something about calling her siblings. Olivia let her go, and made her way to where they were putting Elliot on a stretcher. He had passed out again. Olivia took his hand into hers and gave it a small squeeze, "you promised you wouldn't leave me, Stabler. You said no matter what you'd always be with me. Don't break that promise, you hear me?" She kissed his hand and laid it back on the stretcher. Kathleen came back into the room and Olivia took her back into her arms.

"Will you take me to the hospital? I don't think I can drive."

"Of course."

The walked behind the EMT's and got into Kathleen's car (Olivia's was at her apartment). The followed the ambulance to the hospital and waited for hours while he was in surgery. Kathy brought Dickey and Lizze to the hospital, and Maureen had come from campus. They all waited together in silence. Kathleen still holding on to Olivia and occasional crying into her bloodstained shirt. Alex, Munch, Fin, and the Captain arrived as soon as they got the news and Alex had thought enough to bring Olivia some clothes to change into, but Olivia refused. She wasn't going to leave her chair until she knew that he was ok.

It seemed like an eternity before the doctor came out to tell them surgery had finished and Elliot was out in a drugged-induced sleep. He wouldn't wake for hours. He told them to go home and get some rest, but first they could go see him. Kathy and the twins did so and then left, against the twins will. Olivia had offered to stay with them but Kathy had told her she knew what was best for her kids. She wanted Kathleen to come but she refused, saying she had her car and could drive home later.

Olivia finally changed out of her dirty clothes and into the sweats and T-shirt that Alex had brought. She was thankful that they wore around the same size and Alex had brought loose fitting clothes. The Captain, Munch, Fin, and Alex all left after they went and saw Elliot. Maureen, Kathleen, and Olivia were the three that remained. They dozed on and off in the uncomfortable chairs waiting for the doctor to tell them he was awake. Olivia finally had enough of waiting and while the two young girls slept she went to his room.

He was still asleep when she walked in and pulled a chair up by his bed. For awhile she just stared at the heart rate monitor, scared that it would stop suddenly. After a while she was confident that it would stay normal and turned to look at him. "Don't ever do that to me again," she said to him though he was sleeping.

"Do what?" Came a hoarse reply that shocked her.  
  
"You're awake?"  
  
"Trying to find the strength to lift my eyelids at the moment, but yes, awake."

She chuckled softly, "you scared the shit out of me today."

His eyelids finally opened and he squinted at the brightness of the room, he licked his dry lips, "sorry."

"I forgive you. You know, for a second there I thought that you were going to go back on your promise."  
  
"I meant what I said...I won't leave you."  
  
She took his hand into hers again. "You almost did."  
  
"But I didn't." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, "I'm still here."

"You know, Albertson actually said something to me that made sense."

"Oh yeah. What was that?"  
  
"He asked me how it felt knowing that the one person I ever truly loved was gone."  
  
"How's it make sense?" "He was talking about you. He figured you'd bleed to death. But he was right...you're the only person I've ever loved...really loved." 

"Really?" He said, confusion dancing in his eyes.  
  
She smiled at him. "Really." Their fingers intertwined and she at their hands in their perfect fit, then she looked back up at him, his blue eyes meeting her brown ones. "I love you Elliot."

Now instead of confusion dancing in his eyes a smile did. "I love you too."

The heard claps from the doorway and immediately turned to see Maureen and Kathleen standing in the entryway of his room.

"How long have you two been there?" Olivia asked. "Long enough."  
  
"We woke up and you weren't there, so we figured this is the only other placed you'd be. We came to find you. Looks like we should have stayed put." 

Elliot's eyes softened when looking at his middle child, "Kathleen...what did he do to you?" He asked fear in his voice.

"I'm fine daddy. He didn't hit me too hard. I'm more shaken than hurt."  
  
"He didn't..."  
  
"No...he wasn't after me. He just saw me as a trap." "I'm so sorry." 

"I'm fine, daddy. Really. I am. Now...we're going to leave you two alone to talk...Lord knows you need to." They turned and exited quickly. Giggling could be heard along with footsteps traveling down the hall.

Olivia turned back to look at Elliot. "So, what are we going to do about this?"

"Well...you could kiss me, seeing as I can't really move all to well."  
  
She laughed and carefully leaned over and pressed her lips against his. His right hand found her hair and he pushed her deeper into the kiss. She smiled as the kiss broke, "now what?"  
  
"Well...the good stuff can't happen until my wound heals."

"Pity." She frowned, "what about Kathy?" 

"Kathy is out of the picture. We're getting a divorce."

"We can't be together until it's final. I know how much your religion means to you, I'm not going to let you cheat, nor will I be the other woman."  
  
"I understand. We have plenty of time to think about that, my wound has a lot of time to heal."

She smiled and gave him another kiss, just a small one. "Not that I'm thrilled that you're awake...but I really need to get some sleep."  
  
"Crawl in here with me."  
  
"I can't do that, you've just gotten out of surgery."  
  
"The wounds on the left side, get in on the right. I'll be fine as long as you don't try and push me out of the bed."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah. Come on."  
  
She carefully crawled into the bed with him and carefully snuggled next to him. Both fell asleep almost instantly, and that was how Kathleen and Maureen found them nearly 2 hours later.

a/n: yeah, I know, sappy. Let me know what'cha think.


	9. Chapter Nine

How Does it Feel?  
Chapter 9 Disclaimer: fine...I admit it. They ain't mine. Happy?

* * *

She was the first to wake. For a moment she wondered who's arm was draped around her waist, but it didn't take long to remember. The reason for her waking hit her, she had to use the restroom, badly. She went over her plan of action for a moment, how was she to get out of the bed without waking him? He needed his rest, he was just shot in the stomach. Carefully, she removed his arm, the spot on her waist it had occupied still tingling with his warm touch. As slowly as she could she slipped out of the small hospital bed and padded across the room and into the adjacent bathroom.  
  
When she exited the bathroom she was surprised to find she wasn't alone in the room (with the exception of Elliot, that was). Lizze, Dickey, and Kathy were huddled around his bed, watching him sleep. Kathy seemed preoccupied and the twins looked like they wanted to wake their father, but knew not to. When the three heard the footfall caused by her walking they looked towards her. Kathy frowned but the twins smiled sadly at her.  
  
"Hi, 'Livia." Lizzie whispered walking over to her, "how long has dad been sleeping?"  
  
She looked at the clock on the wall and did the math, "almost 6 hours. You know, I bet that if you wake him up he'd be happy to see you, what do you think?"  
  
The younger girl smiled and nodded her head, "I think he would to." She took Olivia's arm and pulled her with her next to the bed. "He'd be happy to see you too."  
  
She could feel Kathy tense behind her, "you know, Lizzie, your daddy and I have already talked...he was awake earlier. How about I go and let you, your brother, and your mother talk with him?"  
  
Lizzie and Dickey both opened their mouths to say something, but Kathy beat them to it. "I think that's a good idea. Olivia is probably tired from not sleeping, aren't you Olivia?"  
  
Olivia turned to face her, "not actually. I did sleep some, but I could use a cup of coffee," she turned back to the twins. "I'll see you guys later, tell your father I'm going to be back after I do my case report, please."  
  
Dickey nodded, "ok. Bye, Liv."  
  
Kathy glared at her evilly as she turned and began to walk out of the room, Olivia just pushed her attitude aside, nothing could kill her mood. After getting some coffee from Starbucks she made her way to the station house, Munch and Fin were there arguing over something. When the two noticed her they ceased their argument and turned their attention to her.  
  
Fin was the fist to talk. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I have a case report to file."  
  
It was Munch's turn to interrogate her, "didn't the Captain give you the rest of the week off?"  
  
"Yes, he did."  
  
"And."  
  
"I wanted to get this one thing done first."  
  
"I figured you'd still be with Elliot," Fin said.  
  
"I was...Kathy came, I decided to give her and the kids some time with him. They are his family after all, I didn't want to intrude on that." She sat down at her desk and began her report.  
  
"Oh," was the only reply, from Munch.  
  
"Oh, what?"  
  
" It was nothing."  
  
"Didn't sound like nothing to me."  
  
"Just forget it, Olivia."  
She decided not to, but didn't say anything else about it. She knew what he meant, it was bad enough that everybody else at the station thought that she and Elliot were sleeping together (she wasn't an idiot, she'd overheard the shameless bathroom gossip, on more than one occasion) but so did Munch...probably Fin and the Captain too. Hell, maybe even Alex thought they were sleeping together.  
  
She finished her report and purposely left her jacket hanging on the back of her chair as she went and gave it to Cragen. After a lecture from him about her needing to go home and rest she went back to retrieve her jacket, as she passed Munch's desk she stopped momentarily. "We're not sleeping together." With that, she left. She could feel Munch's eyes watching her leave, and could hear Fin laughing at what an ass his partner had made out of himself.  
  
She took the Captain's advice and went home, changed out of the clothes Alex had brought her at the hospital and took a nice, hot shower. She even tried sleeping, but it was futile. Sleep wouldn't come. She put on some jeans and an oversized T-shirt and left the apartment, headed for the hospital Elliot was at. It had been nearly 4 hours since she left, she hoped that Kathy had left by then.  
  
When she arrived at the hospital she learned that Kathy had left, but Maureen and Kathleen were now in their fathers room, watching him sleep. They sent her small smiles when she came into the room, then focused their attention back on their father.  
  
"How long has he been asleep?" Olivia asked quietly.  
  
Kathleen answered her. "As long as we've been here, which has been a little over half an hour. I'm not sure how long he was sleeping before then."  
  
"Where did you two go?"  
  
"My dorm room. I let Kathleen take a shower and sleep. When she woke up we came back here."  
  
"Was your mother still here when you arrived?"  
  
"No, but we guessed she'd come since there are some flowers signed by Dickey and Lizzie next to his bed. When did you leave?"  
  
"Almost four hours ago. I had to write my case report and I wanted to take a shower."  
  
Kathleen looked at her with a grave expression, "the man...what happened to him?"  
  
"He died...this morning on the operating table. The bullet hit his large intestines and did too much damage."  
  
She nodded slowly.  
  
"Have you guys eaten anything?"  
  
"Not since this morning."  
  
"How about we go get something to eat and let your father sleep? We'll come up later and check on him to see if he's awake yet, all right?"  
  
Kathleen nodded, "ok. Sounds good."  
  
They stood and Maureen got her jacket, the three of them left for the cafeteria.  
  
"So," Maureen asked as they walked down the corridor and entered the elevator, "you and my dad are like...dating now, right?"  
  
Olivia bit her lip to keep from smiling, "I'm not sure what your father and I are right now. But, until your father divorces your mother, we're not anything."  
  
The elevator dinged at level 3 and they exited. "But...you will be something?"  
  
"Maybe...you guys aren't upset by this?"  
  
"Not really...we've kinda always known our parents wouldn't stay married. They were never around each other, and when they were they fought. Mom would always start arguments about you, saying that you and my father were having an affair-"  
  
"That's not true."  
  
"We know. We never believed it was. It was a long time coming...we could see it."  
  
"And you're ok with your father and I?"  
  
Kathleen smiled, "if I had to choose anybody as my step-mother, or even just my fathers girlfriend. It'd be you."  
  
They ate quickly, not wanting to stay down to long, just in case Elliot was to wake up. When they got upstairs, however, he was still sleeping. He woke up every now and then from then until 9:30, when the girls said they would have to leave. Olivia decided to stick around until he woke up again. He finally did at around 10:15.  
  
"Where are the girls?"  
  
"They had to leave a little while ago. They told me to tell you that they love you."  
  
"I never asked where you went earlier."  
  
"The twins didn't tell you?"  
  
He shook his head.  
  
"I had to go do my case report, then I went home for a little bit, I needed to shower."  
  
"Kathy told me that you were gone when they came."  
  
Olivia snorted, "I was lucky she didn't catch me sleeping with you. I had just gotten out of bed and into the restroom when they arrived."  
  
He smiled and reached out to grab her hand, "you look tired."  
  
"I feel tired."  
  
"Come lay with me."  
  
She smiled, "not tonight, El. You need to recover, these beds are small enough as it is...you need all the space you can get. I don't have to be at work until Monday. I'll come by tomorrow to see you...bright and early. Ok?"  
  
"As long as I get a goodbye kiss."  
  
"Elliot..."  
  
"What? It's just one kiss...what harm can it do? It's not like we can take it further at the moment."  
  
Smiling in defeat she leaned over the railing of the bed and kissed him lightly. She pulled away to see a smile mirroring her own on his face, "goodnight, Elliot. Sweet dreams."  
  
"As long as you're in them."  
  
She rolled her eyes at him and left the room. When she got home there was a message on her answering machine. She pushed it aside, she would listen to it in the morning. She was exhausted. She changed into a pair of jogging pants and a tank-top and slid into her bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

* * *

a/n: sorry it took awhile to update, but here ya go. Tell me what'cha think. 


	10. Chapter Ten

How Does it Feel

Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Well, if you don't know by now, then I'll say it again. They're...not...mine.

* * *

"ELLIOT," Olivia woke up in a panic, screaming, and dripping sweat. It took her a moment to catch her breath and her bearings; she'd had yet another nightmare to leave her feeling unnerved. Her body was still trembling as she slid out of the bed and padded across the bedroom floor into the bathroom. She splashed some cold water on her face, in hope of it waking her up and leaving the dream just that, a dream. Though her attempt was a good one, it failed. It seemed that nothing would be getting rid of these dreams, at least for a while.  
  
She decided coffee would be best and quickly made her way into the kitchen, making sure to leave a light on as she walked through the dark hallway...she hated what the last few days had turned her into, a scared, broken woman. It occurred to her that the only night in the past week that she hadn't had a nightmare was the night before, when she had stayed with Elliot in his hospital bed. It looked like she had yet another thing to depend on him for. She wasn't too found of that, either.  
  
As she sipped on her coffee a faint red glow caught her attention, the answering machine. She had forgotten about it. She stared at it a moment, wondering who would have called her home, and upon receiving no answer just left a message instead of calling her cell, which everybody who mattered knew was always on. Maybe it was a tele-marketer; she mused, taking one last sip of her too-strong coffee. Deciding to find out for certain she made the short trip from the kitchen counter she was at to the answering machine just across the room.  
  
She pressed the "play" button and waited for the machine's voice to penetrate the silence; "you have two messages. Message one, received at 10:32 am Thursday,"  
  
"Ms. Benson, this is James Travis with Telecom America, I would like to give you--"  
  
She sighed to herself and pressed the erase button.  
  
"Message erased," came the cold, indifferent voice of the answering machine. "Message two, received at 5:17 PM Thursday,"  
  
"Stay away from my husband," Olivia felt a shiver pass through her body, the voice on the other end was very pissed off, "you hear me, you tramp. Stay away from him. I don't want to see you in his hospital room, I don't want your number on his cell-phone, and I don't want to have to hear him ask where you are one more time. Elliot is mine; you keep your filthy hands off of him, you dirty whore. Don't think for one second that our marriage is over, it's not, and if you come near him again I swear I'll kill you myself."  
  
"End of messages."  
  
Olivia just stood, staring at the phone, her jaw dropped. There was no doubt about it, the message had been left by one Kathy Stabler, but the voice on that machine and the voice that she knew Kathy to use in everyday life was extremely different. Kathy's voice was normally warm, careful, and kind. The voice she heard coming from that machine was dark, raspy, and vengeful, the rage in her voice palpable. It was the voice of a woman scored.  
  
But, she mused, hadn't it been Kathy's idea for the break-up? Hadn't she been the one to take the first steps to divorce by leaving, going to her mothers, and taking the children with her? Then again, wasn't it a woman's prerogative to change her mind? Though, Elliot had told her that there was no way he was going back to his wife, even before admitting his love to her, their marriage had been over for many years. The split-up had been a long time coming.  
  
It was a long while before she shifted positions, the strain of standing on her bare feet for too long becoming a bit annoying. Finally, her own rage started to set in, who was Kathy to tell her what she could or couldn't do? Yes, it was true, she was his wife, but Olivia was his partner! What did Kathy think she could do to keep them apart? They had to see each other, they worked together. Kathy had gone too far with that one. There was nothing she could tell her to keep her from seeing Elliot, she could threaten her life all she wanted, the fact of the matter was Olivia wasn't afraid of Kathy, she had the training to defend herself if need be. And she doubted that Kathy would even consider going through with her threat.  
  
She glanced at the microwave clock; it was only 3:57. She sighed to herself, it was already a bad day and it was only a few minutes shy of four hours into the morning. She erased the threatening message and poured herself another cup of coffee, ignoring the fact that it was way to strong to taste good. She didn't care, the only thing that mattered to her was it was hot, and doing it's job in waking her up. Though it was failing at helping her to forget her dream. She finally excepted nothing was going to help to fade that dream into nothing more than a bad memory.  
  
She sat down on couch, pulling her feet underneath her body, and turned the TV on with the remote. She flipped through channel after channel of infomercials and felt her eyes starting to droop, sleep was once again within arms reach, and she wasn't going to miss the opportunity, bad dreams or no. She muted the television and stretched out on the couch, pulling a maroon afghan over her legs and stomach. It was only minutes before sleep once again took over.  
  
She woke up to the ringing of the telephone, thanking God she hadn't been awoken to another horrible nightmare. She quickly padded across the living room and grabbed her cordless off of it's wall-mount. "Benson," she sighed into the phone.  
  
It was Elliot, "good morning."  
  
"Maybe for you," she snorted.  
  
His voice filled with concern, "what's wrong? Did you have another dream?"  
  
She nodded all though she knew he wouldn't see, "yeah. I don't want to talk about it, Elliot. Did you want something?"  
  
"Just to talk, it's lonely over here. I miss you."  
  
She smiled to herself, "stop being such a sissy-boy. A few hours alone isn't going to hurt you."  
  
"You've got today off, don't you? Come see me."  
  
"Are you sure? Is Kathy coming?"  
  
"What does it matter?"  
  
She sighed, "never mind. Let me shower, I'll be over in a little bit, all right?"  
  
"Sounds good to me, see you then."  
  
She hung up the phone and made her way into the bathroom. Turning it on as hot as she could she undressed and slipped under the water. Her aching muscles were soothed under the pressure; through she could feel a headache threatening to form. She made a mental note to take some Advil after she finished with her shower. When her hands had become too pruny for her liking she turned off the water and quickly grabbed a towel to shield her from the freezing air. When she stepped out of the shower, shivering. The air stung at bare skin and she practically ran into her bedroom to change. After putting on a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and sneakers she took some medicine and started off for the hospital.  
  
Elliot was waiting eagerly when she arrived; his face lit up when she entered the room. "Finally, I've been awake for nearly 3 hours with nobody to talk to."  
  
"Here I was thinking that you were just happy to see me and it turns out that you'd be happy to see anybody."  
  
His face broke out in a grin; one of those she knew was reserved for her and only her, "don't be silly. Of course I'm happy that it's you, who else is gonna give me a good-morning kiss."  
  
"Oh, that's all I'm good for, huh? Good-night and good-morning kisses?" She joked.  
  
"Of course not, there's always good-afternoon," his grin grew as the banter continued on.  
  
"Keep that up and you won't get any kisses, good-morning, good-afternoon, or good-night."  
  
He stuck out his lower lip and folded his arms over his chest, "fine."  
  
She laughed and pulled a chair up next to his bed, "with a face like that how could I resist?"  
  
He shrugged, "it's impossible." She leaned over the railing of the bed and gave him a quick kiss. "That's it?"  
  
She rolled her eyes, "don't get too greedy there, bud."  
  
He threw his hands up in mock defense, "all right, all right, just don't take my kisses away. I don't think I could live without them."  
  
She rolled her eyes at him. "You're lucky I love you."  
  
He took her hand into his and gave it a gentle squeeze; "you don't have to tell me twice. I already know how lucky I am. I love you too."  
  
Neither one of them noticed the very pissed off blonde standing right outside the hospital room, only a slightly cracked open door separating her and the other two, who were too caught up in each other to even notice as she stormed off, headed for the office of Captain Cragean.

* * *

A/n: Since I was asked I tried to get this out quickly, but I'm so, so, so sore from powderpuff practice. My coach is a slave driver, and running is the devil's doing, let me tell you. Anyway...let me know what'cha think. 


	11. Chapter Eleven

How Does it Feel  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Disclaimer: you should know this by now, I don't own them, I don't claim to own them. It'd be nice if I did own them, but that's not reality, now is it?  
  
A/N: Don't you just hate it when parents are in that extremely pissy mood? I know I do...because when you're parents bitch, it's normally coming right at you, isn't it? Lucky for you guys, as a result of getting chewed out for God knows what I have a lot of...frustration I need to let go; and the last place that I want to be is around them, so I'm upstairs in my room with my door locked. And, in order to vent I'm going to write! It gets my mind off of things, ya know? Anyway, so you can thank my parent's for being mean, because otherwise I probably wouldn't be writing this chapter, this way, at this particular moment.  
  
Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Captain Cragean was on the phone when a hurried knock sounded at his door. He called out to whoever was on the other side, since the blinds on his windows and door were down obstructing his view, and told the person to come in. He was shocked, to say the least, when Kathy Stabler--the wife of one of his best detectives, the same one whom was lying in a hospital bed at that exact moment--entered the office in a huff.  
  
"Uh...Lenny, I'll have to get back with you, all right?" He waited for the reply and then hung up the phone.  
  
After hanging up he looked towards his visitor, in confusion. "Mrs. Stabler, is there something I can do for you?"  
  
Her eyes narrowed, and he suddenly took in her appearance. Disheveled wasn't a strong enough word for how she looked. Her eyes were wide with what he imagined was fury, her hair was pulled back haphazardly into a hair tie, and her cheeks were slightly flushed. Oh, man did she look pissed. What the hell had Elliot done to get on her bad side?  
  
She snorted at him, folding her arms across her chest. "You can tell me why the hell I just saw Olivia Benson kiss my husband, then tell her she loved him, for that matter!"  
  
Cragean pulled his head back in shock, that was news to him. He was really at a loss for words; he had no clue what could be going on between Olivia and Elliot... maybe Kathy got things confused. Perhaps she was exaggerating; maybe she had mistaken a chaste kiss, platonic in every way, for something totally opposite? Could she have confused the general meaning behind the 'I love you'? Elliot and Olivia, in fact, worked together for many years, and had been best friends for as long as they knew each other, it could have been completely innocent. Couldn't it?  
  
Ah, whom was he kidding? There was nothing platonic about Olivia and Elliot's feelings for each other, he knew that, they knew that, even Kathy seemed to know it. Of course, he had chosen to ignore the looks the two would give each other, the intense feelings he could see passing between them with just one glance. Then again, so had they. They pretended that there was nothing more between them than just friendship. Of course, he knew that they hadn't done anything, but the feelings were way more than friendly ones. Cragean often wondered that if things had been different, and Elliot had not been married, would they have ended up together long ago?  
  
But what the hell were they doing acting on their feelings for each other? They knew what kind of consequences that would bring forward, damn it! Why were they being so damn stupid? Starting up a relationship is one thing, but starting up a relationship while one of them is still married, was just dumb. And, allowing themselves to be caught (although, not intentionally, he assumed) was just plain idiotic. Holy shit, what kind of mess had they gotten themselves into?  
  
"Excuse me? Have you even been paying attention to a thing that I've said? Hello...I just told you that my husbands partner kissed him!"  
  
Her additude brought him out of his thoughts. "What kind of kiss was it?"  
  
If it was possible, her eyes narrowed on him farther. "What?!?" She practically hissed.  
  
"What...kind...of--"  
  
"I heard the damn question. I want to know why it makes any damn difference what the hell kind of kiss it was. Hello?!? He's married! They're work partners! It's against all sort of rules."  
  
Well, didn't Kathy think she was a smart one? Too bad she was wrong. "Well, Kathy, while I don't condone on what ever it was you think you saw, your word isn't enough proof for me. For all I know you and your husband could be having a fight, and you'd like nothing better than to get him fired, or his partner at that. And, even if you are correct, while I don't think it's smart for them to have a relationship while he is still married to you, I can't really do anything about that, can I? And, as for it being against the rules, it IS frowned upon, but not altogether banned. We can't actually tell anybody who they can be with."  
  
Her mouth dropped, forming an O shape, and she stared at him with a blank expression on her face.  
  
"Is there anything else that I can do for you, Kathy?"  
  
She shook her head in haste, turned, and walked out the door, slamming it behind her. He flinched at the resounding noise it left ringing in his ears, and stood up from his chair and walked into the squad room. Munch and Fin were looking at something through confused eyes, and when he directed his gaze to the direction that theirs was in, he saw that it was Kathy, leaving the station in a huff.  
  
"What was that all about?" Munch asked.  
  
Cragean sighed and shook his head; "Elliot's got himself in hot water."  
  
Fin's interest perked, "oh? How so?"  
  
He held up his right hand, as if to shield their questions, "don't even ask."  
  
"You're the boss."  
  
He snorted and walked back into his office. Picking up his phone he dialed Lenny's number once more. Boy, did he have a story for him.

* * *

Elliot was a little surprised when Cragean knocked at the door to his hospital room, it was still work hours. What was he doing away from the 1-6? He came in, a highly annoyed look on his face, and dropped his jacket on the chair nearest the door. Sighing to himself, he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his pants. He didn't speak, instead glared at him. Elliot wondered what he could have done to upset him.  
  
"Captain? To what do I owe this honor?"  
  
"Not what, whom."  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Your wife dropped by the station today. She had some shocking news for me. It appears that she dropped by this morning to see you, and instead found you and Olivia...kissing."  
  
Elliot could feel his face drop. "Oh."  
  
"Oh is right. Damn it Elliot, you my friend are the biggest idiot on the face of the planet."  
  
Elliot sighed and rubbed his forehead with his left hand, "Cap., Kathy and I are separated, I'd have already filed for divorce except I'm in the hospital."  
  
"That still doesn't mean you can go around kissing whomever you want, Elliot!"  
  
"It was just one kiss, one innocent kiss."  
  
"All I can tell you Elliot, is wait until you're divorced. Ok? I don't you and Kathy having more water under the bridge than you already do. If you are having an affair, she can use that against you in court. You know that. Please, no more stupid mistakes, all right?"  
  
"Wait, you're not mad?"  
  
"Why would I be mad?"  
  
"My partner and I are, for a lack of better words, dating."  
  
"I can't keep you from seeing her."  
  
"Isn't this sort of thing frowned upon?"  
  
"Frowned upon, yes, forbidden, no. I see nothing wrong with it. That's really all that matters, isn't it?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Do me a favor, Elliot. Tell Olivia no more kissing."  
  
"Got'cha. Thanks for the heads up, too. I'll call Olivia tonight, let her know. Why aren't you at work?"  
  
"I met up with Briscoe for lunch, thought I'd drop by and see you."  
  
"Oh, so he knows about this?"  
  
Cragean nodded and looked at his watch. "I should get going, don't want to miss too much of work. Remember what I said, will you?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Good." He grabbed his jacket off of the back of the chair and left the room. Elliot could hear his heavy footfall as he made his way down the hospital corridors.  
  
Sighing to himself he grabbed his cell phone from it's spot on the nightstand. He had to call Olivia.

* * *

A/N: Ok, there you go. Let me know what'cha think about it. 


	12. Chapter Twelve

* * *

How Does it Feel  
  
Chapter 12  
  
Disclaimer: Uh ... ... ... ... ... not mine?

* * *

When Elliot told Olivia about his little chat with Don she wasn't, as some would say, a happy camper. But, she promised him she wouldn't say anything to Kathy. And, she had to be at work the next day anyway. She promised him that she would drop by afterwards, no matter what time it may be.  
  
The doctors told him that he could leave in a week, but it would be months before he would be healed enough to return to work, full-time. They promised him that after a month he would be able to return, but only for desk-duty. He wasn't too thrilled about that word, but it beat the hell out of staying home. He had talked with Cragean after that and he had promised him his job would still be there when he was well enough to return. He and Olivia would stay partners.  
  
Maureen and Kathleen had brought the twins to see him after they got out of school. Elliot was thankful for them taking the two, not their mother. He wasn't sure he wanted to endure the wrath of Kathy lying down with no way of defending himself. When the two older girls told their brother and sister to go off to the cafeteria and get something to eat he knew that something was up. The grave looks that appeared on their faces when the younger kids had left only proved his point further.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Mom came home, ranting and raving. Saying that you and Olivia were having an affair, she was filing for divorce, and would get sole custody. She won't, will she? I mean, she can't take us away from you, right?"  
  
"You're old enough the where it's up to you who you live with, the twins, I don't know. But, as long as you say you want to be able to see me, you'll be able to. You don't have to worry about that."  
  
"She's so mad at you, Dad. I've never seen her like that before. I don't understand it, she's the one who left!"  
  
He sighed, "don't worry, girls. I won't let your mother take you away from me, I promise."  
  
They hugged him and told him they were going off to find the twins, get something to eat. Around five minutes after they left Olivia's head peeked through an open door, she scanned the rooms for signs of Kathy, then smiled at him.  
  
"Hi."  
  
He smiled back, "hey."  
  
She came into the room and pulled a chair next to his bed, "what did Cragean tell you about work?"  
  
"Well, he said that in roughly a month I can come back to work," he chuckled at the look on her face, "but only for desk duty. Then, until my wound heals completely I stay at the desk. It should only be a couple of months, four or five tops. But, at least I get to come back to work...see you everyday."  
  
"Don't turn sappy on me, Stabler."  
  
He laughed. "I'll try."  
  
"So, Kath's mad, huh? Didn't see that one coming."  
  
Elliot snorted. "I'm having the papers filed tomorrow, hopefully the divorce won't take much time, but cop divorces are never easy. It'll be months before it's finally over ... lots of waiting we've gotta do."  
  
She smiled at him, "well, it's a good thing that I love you then, huh? Listen, Elliot, no matter what happens, I'm gonna be here for you. No matter what Kathy throws at you, I'll still be here."  
  
"I know, Liv, I know."

* * *

ONE WEEK LATER  
  
Olivia paced between the soda machines and waiting area, Elliot was getting out of the hospital today, she was taking him to her apartment where he would stay until he got better. Kathy had protested it, but Elliot had calmly told her that there was no other place to stay, and he surely wasn't going to stay at home. They were in the process of a divorce; it made no sense for her to be so possessive. She's the one who wanted it in the first place.  
  
Growing tired of the walking she sat in an uncomfortable plastic hospital chair and chewed on her fingernails, something she rarely did. She'd been waiting for what seemed like forever, enough time to do the piles of paperwork they gave her, and consume three cups of coffee. She looked at her watch for what seemed like the umpteenth time in the past hour, hour and a half, she still had roughly ten minutes left until he would be officially be released from the hospital.  
  
She looked up when she heard footsteps approaching; it was the nurse that had told her to wait in the first place; that had been over an hour prior. The woman sent a faux smile in her direction and just kept on walking. She sighed to herself, looked like she'd have to wait just a little bit longer. Elliot was surely taking a long time to get ready.  
  
The next sound she heard was a wheelchair rolling down the hallway, that was her cue. She looked up to see Elliot being wheeled down the corridor by an older, gray haired nurse. Where they younger, redhead had looked cold and indifferent this nurse smiled at her warmly. Elliot did the same, she imagined he was ready to leave the hospital, it was cold and bland, not much to look at. When they reached her she took over for the nurse, wheeling him into the elevator.  
  
"So," he said when the doors closed, "your place or mine?"  
  
She laughed at him, "well, seeing as you have no place, I think we'll be heading to mine."  
  
"Oh, yeah ... you've got a point there."  
  
She rolled her eyes, "did you call the kids, tell them that I don't mind them stopping by to see you?"  
  
"Yeah, did that last night."  
  
"Good."  
  
"You sure you don't mind?"  
  
"Why would I?"  
  
He shrugged, "I don't know."  
  
The elevator dinged and the doors opened. She steered the chair to where her car was parked and helped him into the passenger seat, folding the chair and putting in into the back. She climbed into the drivers side and looked over at him, "you ready?"  
  
"I've been ready for a month."  
  
She smiled and turned the car on, "you know you're gonna be alone a lot, right? Without you at work Munch, Fin, and I have been packed with stuff, I haven't been home much."  
  
"You haven't gotten a replacement for me yet?"  
  
She looked over at him, "no, she's not coming until next week."  
  
"She?"  
  
She turned her attention back towards the road. "Something wrong with that?"  
  
"Of course not, what's her name?"  
  
"Detective Rachel Peterson. From what I hear she's good."  
  
"Well, hopeful she doesn't get too comfortable."  
  
She looked to him again, "don't worry. You're job is safe."  
  
They were silent for the rest of the ride; Olivia had turned the radio on. When they pulled up in front of her apartment building she got out, fixed his chair, and helped him into it. They rode up the elevator, which she had never actually been in before; it was off limits to those who could take the stairs. When they got into her house Olivia grabbed them each a beer and they sat and turned on the TV.  
  
"I missed this." Elliot said out of the blue.  
  
She looked at him puzzled, "TV?"  
  
He laughed, "no. Beer."  
  
She sighed and shook her head. "Men." When he shot her a look she shrugged it off. "You'll be sleeping in the guest room, I made up the bed last night. There's a walkie-talkie in you're room, and mine, but I'll warn you now, the second you start paging me for something like water every five minutes it's gone. You've got your crutches by your bed, and there's a railing in the bathroom. If you ever need any help, I'm just a room away. Ok?"  
  
"Got'cha."  
  
She took a sip of her bed, "good."  
  
"You're not going to always be so controlling are you?"  
  
"I will be until you get better."  
  
"Great," he sighed, sarcastically.  
  
"Hey, if you wanna be like that you can stay at the hospital until that wound heals."  
  
He seemed to smart up, "all right." He looked at the clock, "you know, I'm a little tired."  
  
She stood up, "let me help you."  
  
She leaned over him, grabbed his shoulders, and pulled. He came easily into he arms and she stumbled a little, but kept her footing. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she wrapped an arm around his waist, holding onto the hand that was draped over her shoulders with her free hand. She had to keep herself from enjoying the situation and focus on helping him. They slowly made their way to the guest bed, occasionally stumbling, but never falling.  
  
She sat him down on the bed as gently as she could; "you don't need help changing do you?"  
  
He shook his head; "I'll need help with the shirt. That's it."  
  
She nodded, "first I should get you something to change into, huh?"  
  
He smiled, "that'd be good."  
  
She searched through his duffel bag and got him something to put on, carrying it over to him. "All right, let's get that shirt off, then." As carefully as she could she grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged upward. He slowly and painfully lifted his arms, allowing the shirt to go over his head. When it was off she couldn't help herself from staring at the bandage on his midsection.  
  
"God, Elliot, I'm so sorry."  
  
"You didn't shoot me."  
  
"But it was my fault."  
  
He shook his head, "no it wasn't. It was George Albertson's fault."  
  
"He wouldn't even be after you if it wasn't for me."  
  
"And, he wouldn't be after you if it wasn't for his brother." He stated as a matter-of-factly.  
  
"That still doesn't keep me from feeling guilty."  
  
He grabbed her hand, "Olivia, please listen to me when I say that none of this was your fault. There was nothing that you could have done to prevent what happened to me, and it's because of you that my daughter is safe. So, don't feel guilty."  
  
"I'll try not to," she replied with a sigh. She picked up the other shirt and told him to raise his arms again. He did and she got the shirt on over his head. "Ok, you've got it from here, right?"  
  
He nodded, "thanks, Liv."  
  
She smiled and kissed him, "night."  
  
"Goodnight."  
  
"I'll see if you need anything before leaving work in the morning, all right?"  
  
"Ok. Hopefully I'll still be asleep."  
  
She laughed and left the room, shutting the door behind her. She quickly padded into her room and changed into a pair of jogging pants and a tank top. She slid under the covers on her bed and sighed in relief. She hadn't been kidding when she told Elliot work had been rough, her muscles ached. As she was drifting off to sleep she could swear she heard Elliot's voice. She picked up the walkie-talkie, "did you say something?"  
  
She heard a soft chuckle, "goodnight, Olivia, I love you."  
  
She smiled sleepily, "I love you too Elliot, now go to bed."  
  
"Fine."  
  
She was asleep in five minutes.

* * *

a/n: let me know what'cha think. 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

How Does it Feel  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Disclaimer: Jus' borrowing 'em for the time being. If somebody's gotta problem with that, sorry. I don't claim them, I'm not making a profit off of them (though, it would be nice if I was ... I'm broke).  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
For the next few weeks work was anything but enjoyable, well as enjoyable as a job such as hers could be, at least. The replacement that they had sent for Elliot was not her favorite. While Rachael Peterson had come with wonderful recommendations-which it hadn't taken long for her to figure out why-her personality needed some working. She was extremely cold, stubborn, and flat out bitchy. And while Olivia understood that a job like hers did not leave one feeling very cheery she couldn't understand why the woman was so hostile. She barely spoke to anybody, and when she did it was only when it was necessary-while working a case or doing paperwork, sometimes even when she was having trouble locating some things in the still unfamiliar stationhouse-or when the Captain appeared. At those times she but on a faux smile, a bad one at that, and pretended to be enjoyable. Olivia couldn't tell if it was fooling the Captain or not, but it wasn't fooling anybody else. Peterson had no problem with letting people know just how much of a bitch she was, it seemed to Olivia she was proud of it.  
  
Peterson didn't seem to like anybody at work, Munch least of all. She was always sneering at his smart-ass remarks, or scowling at something he had said, be it to her or to somebody else. Olivia had caught her cursing him under her breath on more than one occasion, she assumed Munch had as well, because he began doing anything and everything to piss her off further. It was funny, really, her reactions. It always made Olivia's day a little brighter, she enjoyed the laughs.  
  
Another person on Peterson's 'hate list' was Alex. It seemed that she had come into the job with an already bias opinion of the woman. On the second day Peterson worked at the 1-6 she had confessed to Olivia that she had no clue how a lawyer with such a blatant disregard for the rules and procedures could remain the ADA. Olivia had retorted, saying that although Alex had been known to "bend" the rules a bit she only did so in extreme cases, otherwise she had the utmost respect for her work, and followed the rules immensely. Peterson had only snorted in response, Olivia could tell that she had struck some sort of nerve, why Alex was such a touchy subject for the woman Olivia had no clue, nor did she care. Alex was capable of fighting her own battles. But still, she couldn't understand how somebody could form an opinion on somebody they had never met in their life. And, although the petite blonde sometimes got on her nerves, they had still managed to become close friends outside of work.  
  
And, as it turned out, she would have to. Nearly two weeks into the job-just a few days prior-Peterson and Olivia had brought a suspect in for questioning, the Captain, ADA, and Huang watching just behind the glass. Halfway into the interview there was a knock at the door and the detectives went to see just what it was they were needed for. Alex made a suggestion, give the man a deal for his knowledge; the suspect had been nothing more than an errand boy for the man they were going after, Alex wanted the big fish. Peterson disagreed, according to her the man should pay for his crimes in full; the man he worked for's crimes notwithstanding. They got into a heated conversation, words were said, names were flung, and in the end Alex won. The Captain ordered Olivia and Rachael to corporate; offer a deal. That had been Olivia's position all along, she had voiced it for a split-second only to be hushed by the bickering women. Thankfully, the man folded, gave up the information, and the big fish was hooked. He was, at the moment, waiting to be tried for numerous rape-homicides.  
  
The only person that Peterson seemed to get along with was Huang; John had joked that it was because she had a crush on him. Peterson was, in fact, a young, single woman. But, nonetheless, George was a psychologist; he spent his entire career making people happy, or at least satisfied. If they were unhappy, who knows what things could happen, there was that experience he had spoken of where a patient had attacked him. Then again when a man only two hours away from execution saw an opportunity to live, and took it. He had attacked both Huang and Elliot that time, but George had been the one with his head bashed against the wall. So, Olivia doubted that-even if Peterson did have some feelings for Huang-they weren't returned. Personally, Olivia thought that Huang might have a thing for Alex.  
  
So, at that moment, Olivia was busy with paperwork, as was Peterson. Munch and Fin were busy chatting with each other and stuffing their faces. Munch said something that Peterson didn't approve of and her head whipped around, allowing her to glare at him. Munch shrugged it off and went back to talking with his partner. Olivia just shook her head with silent laughter. After a few minutes inquired about Elliot's physical state.  
  
"He's doing better," she answered. "He's gotten over the insomnia, the wound is healing nicely. He can't wait to get back to work, though. He's going crazy being alone."  
  
Peterson looked up at her, a confused look on her face. "How do you know he couldn't sleep?"  
  
Since nobody had spoken of Elliot to her Olivia wasn't surprised at her question. "He's staying at my apartment," she replied with a shrug, "He will be for the duration of his recovery."  
  
"That's a bit unorthodox, don't you think?" She asked, then without giving Olivia time to reply, "It's not exactly professional for your partner to be sleeping at your home."  
  
Munch snickered; "It's not like they can do much, he does have a pretty nasty gun-shot wound to his stomach."  
  
"Besides," Olivia said, "He's in the middle of a divorce."  
  
The confused look had yet to leave her face, "Fraternization isn't exactly something that's encouraged, Olivia. Even if he is in the middle of a divorce it's not exactly wise for him to be staying at your place."  
  
"I really could care less, Rachael," she spit out her name, "and you telling me I should isn't going to change anything."  
  
She seemed to get the hint, "Fine. Screw with your career."  
  
"I think it's Elliot she'd rather screw with," Munch whispered to Fin. Olivia shot him a look.  
  
He threw his hands up in defense, "What?"  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
Things hadn't been running as smoothly for Elliot either. For the first week of recovery he spent at her apartment he was plagued with insomnia. He would wake up at ungodly hours-if he even got to sleep in the first place-and need different things. Something to drink, help getting to the bathroom, even something to eat every now and then. And while this didn't bother Olivia, she was happy to help, it wasn't setting so well with him. He wanted sleep and the troubles were just irritating him. But, on the bright side he was heeling better than the doctors had expect, and although he was already close to healing to the point of return to work for desk duty Cragean was still very adamant in his decision, he had over a week to wait before he could return to working.  
  
Another problem for Elliot was the divorce. While his recovery had been coming along fine the divorce process was just the opposite. Kathy was coming up with all kinds of things, spitting out lies about Olivia and his relationship, trying to make herself look better for the courts. But, she was all talk, no proof. All in all it looked like the divorce would be taking longer than Elliot had initially thought, but Olivia still held true to her word, she could wait as long as it was necessary. Elliot though was having some troubles with the idea.  
  
He wasn't enjoying being alone for hours and hours while Olivia was away at work. Kathleen had come over a few times; Olivia had given her a key so Elliot wouldn't have to get up for the door. They had talked, Kathleen filling him in on the things that were going on with her mother, what she was planning on doing, the new lies she had come up with. Elliot was thankful for the company, but wished he could have more time with his middle child, as well as his other children.  
  
He was currently waiting for Olivia to arrive home from work. By his estimate she would be there within ten minutes, maybe even sooner. And the patient side of him was quickly fading. He was bored, lonely, you name it he felt it. He was halfheartedly attempting to pace, but his side was bothering him so he had to sit back down. The TV was an unwelcome distraction, too many hours of watching it turned it boring. He had experimented with making dinner for her, but he wasn't sure how well it had turned out, his wound had begun to act up so he had to rush. It was the thought that count, though, so he figured she'd at least pretend to enjoy it.  
  
Another fifteen minutes of anxiously waiting and the sound of keys clanging caught his attention. She was home, finally. He stood, awkwardly, to greet her. When she entered the apartment she smiled at him and told him to sit back down, he'd hurt himself. He was thankful for the order; just standing was something that he needed to continue working on. For once he was thankful that it was only desk duty he'd be return to in a little over a week.  
  
"Did you make something?" She questioned as she sat her things down on the dinning room table. "It smells delicious. What is it?"  
  
"Fettuccini Alfredo ... with chicken. I'm not sure how good it is though, I'm not exactly the best at cooking."  
  
"Well, at least you tried. I'm starving. You want me to make you a plate?"  
  
He nodded, "I'll make the drinks."  
  
She shook her head, "You stay put, I don't want you hurting yourself any further. Lord knows that if I have to spend any more time with that woman than is necessary I think I'll loose my mind. Munch and Fin have helped me keep my sanity, but you'd be a much bigger help."  
  
He smiled, "You can tell me all about it over dinner."  
  
"Oh," she said with a chuckle, "I'd already planned on it."  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
A/N: Yeah, I know, it's taken a little longer than normal for me to get the next chapter out, but school had been taking up a lot of time, and powderpuff has taken up the rest. I had a huge project due today, thankfully finished it. And, on top of that I have two very important papers due on Monday. One, 8 pages long (typed, no less) for Psychology. And another roughly 5 pages long, an essay for English II. I'll try my best to write whenever possible. But, I can't make any promises. Anyway, tell me what'cha think. 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

How Does it Feel  
  
Chapter 14  
  
Disclaimer: Ya know what, I'm still broke and I still don't own 'em. It's sad, isn't it?  
  
XXXXXXXXXX  
  
11 days later:  
  
Elliot sat in the living room, on the couch, his head resting against the back, eyes closed. Oh, boy was he tired. He knew there was a reason he wasn't too thrilled about starting work again last night, and this was it. Exhausted didn't even begin to describe it, he should have gone to sleep earlier.  
  
"You almost done?" He called out to Olivia; he'd been waiting for over 15 minutes for her to finish getting ready for work, 15 minutes well spent resting.  
  
"Just a sec!" She called from her bedroom, like promised a few seconds later he could hear her shoes click on the hardwood floor and opened his eyes, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. She walked into the living room and grabbed her keys from the coffee table, looking at him expectantly. "Ok, I'm ready. Are you?"  
  
"Have been for 15 minutes."  
  
"Then get your lazy ass off of the sofa and let's get going," she said, walking towards the door.  
  
"Hey, who's the one with the gunshot wound here?" He called after her, standing slowly.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot, since you're crippled that means you can't get your lazy ass off of the sofa?"  
  
"Ha, ha." He replied sarcastically, following her out the door. The rode down the elevator and then got into her car, Elliot riding shotgun. He wouldn't be able to drive for almost another month.  
  
They talked little while driving to the 1-6, words weren't needed. She knew how anxious he was to get out of her apartment and actually interact with others. Not that it was a bad thing, her company, but it was minimal, and he had nothing at all to do while she was working.  
  
When they got to work Cragean showed Elliot to his desk, which was by Munch and Fin's but a bit of a ways off from Olivia's. Great, he thought as he sat down, I'll get to listen to those two bitch to each other all day.  
  
Cragean seemed to notice his hesitance to take the desk, because he smiled at him as if he planned it that way. Elliot could only glare and start on his paperwork. Which was bad in and of itself, but later on he'd probably be working the phones, which he loathed even more than writing and filing all of that paperwork. Today he was not a people person.  
  
It only took him 10 minutes on the job to realize why Olivia had been coming home in such a bad mood for the past month or so. Her new partner, the temporary replacement for himself, was a bitch to say the least. The first thing she did when Olivia sat down was snap at her, asking where the paperwork she had been working on the day before was. Olivia kind of looked at her like she was the biggest idiot on the planet and told her she had filed it before she left work. It seemed to shut the woman up. Munch and Fin snickered, and Peterson glared at them.  
  
He found out quickly that she (Peterson) wasn't too fond of him. Olivia had told him the horror stories about her arguments with Alex, and the ongoing battle between her and Munch, but he never expected to be on the receiving end of the attitude. He was, in fact, the reason that she was there in the first place. If he hadn't been shot she wouldn't be working at the moment. Maybe that was the reason; she blamed him for having to work with the sex police.  
  
She really didn't say much to him, as much as give him the dirtiest looks imaginable. And, during lunch break when Munch and Fin had gone off to eat together and Olivia had gone to grab him something she sat down by him and started up a conversation. It started off in a bad way.  
  
"So, Benson tells me that you are staying at her place," she said, as if implying something.  
  
"Yes," he replied. "I am staying at Olivia's apartment until I am well enough to live alone. I am going through a divorce at the moment, so I can't go home, Munch is the last person that I would ever stay with and Fin, well he's the second to last person. So, yeah, since I really had no other place to go I'm staying with my partner, who happens to be my best friend as well. And, if you're implying that there is something going on between Olivia and I, there's nothing to say that we can't, and the last thing I'm capable right now is anything romantic. So, if there were going to be any other probing questions after that bad attempt at an idle conversation I hope I've answered them, because that's all I'm going to say." He turned back to his paperwork, leaving her sitting there, awestruck.  
  
She snorted at him and got up, leaving the room heading where he figured was to get lunch. He shrugged to himself and went back to what he had been doing. A minute or so later Olivia walked in and pulled a chair next to his desk, dropping his sandwich on top of his paperwork. "Hot ham and cheese."  
  
"That's something different," he said unwrapping it.  
  
"It's good, you'll like it." She handed him his soda and took a sip of her own, "So. I hear that you and Peterson had an interesting conversation."  
  
"Wow," he said, "news travels fast around here."  
  
She shrugged, "Not much personal drama around here. Most of the time everything is case related, people like the distraction."  
  
"I can buy that." He took a bite of his sandwich, "This is good."  
  
"Don't chew with your mouth open," she scolded, smiling.  
  
He finished chewing, then swallowed. "Yes, ma'am!" He said, saluting her.  
  
She just rolled her eyes.  
  
XXXXXXXXXX  
  
His first day back hadn't been too much of a disaster, she decided. Besides that one incident at lunch Peterson had stayed out of his way, as well as Olivia's. The four had to leave him when they were called to a case, and when they got back he was up to his ears in paperwork and answering the phone every two minutes. She felt bad for him, she knew that wasn't fun.  
  
The drive home was the total opposite from the drive to work. Whereas then they had tried to keep the conversation alive while she drove back to her apartment they were silent, but it wasn't an awkward silence, it was an appreciated silence. He was tired from hearing people complain in phone call after phone call and she was tired of hearing Peterson complain as they traveled from destination to destination.  
  
They picked up Chinese food before heading home for good. As she pulled into her parking space she saw him grimace, "You ok?"  
  
He sighed, he had obviously thought she hadn't been looking. "I'm fine."  
  
"You don't look fine."  
  
He didn't answer her; instead he grabbed the bag of food and opened the passengers' side door. But, she was quicker than him and already standing by the door waiting when he finally got out.  
  
"If you still hurt this badly, Elliot, then you shouldn't be working. Maybe you should stay home for another week or two, give your wound some more time to heal up."  
  
"I'm fine," he told her through gritted teeth.  
  
"And I can spot a lie when I hear one, El. God, anybody could look at you and see that you still hurt."  
  
"I'm going to hurt for a long time Olivia. If I stayed here until I was better I wouldn't be back at work for months, I can't do that. I'll be fine, ok?"  
  
She sighed, she wanted to win the argument, but in the end it was his decision if he wanted to work or not. The doctor had said that he was well enough to return for desk duty, but to be cautious, and so far he was doing just that. But, as she watched him struggle to the elevator she couldn't help but reach out and grab his arm, helping him walk. He glared at her, grunting, but said nothing about it.  
  
He took his painkillers as soon as he got into the apartment, then the two sat down for dinner. They didn't say much, he asked her about her case and she asked him about the paperwork but the conversation was a halfhearted one.  
  
When they were done with dinner she helped him to the couch, he protested at first, but she told him that the less strain he put on the wound the quicker it would heal. He still did most of the work, but he allowed her to help out when she thought it was necessary. They watched TV in relative silence, only talking when commercials came on. At 15 till twelve she said she was going to hit the hay, and he should to.  
  
He agreed and she helped him into the bedroom, then helped him with redressing his wound. As she was about to leave to go to bed he called out to her.  
  
"Are you mad at me?" He wanted to know.  
  
She shook her head, "Of course not, why?"  
  
"You haven't even so much as mentioned our "relationship" in over a week, I was just wondering if you were having second thoughts."  
  
She walked back into the room and sat down on the foot of the guest bed, "Why would I be having second thoughts?"  
  
He shrugged, "I was just curious."  
  
She sighed, "It's just the whole divorce thing is just starting and it's going to take a very long time until it's over with. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize it, so I'm trying to keep myself from doing something ... well, stupid."  
  
"It's not like anything that "stupid" is even a possibility right now." He thought for a moment, "Well, it would be possible, but pretty painful on my part."  
  
She smiled, "Goodnight, Elliot." She leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips. When she broke apart he had a cheesy grin on his face. "That answer your questions?"  
  
He nodded, "Goodnight, Liv."  
  
XXXXXXXXXX  
  
A/N: I know, I know, it's taken forever to get this out. But, not my fault! The computer that has our Internet access on it screwed up and was being fixed and so I couldn't post anything! But, I worked on my stories from my computer, just so I could post it as soon as we got our computer back. Anyway, let me know what'cha think. 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

How Does it Feel?  
  
Chapter 15  
  
Disclaimer: Yeah, so I admit it. They're not mine.  
  
XXXX  
  
Her buzzer rang early that morning and she was tempted to just let whoever it was wait out on the street, it was warm in her bed, she didn't want to wake up. But, when she head Maureen's voice over the intercom she slid from under her warm covers and was greeted by cold air. Shivering she grabbed her housecoat and buzzed her up, then waited at the door for her.  
  
By the time she was inside Elliot had come limping out of the guestroom and was leaning on the wall in the hallway. "What's up?" He asked, folding his arms across his chest.  
  
"It's mom," Maureen began, "she left."  
  
He unfolded his arms and stood up straight, "She left where?"  
  
She shook her head, chewing on her bottom lip. "I honestly don't know, dad. Kathleen called me at school, she was in hysterics. She told me that mom had confessed to her that she had started seeing another man. He wanted her to go away with him, so she went. Kathleen says that her words were, and I quote, 'if your father wants you so much, let him have you.' Apparently, she packed her things up and left in the passenger's seat of a BMW. So, they're stuck at Grandma's right now, confused and upset. Grandma doesn't even know what's going on, and she's too old to take care of Dickey and Lizzie."  
  
Elliot stepped forward, into the living room. "That's it? She's gone? She didn't give you an explanation, a reason why she felt compelled to leave with this ...man?"  
  
She shook her head again, "Daddy, we're as confused as you are."  
  
"This isn't like Kathy," he muttered to himself, "something else is going on here."  
  
"Kathleen said that there was a huge diamond on her hand ... daddy, I think that they left to get married."  
  
"But how?" He asked, "Our divorce isn't final yet."  
  
She pulled some papers out of her bag, "Mom gave these to Kathleen." She shoved them at him and he took them with hesitance.  
  
"Divorce papers?" He said after he had finished reading them, "They're signed."  
  
"There's a letter there, too." Maureen told him, walking to the sofa and sitting on it. "I didn't read it."  
  
Elliot held the letter in his hands, confused. He tore at the envelope, walking into the living room to sit on the sofa next to his daughter. She frowned at him and looked away, at Olivia. Elliot pulled the piece of paper from its holding place and unfolded it.  
  
His anger rose as he read it.  
  
_Elliot,  
  
You win. I'm through with it, I'm through with the divorce, with listening to MY children ask when they're going to see daddy and his new bitch, I'm through with waiting around for you to come back to your senses. I'm done; you get what you've always wanted. Your family and that slut, so are you happy now? I am, you can bet your ass I am. Don't get me wrong, I love my children, but there's only so many things that I can take. I'm tired of listening to Olivia this and Olivia that. She's not as perfect as you all think she is, in time you'll see, and you'll come crawling back to me. But, guess what? I won't let you back, we're over Elliot, for good. There's not going to be any second chances. So, I signed the papers, you can have everything. The house is yours, the car is yours, the kids are yours. I'm not going to stand in your way any longer, I have a chance at being happy, I'm going to take it.  
  
Goodbye Elliot. Forever.  
_  
He crumpled the paper in his hands and threw it at the ground, "Shit."  
  
"What?" Olivia asked, coming to the couch that the two were sitting on.  
  
"How could she be so selfish? They're here children too, damn it! She can't just leave them."  
  
"So, she is gone?" Maureen asked, "Kathleen wasn't mistaken? She's not coming back?"  
  
Elliot could see the hurt flash in her eyes, but she kept her composure. She wasn't going to allow herself to break down. "Yeah, baby. She's gone."  
  
Maureen sat back on the couch, a look of disbelief dancing in her eyes. "It doesn't make any sense," she said, to her self mostly. "Why would she just leave? That's not like mom, not at all."  
  
Elliot shook his head, "I don't know, hon. Maybe she'll call."  
  
She stared straight ahead, looking at Olivia's entertainment center. "Dad, I'm worried about Grandma. She can't watch Dickey, Elizabeth, and Kathleen all by herself. She's not well enough; she's just getting over a minor stroke. Mom should have thought about that, Grandma's not capable of watching three children." She folded her arms across her chest, still staring ahead.  
  
"They can stay here," Olivia said, earning looks from the other two. "My apartment's not big or anything, it will be crowded, but my couch pulls out into a bed. I don't mind sleeping on it, the girls can sleep in my room, and Dickey could sleep with his father. There's two bathrooms, one for the girls, one for the boys." She shrugged, "It would work, at least until Elliot heals enough to go back to the house."  
  
He shook his head; "We sold the house. An apartment maybe, or another house, but somebody's already bought the old home."  
  
"Are they ok to stay with your grandmother tonight?" Olivia asked.  
  
Maureen nodded, "I'll go over there now, let them know of the situation, get them packed up. I don't have any classes tomorrow, so I can help them bring their things over here while you two work. If you don't mind, that is."  
  
"Of course not," she told her. "Let me get you a key." She got up from the couch and went searching around the kitchen for her spare key. She found it, handed it to Maureen, and told her she could call her if she needed anything. Maureen said she would and left for her grandmother's house.  
  
When she was gone Olivia turned on the television, but barely paid attention to it.  
  
"You didn't have to do that," Elliot told her.  
  
"I know," she replied. "I wanted to, your kids are wonderful, they don't deserve to be dropped off at their grandmother's while their mother goes off with a strange man.... How are you dealing with all of this, anyway? It must be shocking."  
  
"Shocking isn't a strong enough word," he sighed. "I never figured Kathy as the type of person who would do this. But, I admit, I didn't leave her in the best situation... although she was the one who left me. To tell you the truth, I'm really confused with the whole situation. I guess I really never knew my wife as well as I thought I did."  
  
XXXX  
  
The next day was a quick one, Olivia and Peterson went off on another case leaving Elliot at the 1-6 to answer phones and do paperwork. She still felt guilty for doing so, but there was nothing she could do about it. It would still be months before he would be well enough to return to full-time duty. It was horrible, the jealous look he would get in his eyes when she would leave.  
  
Munch and Peterson got into another...disagreement during lunch. Olivia wasn't even sure what it was about, but she knew Munch had decided that whatever Peterson thought he would think the opposite, just so that an argument would occur. He was such a child.  
  
Speaking of children, when Olivia and Elliot got home they were greeted by two 11 year olds, Dickey and Elizabeth. Olivia showed them the rooms they would be staying in and they took their things to them. Kathleen was in the kitchen the whole time, making dinner Olivia figured.  
  
Which, it turned out, was correct. Kathleen was a great cook, and to show her appreciation to Olivia for letting them stay with her and their father she made lemon pepper chicken.  
  
"You really didn't have to do this," Olivia told her for the tenth time as she sat down at her table with Elliot and the kids. "Really, I could have ordered out."  
  
"Don't be silly," Kathleen told her, "It's the least I could do. I haven't stayed the night with my father since he and my mother separated. I've missed him very much." She looked at the twins, "We all have."  
  
Olivia nodded, "Have you heard from your mother?"  
  
Kathleen shook her head, "Not yet."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Yeah," she sighed, "me too."  
  
Lizzie and Dickey stayed silent, eating slowly. Olivia figured it would take them time to open up to her, maybe they were shy.  
  
The rest of the night went by slowly, the five of them watched television before the kids had to go to bed for school the next day, leaving Olivia and Elliot up to talk. "So," she asked, "Kathleen is taking Dickey and Lizzie to school tomorrow. Right?"  
  
He nodded, taking her hand in his and pulling her closer. "Thank you, Liv." He kissed her gently.  
  
She smiled, "You're welcome. And, I have to say, if you keep thanking me like that I might do nice things more often."  
  
"Works for me," he told her, then kissed her again.  
  
She stopped him before he kissed her for the third time, "Now, Elliot. You're still not healed yet."  
  
"I know," he told her, kissing her deeper than the other two times.  
  
She pulled back, "Not yet."  
  
"Aw, come on," he said playfully, pulling her closer.  
  
"Elliot," she scolded him under her breath. "Your children!"  
  
"Oh," he sighed. "I forgot."  
  
"How?" She asked, "You thanking me for them staying is how this started."  
  
"Oh, yeah." He smiled, "What can I say, my mind was on other things."  
  
"Yeah, sure." She told him, "Your mind."  
  
He laughed and let her out of his embrace, "I should get to sleep."  
  
"Yes, you should."  
  
He kissed her one last time, "Goodnight, Liv."  
  
"Night, El."  
  
He stood up slowly, but she noticed that this time he wasn't wincing. He was getting better. As he walked to the guestroom he was staying in she pulled out the sofa bed, then made it. Ten minutes later she was dozing off, the sounds of two young girls giggling coming from her bedroom. She smiled to herself, it was going to be an interesting couple of weeks.  
  
XXXX  
  
A/N: Yeah, so not the best. It'll start getting better and picking up soon. I think I'm going to skip ahead a few weeks or so, 'cos right now it's kinda boring. Anyway, review please! 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

How Does it Feel?  
  
Chapter Sixteen  
  
Disclaimer: I haven't claimed them this far, have I? So ... why would I now?

A/N: Oh, my gosh. Today is our powderpuff game! Pray for us!! Please!  
  
XXXX  
  
It was a little bit more hectic in the mornings, now that the kids were staying at her house as well as their father. She had to share her bathroom (not to mention, sleep on the very uncomfortable couch bed), with the a teenager and a pre-teen who was on her way to becoming just like her older sister. So, Olivia started to wake up earlier, that way she could shower, dress, and blow dry her hair by the time Kathleen got up, who would do the same routine before her younger sister, Elizabeth woke up. Meanwhile, Olivia would go back into the living room and catch about 45 minutes of extra sleep.  
  
Elliot was still having some troubles with getting ready, but since he had his son to help out it didn't take him as long to get dressed. Dickey, who was 12 and nearly as tall as Olivia, had no problem helping his father out, although he did make it known he wasn't fond of the task.  
  
Detective Racheal Peterson had only become more bitchy with time. Olivia did her best to ignore the woman, but seeing as she was her partner for the better part of three months, that was very hard and completely impossible. But, she had managed to only speak with her during investigations, or when Cragen called them into his office.  
  
It had been a week after Maureen showed up with the note from Kathy and still nobody had heard from her, not even her parents. Elliot was worried, she could tell, but he said nothing to indicate it. She would just catch him from time to time, deep in thought, and when she would ask he would push her aside. She didn't blame him for wondering, she just wished that he would talk with her about it.  
  
It was nearing noon, on a Monday, and she was getting anxious to get away for an hour, or even just half an hour, and go out with Elliot, Munch, and Fin for something to eat. As the minutes ticked by she stared down at the papers on her desk, she should probably work on them while she was waiting, but she was starting to get a headache and the letters were beginning to blur together. She had been concentrating on them for too long, she needed a break.  
  
Finally, when she glanced at the clock again, it was 3 minutes after 12. She looked over at Elliot, he understood and slowly stood, unsuccessful in hiding the wince on his face. John and Fin noticed him standing and looked over at her, when they saw she too had stood they followed suit. Peterson just looked around, confused by the whole situation.  
  
"Lunch time," Fin said, noticing her confusion.  
  
She just looked back at her papers and snorted. He began to say anything but Olivia gave him a look and he let it go. They gathered their things and headed out for lunch.  
  
"So," Munch said as soon as they sat down in a booth, "you heard from Kathy?"  
  
Elliot shook his head; "I'd rather not talk about that right now."  
  
He held his hands up in defense, "I understand. My ex-wives aren't really my favorite topic of discussion, either."  
  
"That's probably because you can't remember which one is which," Fin joked.  
  
Their waiter came by, they all ordered cokes, with Olivia being the exception, getting a sprite. While they waited for their drinks they chatted about ongoing cases, and Elliot's less-interesting desk duty. The waiter came back, with their drinks, and they ordered their lunch.  
  
When it neared 1 they paid and left, since they had walked there they walked back. They got to work five minutes before one; Peterson was already at her desk, writing. She looked up when they entered, said nothing, and went right back to work. She didn't speak for the rest of the day.  
  
When Olivia and Elliot were getting ready to leave Cragen called them into his office. Neither of them were sure what was going on, as far as they knew they hadn't done anything to piss him off, and there would be no reason to talk to the both of them about a case.  
  
"What'd ya do?" Fin asked when he retreated into his office, after asking for them.  
  
"Don't know," Elliot shrugged. They walked into his office and sat down, "What's up, Cap?" He asked.  
  
He sighed, "It's about your ... relationship."  
  
Olivia tensed immediately, "What about it?"  
  
"It's nothing that major, but we do have a complaint about your behavior."  
  
"A complaint?" Elliot asked, "How, who?"  
  
"Don't get too worried about it, no report is going to be filed, there isn't any proof to back up this persons complaint."  
  
"Peterson," Olivia growled. "She made the complaint, didn't she Captain?"  
  
He sighed, but nodded. "Yes, it was Peterson."  
  
"This is bullshit, Captain." Elliot said, "We've made sure that we've not acted any different at work than we use to, how could she possibly complain about anything?"  
  
He shrugged, "Truth be told, Elliot, I think she's just pissed that nobody around here gives a damn about her."  
  
"Well, off the record, Captain, but if she wasn't such a bitch to us maybe that would change." Olivia told him, "She doesn't give us any reason to respect her."  
  
"That may be true," he said, "but, just in case, be extra careful around her."  
  
"Right," Elliot said with a sigh, "how much longer until I can work again?"  
  
"That's up to you, Elliot. The faster you heal, the sooner you get off of desk duty."  
  
He dismissed them and they left the office, Munch, Fin, and Peterson had all gone by then. They drove home, Kathleen had cooked again, so the two of them ate and then they watched television with Dickey, Elizabeth, and Kathleen. It was a Monday, so 7th Heaven was on, Kathleen and Lizzie picked the show. Dickey sat through the one-hour program looking absolutely bored, and when Olivia looked over at Elliot she noticed the same look on his face. She held back a giggle and turned back to the TV.  
  
Olivia and Elliot stayed up after Dickey and the girls went off to bed, to talk. Olivia sat on the couch, her feet pulled under her legs, an elbow resting on the couch with her head resting on her hand. "What are we going to do about this, Elliot?" She asked with a sigh.  
  
"We haven't done anything wrong, I don't know what we can do other than what we've been doing already. Peterson is just trying to push our buttons, she knows that this is the best way to do that. Nothing more, nothing less."  
  
She grunted, "Well, she's certainly pushed a couple of my buttons."  
  
"Don't let her get to you, Liv." He said, pulling her closer to him, "That's what she wants."  
  
"I'll try," she sighed, settling into his arms as carefully as she could. "How's your stomach?" She asked, slowly drifting off to sleep.  
  
"It's fine, Liv," he reassured her, kissing her on the forehead. "You tired?"  
  
"Mmm," she mumbled sleepily. "I'm fine."  
  
He chuckled at her, "No, you're about to fall asleep on me. And, while I'm not complaining, I'm sure I haven't healed to the point where that wouldn't cause problems."  
  
She smiled at him and fought to keep her eyelids open, he was right, she was exhausted. She hadn't really been sleeping that well; the couch bed was less than comfortable.  
  
"I'll help you get the couch bed ready, then I'll let you sleep."  
  
She yawned and, making sure not to cause him pain, pulled out of his embrace and got off of the couch. Then, she helped him off the couch and they got the bed ready, she had left the sheets on it from the night before so it didn't take long. When he turned to go to the room he and Dickey were sharing she called out to him.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Don't go," she asked, getting into the bed. "Stay out here with me. I'll sleep better."  
  
He smiled, "All right." He crawled into the bed with her and she scooted up close to him.  
  
He wrapped an arm around her waist, protectively, and started to drift off to sleep. After a couple of minutes she turned around, facing him, and snuggled closer. He kissed her goodnight and she smiled. She fell asleep shortly after that, still smiling.  
  
XXXX  
  
A/N: Ok, so sappy ending. Yeah, I know. Couldn't help it, too much of a shipper. Anyway, let me know what'cha think.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

How Does it Feel?  
  
Chapter Seventeen  
  
Disclaimer: I wish that they were, but oh well, they're not.  
  
XXXX  
  
2 months later:  
  
"Do we have the file on Travis Hickam?" Olivia asked, sitting in her chair, looking around at the other three detectives around her, Elliot excluded.  
  
"I've got it," Fin replied, handing the file over. Olivia took the file and then busied herself in it, engrossed in the task at hand. The file covered most of her face, Elliot watched her as her eyebrows furrowed, wrinkles in her forehead being produced as a result, he could imagine her chewing on her lower lip, like she always did when she was thinking about a case. He smiled to himself, despite the situation, then went back to work.  
  
Across from Olivia Peterson sat hunched over, writing hurriedly. Elliot hated to admit it, but although she wasn't the easiest person to get along with she was a damned good cop, even for being on the SVU. He imagined that she was so bitchy because she was afraid that if she let others in she wouldn't be as efficient at her work, he once thought like that, before he met Olivia.  
  
At the other facing tables Munch and Fin sat much like Olivia and Peterson, Munch was leaned back in his chair reading the case file and Fin was slumped over his desk writing. Elliot, himself, was writing, though he had to remain sitting straight because of his healing stomach wound.  
  
They worked that way for about half an hour before Olivia and Peterson went off for an interview with Hickam's roommate, in hopes of breaking his alibi. Not even fifteen minutes later Munch and Fin left to start yet another case, Elliot was once again left alone, answering phones and doing more paperwork.  
  
Munch and Fin got back first, went right to work, then left forty-five minutes later for another interview. Only ten minutes after they left Olivia and Peterson came back, looking a little worse for wear. When Elliot asked what had happened Olivia gave him the short version, they went to speak with Hickam after talking with his roommate (who had broke, admitting he had lied for his friend), Hickam decided to take his chances and see who could run faster, him or Olivia and Peterson. So, she told him, the chased him down 23rd street to the beginning of 28th, where they finally apprehended him. He was, at the moment, being processed for assaulting an officer. When Elliot inquired as to which officer he had assaulted Peterson turned around so her back was facing him and pulled up her shirt, showing a large, purple knot where he had kicked her. Turning back around she shrugged, wincing a bit, and slowly sat in her chair to start on paperwork; they would be interviewing Hickam in half an hour.  
  
Like clockwork half an hour later they left to the interview room, noisy and bored as Elliot was he stood and followed, watching from the other side of the mirror.  
  
He figured they were playing good-cop, bad-cop, because Peterson spoke to him first, showing no sings of the pain he had seen in her eyes when the two walked in thirty minutes prior. She informed him of his roommates confession, and told him that as soon as they got a court-order they would be taking his DNA, the next rape he experienced would be his own in Sing-Sing. Getting no response from him she let Olivia take over and left the room.  
  
Olivia sat down in a chair next to Rotherson and began the "good-cop" part of the interrogation. Elliot was a little disappointed at first, he much rather enjoyed watching when Olivia was the "bad-cop". But five minutes into the interrogation he learned that this wasn't the "good-cop, bad-cop" strategy. It was the "bad-cop, worse-cop" one. It wasn't long before Olivia had Rotherson (who was a good three or four inches taller than her) pinned against a wall, shouting and cursing, though holding back any harm she wanted to inflict on him, no punches were thrown. Cragen told him to get her out of there before anything worse happened so he entered the interrogation room and pulled her away from Rotherson, dragging her out of the room with him.  
  
"Is Cabot back with the warrant yet?" Was the first thing she asked (rather snapped) when he placed her into a chair to cool down.  
  
"Not yet," he told her, "calm down, k?"  
  
She huffed and folded her arms across her chest, "I tried the nice way," she said, "I just got a little impatient. It's not like you haven't done worse."  
  
"You're right," he said, pulling up a chair for himself and sitting backwards in it. "But we weren't sure how long it would be before you started to hit him, Cragen told me to get you out of there, I did as told."  
  
She didn't say anything and looked at something past his shoulder, the door he figured. He sighed and stood up, pushing his chair back where it came from, then stood in front of her. "I think you should wait for Cabot before going back into there, I'm sure Cragen feels the same way. I'll call her and tell her to hurry, alright?"  
  
She nodded and he pulled out his cell, dialed the blonde's number, and waited for her to pick up. She answered after the third ring, "This is Alex."  
  
"You got that warrant for Rotherson's DNA yet?" He asked, looking at Olivia.  
  
"Yeah, I'm almost at the station, give me about 5 minutes or so."  
  
"Ok, we'll be waiting." He hung up, "She's close by, be here in about five minutes, can you wait that long?"  
  
She shrugged, "Maybe."  
  
"What's wrong, Olivia?"  
  
She pursed her lips together and sighed. "How do you do it?"  
  
He got the chair again, and sat in it. "Do what?"  
  
"Deal with these horrible cases day after day then go home to the kids? I mean, it's only been a couple of months since they moved into my apartment but I already don't understand how you could possibly separate work from home, every time I look at them I see potential victims, somebody whose case I could someday be investigating. Like with this Case, Rotherson's, he raped and killed a 21 year old girl, Elliot she looked so much like Maureen it scared me, and I'm not even around her as much as I am the others. What happens when it's a 16-year-old girl, or an 11-year-old girl or boy? What if they look like Kathleen, Dickey, or Elizabeth? How am I going to deal with that? I had to keep myself from killing that guy in there because all I could think was the horrible things he would do to Maureen if he had the chance." She took a deep breath and looked down at her lap, her eyes open wide, in an attempt to keep the tears forming from falling. She was successful, and looked back up at Elliot. "I don't know how you could stay on this job for so many years, how can you see all of these and go home and pretend like it didn't happen?"  
  
"I don't," he said, "I mean, I can't really keep work at work and home at home, it's impossible. I see the same exact thing when I look at the girls and Dickey that you do, but I've learned to look past that. It wasn't easy and it took a lot of time but I'm able to see them, not potential victims. There's no way I could pretend like what happens at work isn't going to effect what happens at home, because I know it does, I just try not to let them into that life. You'll figure it out, I promise."  
  
"I hope so," she said, taking his hand into hers. "This is so hard."  
  
"Who ever said it would be easy?"  
  
She shook her head, "I guess I figured it wouldn't be this hard, you know, I thought it would be easier. I finally had something to be happy about so things would get easier for me, guess things just don't work out that way, huh?"  
  
"Guess not," he squeezed her hand gently. "Hey, how about-"  
  
She looked past his shoulder again, he turned to see what she was looking at, it was Alex. He let her hand go and stood from his chair, then helped her out of hers.  
  
Peterson got the warrant and read over it, then handed it to ME Warner who had been waiting with her. Since they had found blood that wasn't the victims at the scene she would have to take his, along with a hair to match with the one they found, and a DNA sample to match the fluids left in the young girl. They had a long night of waiting ahead of them.  
  
XXXX  
  
It was nearly midnight; everybody was still sitting at his or her desk, waiting. Fin and Munch had gone home, though, since they were working a different case. Cragen was sitting at Munch's desk, a cup of old coffee in his hands. Cabot was sitting in Fin's desk, tapping her fingernails against the top of it.  
  
When the elevator dinged everybody looked up at expectantly, waiting for the doors to open. When they finally did Warner stepped out, files in hand, and quickly walked to the five people who had been waiting for her. She handed the files to Cragen who read them over, a look of relief washing over his face.  
  
"We got him," he said, setting the file down on the desk. "A match on everything," he looked at Alex, "add the rape and murder charges to his assault charge. Mr. Rotherson is going to be spending more time with us than originally planned."  
  
Fifteen minutes later Elliot and Olivia were getting into her car, exhausted after working for nearly 16 hours straight. The drive to her apartment was quick and when they got there the kids had already gone off to bed, a note saying goodnight to them on the dining room table.  
  
Since Olivia's clothes were in the room that the girls were sleeping in and Elliot's where in the room Dickey was asleep in they decided that they would just sleep in their work clothes, on the pull-out bed of the sofa. Olivia let Elliot get into the bed first, since his stomach had still been causing him a little pain, then crawled in after him.  
  
"It's a good feeling," she told him. "Getting somebody like Rotherson off the streets."  
  
"I know," he said, settling into the bed.  
  
"Of course, it always was," she added, turning to face him. "But, it's different now, I think."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"Well, before when we put somebody away I just thought that they would never be able to hurt another person. Now I think that they'll never be able to hurt the kids, I guess since I've got a face on the ones who he'll never be able to hurt it makes the accomplishment more real." She scooted closer to him, without hitting his stomach. "Is that how you deal with it? Thinking that if the rapist or child abuser whose case your working goes to prison they can never touch your children?"  
  
He nodded, "You're catching on quicker than I thought."  
  
She smiled and rested her head against his chest, sighing sleepily. Wrapping his arms around her he pulled her close, even though his wound still hurt every now and then, kissing her on the forehead. They feel asleep not long after that.  
  
XXXX  
  
A/N: Like I said with "Fall to Pieces" it's been a very busy week for me, so that's why It took forever to get this out. Plus, next week promises to be busy, as well. So, not sure when the next chapter of this will be out.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

How Does it Feel?  
  
Chapter 18  
  
Disclaimer: See every single other chapter.  
  
XXXX  
  
"Do you go to the doctor today?" Olivia asked as he handed her morning cup of coffee to her.  
  
"Yeah," he replied, sipping on his own coffee. "She tells me if I can go back to actually working or if I have to stay on desk duty for however many more months."  
  
"When is your appointment?"  
  
He glanced at his watch, "In around an hour."  
  
"Do you want some company?"  
  
He nodded, "Sure. I think Kathleen is taking the twins out to an early movie, anyway. You and I can meet them up for lunch afterwards."  
  
"Sounds good," she said, "I'll go get ready."  
  
An hour and a half later they sat it the doctors office, Elliot nervously awaiting what she would have to tell him.  
  
"Well," Doctor Summers said, looking down at the file in her hands. "You've healed very nicely, much better than I expected in fact. As of now I'd say it is probably safe to say that you could return to fulltime work without any consequences, but I'm going to recommend that you put it off for at least another week, just to be certain. But, I can tell you right now that in no more than two weeks you'll be off of desk duty and back to chasing the bad guys."  
  
He let out a sigh of relief, "What about living arrangements?"  
  
"You're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself now, you can start looking for a new place to live right away." She glanced at Olivia and smiled, "I'm sure it's getting a little cramped in a two bedroom apartment."  
  
Olivia nodded, "It certainly is something different. But, I'm getting use to it."  
  
"Well," Doctor Summers said, "Whatever you choose to do now you are able to do it." She looked back at Elliot, "You're free to go, Mr. Stabler, I won't keep you any longer."  
  
Elliot and started to leave but stopped and backtracked, "Oh, I was wondering about something..."  
  
"You're free to do anything, Mr. Stabler." She looked at Olivia with a smile, "No restrictions."  
  
Olivia blushed and turned her head to hide it. Elliot thanked the doctor and the two left the office, Olivia's cheeks returning to normal, only to redden again when he slipped his arm around her waist possessively. She leaned into him as they walked, resting her head on his shoulder and pulling his arm from around her waist to take his hand in hers. Standing straight again she intertwined their fingers, looking over at him with a smile. "You just had to ask," she said with a chuckle.  
  
He shrugged, "I was only trying to be thorough."  
  
She rolled her eyes as they entered the elevator, pressing the button for the parking lot. Elliot stood behind her in the elevator, his arms wrapped around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder. "Move in with me," he said out of the blue.  
  
"What?" She asked, turning around to face him. "You don't even have a place to live, Elliot. You live with me, how could I move in with you?"  
  
"When I get a place," he said. "I want you to move in with me."  
  
"I don't know, Elliot..." she told him, shaking her head. "We're going to get sick of each other really soon if we're never out of each other's sight."  
  
The elevator dinged and the doors opened. She sighed and turned to walk out of the elevator, pulling him with her. When they reached her car she leaned up against it, Elliot standing in front of her with his hands resting on her hips.  
  
"Move in with me," he repeated, running a hand through her hair.  
  
"Let me think about it," she said, "alright?"  
  
He nodded and leaned in to kiss her. "Just, don't take too long," he said when he pulled back. "Now, let's eat."  
  
XXXX  
  
The five sat at a circular table, chatting amongst themselves. They had agreed on Outback Steakhouse, and after half an hour of waiting had finally been seated, now they were discussing their lunch choices. While the other four talked Olivia sat quietly thinking over the proposal that Elliot had made earlier. Live with him? She had no problem with taking care of him when he was healing, but to live with him full time? Was that wise so early in their relationship? They hadn't even been one an official date yet, wasn't living together a bit of a leap?  
  
But, hadn't they been doing the exact thing for nearly four months? Would things really be different now that he could do ... anything? And, how would the sleeping arrangements work out anyway? Given that the girls shared a room, if she got her own that would be a four bedroom, whether it was an apartment or a house those weren't easy to find in the city. And, what if he did want to share a room? Would that be a wise move?  
  
"Olivia?" Elliot asked, placing his hand over hers. "You ok?"  
  
She looked up at him, "Huh? ...Oh, just thinking."  
  
He continued to look at her, the kids were talking in the background. "About?"  
  
"What you asked earlier."  
  
"Oh? And?"  
  
She shook her head, "I'll tell you when I figure it out."  
  
He nodded, "No pressure."  
  
She placed her hand over his, "I know. It's just a big, huge step. I'm not sure if we're ready for it."  
  
"I'm sure we'd be ready for anything," he said with a playful snort. "Moving in together hasn't been a problem so far."  
  
"Well..." she said, "there were different circumstances then."  
  
"Point noted."  
  
"How 'bout this," she said, "I sleep on it and give you the answer in the morning?"  
  
"Sounds good to me." He agreed. "The earlier the better."  
  
She smiled and nodded, "Agreed."  
  
Elliot then went back to his previous conversation with his children and Olivia went back to her thinking. She was a little bit more certain that maybe moving in together would be a good thing, and it wasn't like it would be much of a change. Deciding that she wouldn't get any thinking done with all the noise around her, so she put it aside for the time being, and joined the conversation between Elliot and the kids.  
  
XXXX  
  
It was nearly midnight and she was still awake, restlessly thinking over her options. She could, A; agree to move in with him or B; ... not. In all truths, the former was a bit more appealing than the latter was, but that didn't mean it was the best choice. If they move din together (for real, instead of her taking care of him while he was healing) then would things start moving too fast? And if they did what kind of results would that bring in? Would that cause their relationship to crash and burn? Was that even possible?  
  
But, what if they could live together and yet at the same time take things slowly. She trusted Elliot enough to know that he would if she asked him to, so what was the problem here?  
  
She couldn't make up her damn mind, that was the problem. Both options worked, but with option A she got to be around him more, while with option B she would be able to have time alone if she needed it. And, was she ready to help take care of Kathleen, Dickey, and Elizabeth fulltime? Sure, it had been fine for these past couple of months, but that was because she knew she would eventually get her peace and quiet back. Could she really give that much need silence up?  
  
Soft footfall took her out of her thoughts; she looked up to see Kathleen swaying awkwardly in the middle of the living room. "Kathleen?" She questioned, "What are you doing up so late?"  
  
She smiled and sat down next to her on the couch, "It's a weekend and I've certainly gone to bed later than this. Is dad sleeping with Dickey tonight?"  
  
Olivia nodded.  
  
"That's different," Kathleen speculated. "Did you two have a fight or something?"  
  
She shook her head, "He just wanted to give me some time to think some things over."  
  
"Oh, yeah?" She asked, "Like what?" When she saw the unsure look pass through Olivia's eyes she decided not to press further, "If it's something you'd rather not talk about, that's fine, I don't have to know. Dad says that I'm too curious for my own good," she shrugged, "he's probably right."  
  
"It's alright," Olivia reassured her. "Your father asked me to move in with you guys, whenever you got a place of your own."  
  
"And that's a tough decision?"  
  
"More than he realizes." Olivia said with a sigh, "There's a lot of stuff I have to consider. First of all, you guys ... I mean, I don't want to intrude on your time with your father. Then there's the simple fact that maybe I'm not ready to move in, even if it's with him. I've been so use to being alone that even the situation we're in right now is a big step for me."  
  
"I don't know, Olivia." Kathleen said, "It sounds to me like you've already made up your mind, what else is there to think about?"  
  
Olivia smiled, "I love your father, Kathleen ... there's the plus side to moving in. I've grown accustomed to falling asleep in his arms at night and waking up looking into his eyes. I'm not sure I want to loose that."  
  
Kathleen didn't answer.  
  
"I'm sorry," Olivia apologized, mentally cursing herself. "I'm making you uncomfortable, aren't I?"  
  
She shook her head, "Not at all. I'm glad that you trust me enough to even tell me about what's bothering you ... I figured you just saw me as some stupid teenager. I'm just honored that you're trusting me with this."  
  
Olivia laughed, "I thought you saw me as the woman who stole your father from your mother." She confessed, "The last thing I see you as is just another teenager, Kathleen. You have to believe me when I say that."  
  
"...And I don't blame you for my father and my mother's divorce. They had problems long before you and Dad even started to work together, they just seemed to escalate year after year." She shrugged, "What happened was going to happen sooner or later, and I'm not mad at you and dad for falling in love, if anything I'm glad that he was able to move on ... and I'm glad that it was you who he chose to move on with."  
  
Olivia smiled, "This still doesn't help with my dilemma." She leaned forward, rubbing her face with her hands to wake herself up more, and let out a frustrated grunt. "I'm never going to figure this out, and I promised your father that I would give him an answer tomorrow ... rather, this morning."  
  
"Well," Kathleen said. "We'll do the pros and cons." She got up from the couch and went to the far left of the living room, where her book bag and purse were lying haphazardly on the ground. She unzipped it and pulled out a notebook and pen. Sitting back down she opened the notebook to a blank sheet of paper. "Alright, we'll start with not moving in ... pros."  
  
"Silence." Olivia started, "Uh ... I don't like this method."  
  
"Oh, come on, it's easy. How about we try cons first?"  
  
"Alright, let's give it a shot. First con, sleeping alone again."  
  
Kathleen nodded, writing down what she had said in the notebook. "What's the second?"  
  
"Silence."  
  
"It can't go both ways," Kathleen chided.  
  
"Why the hell not? Silence can be both a good and bad thing, can it not?"  
  
"Fine," Kathleen gave in, writing down silence under cons. "Next?"  
  
"Eating alone." She thought for a few more minutes, "And ... not midnight girl talks."  
  
Kathleen smiled and wrote down the third and fourth cons. "Is there any more?"  
  
"None that matter much," Olivia replied. "Now for the pros."  
  
"Alright, pro number 1."  
  
"Silence."  
  
She sighed, but wrote down silence nonetheless. "Next?"  
  
"Complete Privacy."  
  
She nodded, "And, what else?"  
  
"Alone time."  
  
"Mmk, is there anything else?"  
  
She thought it over, "...No, not that I can think of."  
  
"Ok, so now we do moving in ... pros first."  
  
"Not sleeping alone."  
  
"Two?"  
  
"Not eating alone."  
  
"Three."  
  
"Late night girl talks."  
  
Kathleen smiled as she quickly wrote down the answers. "Four?"  
  
"Noise."  
  
"Noise?"  
  
Olivia nodded, "Noise."  
  
"Alright, what else is there?"  
  
"Easier to get to work and it would be a lot easier and cheaper to go to work in one car."  
  
"Give me some time to write that one down," she yawned as she wrote. "Anything else?"  
  
"Yeah ... getting to tell you to get some sleep." She smiled and gave Kathleen a hug, "I think I've got it from here ... you go and get some rest. Lord knows you need it with the hour you get up to get ready for school."  
  
"If you're sure," she said. "Goodnight."  
  
"G'night."  
  
Adding one last touch to the notebook she shut it and set it on the couch, then walked back to the bedroom with a smile. When she had gone Olivia's curiosity got the better of her and she flipped open the book to see what she had written. She smiled when she saw that under cons on the moving in page Kathleen had written in big, bold letters "none".  
  
Setting the notebook back down she leaned back and rested her head on the top of the couch, sighing as she did so. She still had some thinking to do.  
  
XXXX  
  
A/N: Good Lord this took forever and a day! Anyway, I'm in the middle of working on another fic for SVU, but I think I'm going to wait until I'm finished with it to post it, since it seems to me that would be much easier than spending over a week thinking of other things to write in. Anyway, please review. 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

How Does it Feel?

Chapter 19

Disclaimer: As with chapters 1 through 18, the show doesn't belong to me, but my original characters are still mine ... let's see that's what 2 characters?

XXXX

The Next Morning:

Olivia's eyes opened and she found herself looking at the back of her couch. Had she fallen asleep without pulling the couch bed out ... again? She thought back, yeah, she had fallen asleep while still thinking of her options. "Shit," she cursed under her breath, turning around to glance around the room. It was empty and from what she could tell it was just beginning to get bright outside, it must have been around six thirty in the morning. Plenty of time left to think ... or at least she hoped so.

Sitting upright on the couch she ran a hand through her hair haphazardly, pulling it out of her face only to have it fall back into her eyes. Sighing she blew at the stubborn strands, but then continued to fall back into their original spot. Giving up she got off of the couch and quietly tiptoed into the kitchen, praying that she wouldn't wake him or anybody else.

Deciding against making coffee she poured herself a cup of orange juice and sat down at her table, sighing to herself. She still hadn't come to a complete decision, but she was getting closer to it. Her talk with Kathleen had helped her a lot, it put things into perspective, and she had to admit no matter how simple her plan had been it had been effective. She quickly went over her options one last time; move in with Elliot and give up the peace and quite of living alone, or move in with Elliot and finally be happy with the way things were. It seemed like an easy choice, but it was tougher than she could have ever imagined.

Setting her cup down on the table she pushed her chair back and stood. Glancing at the clock she saw that it was almost seven in the morning, she needed to make a decision, and quick. Elliot would be waking up soon, if he hadn't already. She left the kitchen and once again sat down on the living room couch, picking up the notebook that Kathleen had left behind. Smiling she flipped through the pages, coming up on the page that Kathleen had written her pros and cons on.

She glanced over the "pros" for moving in, smiled to herself then looked over at the "cons", where Kathleen had written 'none'. Laughing to herself she put the book back down on the couch and leaned back, resting her head against the back of the couch, eyes shut. Sighing she went over her choices once again, live alone again or move in with Elliot when he got a new place. How was this so hard? She was in love with Elliot, shouldn't that make her choice easier?

A yawn took her from her thoughts; she opened her eyes and looked towards the direction of the noise. "Hey," she greeted him as he sleepily walked into the living room. "Sleep well?"

He nodded and sat down on the couch, groaning. "It's way too early," he stated, looking over at the clock.

Olivia smiled, "Then go back to sleep."

"Can't," he mumbled, "Dad's snoring."

"Really?" She asked, "I've never noticed that."

"That's because he doesn't snore when he sleeps out here, at least not loudly." He yawned again, running a hand over his short hair. "I didn't sleep more than four hours last night."

"Let me pull the couch bed out for you," she offered. "I can go in there with your father while you sleep."

"Would you?" He asked, "That would be great."

"Why not? You pull the bed out really quick while I go get you some blankets and pillows." She walked off towards the hall closet to some things for him and instantly understood why Dickey was unable to sleep; she could hear his fathers snoring through the shut door. She laughed to herself and grabbed the sheets, taking them back into the living room.

Dickey was already lying on the pulled out couch bed, his eyes closed. Sighing to herself she set the sheets down on the bed and covered him up with the blanket she had brought, then slipped a pillow under his head. His eyes blinked open and he smiled at her.

"Thank you, 'Livia." He mumbled, changing positions and turning towards the right. "G'night."

"Sweet dreams, Dickey." She said, running a hand through his hair. "I'll see you when you wake up."

Walking back to the hallway she glanced over her shoulder, smiling at the sleeping boy. She opened the door to the guest bedroom and quietly slipped inside, shutting it behind her gently. Tiptoeing across the floor as carefully as she could without waking him she winced at the loud snoring. As she slipped under the covers he turned, mumbled something, and began to snore again.

"Elliot," she whispered, scooting close to him. "You're snoring."

"Hmmm?" He asked, squinting at her. "What're you doing in here?"

"Trying to sleep," she told him, "I'd be able to if you would just quit with the snoring."

He slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "I'll try," he mumbled into her hair. "Night."

She smiled and turned around so that she was facing him, "Yes."

"Yes what?" He asked, his eyes still closed.

"Yes, I'll move in with you."

A grin stretched across his face, although his eyes did not open. "Good ... we'll talk about it later."

She snuggled into his chest, "Right. Goodnight." Feeling her eyelids getting heavy she shut them and settled into sleep. A few minutes later Elliot's snoring stopped and she started to doze off.

XXXX

He was awake and staring down at her when her eyes opened again. Sunlight was coming through the window in the apartment's guest bedroom and shining down on the bed, warming the covers and causing her to sweat slightly, her shirt sticking to her back. He, however, didn't seem phased by the heat; but then again that might be because he was topless. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Good morning."

She scooted backwards and sat in an upright position, her eyes never leaving his. "Morning," she replied, a smile still playing at her lips. "How long have you been awake?"

He shrugged, "'Bout half an hour, I guess."

"...And you've just been sitting here the whole time, looking at me?"

"Looking at you," he agreed with a nod. "Something wrong with that?"

She shook her head and leaned forward, kissing him briefly. "So, this morning, were you paying attention ... at all?"

He nodded, "I was."

"...So?"

"So, what? You agreed to move in with me, case closed."

"I hate to burst your bubble, El. But ... it's not that easy. First, we have to decide how the sleeping arrangements are going to go, of course I-" she couldn't finish her sentence, his lips had made sure of that.

She protested at first, trying to pull back in order to finish her speech. However, he had other plans, and had wrapped his arms around her waist, crushing her into him, so close that not even a playing card could fit between them. In the end she gave up and into the kiss. She laughed into the kiss as his fingers traveled up and down her spine, tickling her. Finally pulling back she swatted him playfully, "I wasn't done talking, you know?"

He smiled, "I know." Then pulled her back into another kiss.

She managed to pull out of his grasp completely when they came up for air the next time, and she scooted off of the bed. "I'd like to finish what I started to say," she scolded, folding her arms across her chest. "If it's alright with you."

"By all means," he said, throwing his hands up in his defense. "Please do."

She rolled her shoulders, stretching out her back, "Thank you." Sitting back on the bed she continued, "As I was saying before, we still have a lot of things to think about. It's not as simple as moving in together, you know? There's the bills, moving expenses, sleeping arrangements, central location, things as such. We should get the kids together and talk this over first, make sure they're all ok with it. Because, I don't want to make them uncomfortable. Then, after that's done we can go over the financial aspect, as well as the prospect of space and sleeping arrangements."

"Oh, we've already decided on that," he told her. "You and I will share a room."

"Oh?" She asked, "And when did we have this conversation?"

He smiled, "What? You'd rather sleep alone?"

"...Well no...." She confessed, blushing slightly.

"See ... conversation's over already." He leaned forward and kissed her, "Come on, let's go make something for breakfast."

XXXX

After making pancakes they went around and woke the girls, who were still asleep. Dickey had already taken control of the remote and was flipping through the channels, disappointed to find nothing but Sunday morning infomercials. "It's already 9 o'clock," he mumbled, "something else should be on by now."

"You could try and find a movie," Olivia suggested.

"You got anything good?"

She shrugged, "Depends on who you ask, I guess."

A few minutes later he came into the kitchen mumbling about chick flicks and cop dramas he'd already watched with his dad. She chuckled to herself and put a couple of pancakes on a plate, handing it to him.

"You'll have to put the toppings on yourself," she said, directing him to the other side of the kitchen where the butter and maple syrup were. "Can you do that, or you as useless as your father when it comes to any kind of cooking?"

"Hey!" Elliot called from the stove; "I'm making these pancakes, aren't I?"

"Yes you are!" She exclaimed proudly, "Good for you, you can flip a pancake." She winked at Dickey, "I'm just teasing you, I'm sure you're a much better cook than your father."

He grinned and went to fix his pancake. Olivia glanced over at Elliot, who was giving her the evil eye while his pancakes burned on the stove.

"Uh, Emeril Lagasse, your pancakes are burning."

He looked over at the stove; "Oh ... shit." He muttered, taking the pancake and lying it on the plate of the others that had already been cooked.

"What were you saying about being able to cook?" She asked, leaning against the sink.

He glared at her, "You ... don't even start."

She threw her hands up in mock defense, "Hey ... just askin' a simple question, all I need is a simple answer."

He growled and went back to making breakfast. Laughing to herself she decided to get the girls up so they could come out and eat. As she walked by Dickey she tousled his hair, causing him to call out to her.

She smiled at the look he gave her; it mirrored his father's exactly. She had never really paid attention to how much alike the two were, he definitely favored Elliot more.

After the girls were up and ready the rest of them sat down and ate their pancakes, Olivia nearly choked on her orange juice when she saw Elliot take a bite of the burnt pancake, and grimace from the taste it left in his mouth. He glared at her as she caught her breath and forced himself to swallow the food.

"I didn't want to waste it," he said in his defense, though he did not take another bite from the way too dark pancake.

She forced back her laughter and nodded, looking down at her food so that she wouldn't end up letting the laugh slip, though she desperately wanted to. Swallowing it away she picked up her orange juice and finished it off, then took the last bite of her pancakes. She caught Elliot's eye as he pushed the plate that the burnt pancake was on away, a look of disgust in his eyes. He noticed her watching him and looked in her direction, a smile playing at his lips.

"Never a dull day," he said.

"That's for sure," she replied, shaking her head with laughter.

This not living alone thing was a lot easier than she thought.

XXXX

A/N: I'm not positive at this point in time, but I think that this next chapter is going to be the last one, if not the second to last. Anyway, let me know what'cha think of it, I always enjoy feedback (if it's nice!). Thanks for sticking with me this far; I hope you've been enjoying it. So ... get on with the reviewing!  
If you were confused by my saying "Uh, Emeril Lagasse, your pancakes are burning." Allow me to explain, Emeril Lagasse is a professional cook, some americans (and maybe other nationalities) know of him ... you know "bang!" 


	20. Chapter Twenty

**How Does it Feel**

**Chapter Twenty**

**Disclaimer: ...Well, they don't belong to me, if that's what you're really after.**

**A/N: Alright, my bad. I realize that Emeril say's "bam". I should've known, with all those toothpaste commercials floating around. Anyway, I'm sorry I got it wrong, please don't bite my head off.**

**   
XXXX**

One Week Later:

He sat down at his old desk with a smile, feeling no discomfort as he did so, which was a very good sign. Glancing across from him at Olivia he noticed that her face too held a smile, it was good to finally be back, without any boundaries. He had met with Cragen earlier that week and the man had given the ok on his return, now he could finally get back to working, instead of answering telephones and doing pile after pile of paperwork.

They only stayed at work for maybe half an hour when they were called away on a case; a teenage girl had been attacked at an ice-skating rink and would have been raped if it hadn't been for the fact her brother had practiced his wrestling moves on her when she was younger. She had managed to escape, but not after the damage had already been done, and the case was eerily familiar to one that had gone cold not even a month prior. The man had run off after the girl had caused him minor physical discomfort so they had their work cut out for them, luckily he had left a part of him behind, the girl had some pretty sharp nails.

Warner ran the DNA from the skin cells through the system; it spit nothing back at them. So, using the description that she had given them they went through their database. After two and a half-hours of searching through MO's and pictures they came across one that fit the profile, Justin R. Lane. He had been the suspect in a previous case, though instead of at an ice-skating rink it was at laser-tag, and he hadn't been convicted for the simple fact that his fiancée had provided a shaky alibi that they couldn't break. The two stories matched perfectly, though the current victims had never been raped.

So, they brought him in for questioning. He gave them a piss-poor alibi; he had been job hunting, although he could not provide any specific locations at which he had gone to. They then had the current victim come in for a line up, it didn't take her ten seconds to point out 'number three' or, more specifically, Justin R. Lane. When the first victim was brought in (her rape had taken place almost a year prior) it took her lest than such, she too picked out Lane. That, Alex said with her normal, professional smirk, was enough to get a warrant for his DNA.

Again, Warner compared the DNA from Lane to the DNA found under Meghan (the victim's) fingernails. When the results came back everybody (sans Lane) was relieved to see that it was a perfect match. When the DNA from the current crime was compared to the earlier crime it too came out as a perfect match; Lane had been the doer for both. Faced with the proof Lane broke; confessed to everything in hopes of getting a reduced sentence.

No deal was offered.

Elliot's first day back on the job ended seven hours after his shift ended; though he didn't mind much. Olivia volunteered to drive home, just in case his stomach had started acting up, but he protested, if he was well enough to work he damn well better be able to drive a car. She smiled at him and handed over the keys, muttering about his male superego having returned.

"I think I found it," he announced as they lay on the couch bed in her living room that night.

"Oh?" she asked, turning on her side to look at him. "Found what?"

"Where we're going to live," he replied as if he had made it obvious with his former statement. "I think that I've found it."

She smiled, resting her in the palm of one of her hands (elbow propped up on the bed). "And where exactly is this house that you have found?"

"Queens," he said, pulling at the covers. "Not that far from where I used to live, only about three blocks; actually."

"Really?" She asked with a little more enthusiasm than she actually felt, she wasn't fond of leaving her apartment so soon, but she said nothing of it. "What's it like?"

His brow furrowed in thought, "...Uh, two story, four bedroom, two and a half bath. Master bedroom is downstairs, along with it's own bath. The other three bedrooms and bathrooms are the only things upstairs. Big kitchen, nice sized living room. Fairly nice backyard, not too big but not so small, either. I think you'll like it, I made an appointment to go and see it, for Saturday." He paused, brushing a stubborn lock of hair out of her eyes, "You want to see it?"

She nodded, pulling the same strand of hair behind her ear. "I'd like to, it sounds wonderful. Just out of curiosity ... how much is it?"

"130,000." He replied, nonchalantly.

She began to chew on her lower lip. "It could be worse," she stated, "it could be a lot worse."

"You're right," he said, kissing her on the forehead. "It could." He glanced at his watch, "It's almost midnight, we should get some sleep."

She nodded, turning so that her back was facing him. His arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her closer, into a spooning position. Within a few minutes both were drifting off to sleep.

**XXXX**

"...Well?" He asked, turning around in the empty room, then stopping to face her. "What do you think?"

A grin stretched across her face, "I think ... it's perfect." Her earlier apprehensions of moving had flown out the window the second they stepped into the beautiful hardwood floored home. "You certainly do know how to pick them," she said, walking up to him.

He rested his hands on her hips and pulled her closer to him, "So ... this is it?" He asked, a hopeful expression on his face.

"I think so," she replied excitedly. "Of course, we'll have to bring the kids here, it'll be as much their home as ours."

He nodded, looking down at the floor. Suddenly, his hands dropped from her hips and he went searching through his pockets. When he had found what he had been looking for he looked back up at Olivia, their eyes locked. When she looked back down he held a small, black velvet box in his hands.

"Elliot?" She asked, looking back up at him. "...What? ... I ... is that what...?" She gave up asking and just looked at him with questioning eyes.

The box popped open, revealing a tear-shaped diamond hidden inside. She gasped, her eyes glued to the ring, and felt a shiver travel down her spine.

"Olivia...." He said softly, regaining her attention. Her eyes traveled up to his, dancing with excitement. "Olivia," he said again, stroking her cheek with his free hand. "I know that all of this is a little ... sudden, I mean we haven't even been on an official date yet ... let alone any of the fun stuff." She smile crept across her face and her cheeks flushed, but she didn't break eye contact. "I want you to know that I love you," he continued, "more than I thought was ever possible. And, trust me, if all of this is moving too fast for you I'm willing to slow things down. But ... I feel like this," he glanced down at the ring, "is right." Looking back up at her he smiled, "Olivia, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter how cliché that may sound.... Will you marry me?"

Though she had anticipated the question it still stunned her, leaving her feeling breathless and lightheaded. "I..." she started, her voice coming out thick and scratchy. "Yes," she finally forced out, "of course!"

He breathed out a sigh of relief and without warning picked her up off of the floor, holding on tightly as he spun around. She laughed and demanded that he put her back on the ground, she was beginning to get dizzy. He did so, catching her off guard again with her lips on hers; she made no objections.

When he broke away he took the ring out of its holding place and slipped it on her ring finger, then kissed her again. When they came up for air she threw her arms around his neck again, squealing happily as she examined the ring. It was simple, which just made it all the more beautiful to her; she never had liked gaudy stones. "I love you," she whispered into his ear, holding on tightly. "I love you."

**XXXX**

Two Months Later:

She hung up the last of her shirts and glanced around the large walk-in closet, her things were on the right side and his were on the left, although from the looks of it hers would soon occupy some of the empty space he had left. Looking behind her, out the door of the closet, she saw the two large shoeboxes that had yet to be unpacked. Sighing to herself she slumped out of the closet and towards the boxes, God how she hated unpacking.

A smile spread across her face when she saw him lying on the bed, pretending to be asleep. Holding back her laughter she crawled onto the bed that they would be sharing from that point on, he didn't stir. "Ooh ... he's asleep," she said to herself as she made her way to where he was lying. "I guess I'll just have my way with him, then." A smile spread across his face as she began to unbutton his shirt, but he didn't let on that he was awake.

When the last button was undone she changed positions, straddling his hips. She leaned forward and started a trail of kisses from one side of his jaw till she reached his ear, which she then began to nibble on, knowing that it drove him crazy. Then, he caught her off guard, and wrapped his arms around her waist, flipping her over so that he was hovering above her, a sly grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. She grabbed the loose ends of his shirt and pulled him closer to her, meeting him with a deep kiss.

He pulled away and sat on the bed, re-buttoning his shirt. She pouted and sat up too, running a hand through her hair. "I've still got a lot of unpacking to do," she informed him, tugging at the bottom of her shirt. "Are you finished yet?"

He snorted, "Not even close."

"So ... why the catnap, then?"

"I dunno," he said with a shrug. "It was fun, though, huh?"

She rolled her eyes and slid off of the bed, making her way back to the two large boxes filled with shoes sitting in the middle of the room. "So ... everything besides our room is finished? Right?"

"I doubt that the kids' rooms are even halfway done, but other than that everything is finished." He scooted towards the edge of the bed and let his feet hang off of the side, "I was thinking that you and I could go out to eat tonight."

"What about the kids?" She asked, tearing the tape off of the box and unfolding it. "We're just going to leave them here?"

He shook his head; "I believe Dickie is staying the night with Nathan and Maureen is going to be in town and has decided to take Kathleen and Lizzie to dinner and a movie. So ... we're alone tonight."

She turned to look at him with a smile, "And you want to spend our night alone out ... eating?"

"We could always come back here for dessert," he replied, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

Leaving her box open in the middle of the room she walked back to where he was still sitting on the edge of the bed, and sat down on his lap. "I believe that I like that idea," she said, nibbling on his ear again. He groaned and pulled back, looking at her with amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Now, you know that can only lead to one place," he scolded. "We've still got a lot of work to do and the kids haven't even left yet."

"So?" She said, kissing him deeply. "The door locks."

**XXXX**

**A/N: Alright, so maybe this isn't the last chapter. But, it's coming up soon, I'm sure of it. Anyway, thanks to everybody who has reviewed so far, you guys rock!**


	21. Chapter Twenty One

**How Does it Feel?**

**Chapter Twenty One**

**Disclaimer: As I said before, I don't own the show, the characters, or anything else except original characters (i.e. my killer from earlier chapters) and the story in itself. It's not much, but it'll do.**

**XXXX**

The next few days consisted of nothing but moving in and getting everything unpacked. Once everybody was settled in to the new house they agreed to have a house-warming party, nothing extravagant, Munch and Fin would come, as would the captain, Alex, and Huang and the kids could each invite a friend or two. All in all, there would be roughly ten to twelve people there. Olivia wasn't looking forward to making food for so many people, especially when she wasn't that good of a cook in the first place, so Elliot volunteered to make hamburgers and hotdogs and they would just eat out on the back deck. The party was set for Saturday, it was Tuesday.

Olivia and Elliot were in the middle of a big case, a twenty six widowed mother was raped and left for dead while her two year old son slept in the room across the hall, only to wake up in the morning and find mommy bleeding to death. They had been called in on the case the day before and ever sense trying to search for any clues, since the mother was in a coma due to a severe concussion and blood loss. The little boy, Caleb, was staying with his aunt in the city while waiting for his mother to wake. It didn't seem that she had a boyfriend, or had one in the past, since her husband had only been dead a few short months. She was a 2nd grade teacher and was going to night school, so they decided that the best places to look were at the school where she taught and the community college that she took her journalism courses at.

Their first stop was the elementary school; it was a private school, very pricey. Talking with the principle had proved useless, she had only been employed there for a few months and he wasn't the type of boss that cared about his employees, rather the money that he earned. All he could provide them with was her room number, the teachers that he saw her sit with at lunch, and the name of one woman that she was normally other. Other than that, he had a busy schedule and could not be bothered with speaking to the police. He just wanted to know when she would be coming back to work.

"Elizabeth Turner is in a comma," Elliot had spat out at the man. "The doctors aren't sure if she's ever going to wake up."

"Oh," the man had said without a hint of sympathy. "I should hire another teacher, then?"

Olivia placed a hand over Elliot's discretely, knowing that at that particular moment he would probably like nothing more than to rip the pompous ass' head off. He looked over at her, his eyes burning, but held his fury in.

"Mr. Hunt, where we you between the hours of 2 and 4 on Monday morning?" She asked coolly, not letting on that she to would like to jam her fist down his throat.

"Why do you want to know?" He asked her defensively, "Am I a suspect?"

"It's a required question, Mr. Hunt," Elliot assured him, finally able to speak without his anger showing. "Just so we can exclude you."

Hunt sighed, "I was at home, asleep."

Olivia nodded; she had expected an answer on those lines. "Can anybody corroborate that?"

"My wife," Hunt said, writing down a number on a blank sheet of paper from his desk. "Her name is Julie. She's a receptionist at a firm in the city," he handed the paper to Olivia. "Call her anytime."

She nodded, taking the paper. "Thank you, sir. Is there any way that we could talk with this Miss Bishop that you spoke of earlier?"

"I'll call her down," he replied, pressing a buzzer. "Miss Bishop, could I see you in my office, please?"

"Right away sir," said a young, feminine from the other end of the phone.

"If you could wait for her in the hallway I have a meeting in five minutes," Hunt explained, motioning at the other door in his office. "Parent of a trouble making fifth grader. It's very important."

"Of course," Olivia said, letting go of Elliot's hand and standing up. He followed suit, his hand finding its way to the small of her back as they exited the room. Subtle touches as such had become a normal part of their daily routine; it had started immediately after he had returned to work. "So," Olivia said when they were a safe distance away from the principal's door. "It's not uncommon for married men to use their wives as an alibi, most often they'll do anything their husband says." She opened up the piece of paper that Hunt had given her, "Julie could be a loving wife who will do whatever her husband wants her to."

"You think it was Hunt?" Elliot asked, grabbing her arm and pulling her further down the hallway away from the classrooms.

"He doesn't seem to upset by the fact that one of his employees was brutally raped and nearly died." She said with a shrug, "He looks good for it."

"Let's keep our options open for now," he told her, looking over his shoulder. "But, I would like to get somebody to call his wife, see what she says. If he was going to call her for a warning he would have already done it by now, but who knows."

Olivia nodded and pulled out her cell phone, as she dialed Munch's number a short, dark haired woman walked up to them and introduced herself as Miss Bishop. While Elliot began talking with her Olivia walked off, giving Munch the details on their talk with Hunt. "I don't know, Munch," she told him. "He seemed so cold, he even wanted to know when Turner would be back to work. Not many people are concerned with things like that when they find out somebody they know was just raped." She sighed, "He's got an alibi."

"Wife?" Munch questioned on instinct.

"Yeah, I'm going to give you her number so that you can call." She glanced down at the paper, "It's 555-9822, her name is Julie Hunt. She's the receptionist so she'll probably be the one to answer."

"I'm on it," he assured her before hanging up. Olivia walked back to where Elliot was talking with Bishop.

"-I don't know of anybody who would do this to her," the woman was saying, "she's never told me of any enemies. I don't know, maybe we weren't as close as I thought we were."

"Do you know if Elizabeth had a boyfriend?"

"Heavens no," Bishop said, disgusted at the idea. "She loved Brad with all her heart, when he died she was devastated."

"I thought that Elizabeth didn't start working here until after her husband died," Olivia pointed out, standing next to Elliot. "Did you know her before?"

Bishop nodded, "I was the one who told her about the open job. When Brad died Elizabeth took a break from work, to be with Caleb. Her sister helped her with the finances. It wasn't even two months ago when the old teacher, Mrs. Robertson, retired and her position was open. Liz had spoken of going back to work a few days before that and I told her about the opening. She was thrilled about it, it was close to her apartment and Caleb's daycare center, it was the first time she had been somewhat happy since Brad died." Bishop sniffled, "I don't know how much help I'm going to be."

"It's alright," Olivia told her. "Do you know what she did Sunday night?"

"Nothing, she stayed home with Caleb. We talked around ten about a field trip that our two classes have scheduled for tomorrow, she seemed fine."

"How has everything been at work?" Elliot inquired, "No problems with any of the teachers?"

"Not really." Bishop replied, "She's been kind of sore with Mrs. Wade, one of the fourth grade teachers. I guess that one of Mrs. Wade's students has been teasing one of Liz's, and she said something to her about it. I'm not sure, it's nothing major. Kids will be kids, right?"

Elliot smiled, "Don't I know it. What about with the principle, Mr. Hunt? Has everything between them been going well?"

She shrugged, "Who knows. Mr. Hunt doesn't really like to get involved with the teachers, he stays locked up in his office for must of the day." A look of disgust passed over her face, "When he does venture out of his hole the only thing he does is make innuendo's and bad jokes, and he hardly ever talks to the male teachers, that should tell you something right there. I don't know how Jules puts up with it."

"You know his wife?"

"Oh, yeah. Julie is a wonderful person. She comes to all the meetings and talks with the teachers, much more friendly than Mr. Hunt is." Bishop smiled, "The other day Jules told me that she was going to file for divorce, seems Mr. Hunt doesn't know how to keep it in his pants or how to keep his mistress a secret."

Olivia and Elliot shared a look; an entire silent conversation passed through their eyes in the course of five seconds. "Thank you, Miss Bishop," Olivia said, pulling out her card. "If you need anything, call that number and ask for Detective Benson."

Bishop took the card, "Thank you, I will." She started to walk off and turned around suddenly, "Oh, I almost forgot. The other day I overheard Liz talking with Mr. Hunt about taking some time off, her sister is getting married soon and her wedding is on a weekday, Hunt didn't seem very happy about it and threatened to fire her if she took any time off so soon after he hired her. I hope that helps."

Olivia nodded, "Thank you." Bishop smiled slightly and took off down the hallway again.

"I don't know about you, Elliot," Olivia said, turning to face him. "But I think that we need to learn a little more about or friend Mr. Hunt."

**XXXX**

"What'cha got for us," Elliot asked Munch, sitting down at his desk.

"I called the wife, Julie Hunt."

"Continue," Olivia urged, sitting at her desk as well.

"Well, it seems that Julie started to get tired fairly early that night, almost immediately after eating dinner, she and her husband had been having problems so he opted to make her a fancy meal. Anyway, she went off to bed around 9 p.m. and slept like a log. However, she said that around 5 in the morning she woke up because the dog was barking. Her husband wasn't in the bed. After getting up to see what was going on she found her husband in the kitchen. He told her that he was thirsty and had gotten up for something to drink. She went right back to sleep." He shrugged, "It's not much, but her alibi is shaky. It won't hold up in court, if it comes down to that. What did you find out about Hunt?"

"No priors, guy's clean." Olivia sighed, "He just seemed so...."

"Guilty," Elliot finished for her. "He wasn't nervous or anything, but the way he talked and the looks he gave, he didn't care one bit that that woman was raped and almost died. He was more concerned with finding out if she would need to be replaced." The earlier anger flashed in his eyes, "I could have hit him he was so obnoxious."

"He fits the sociopath profile," Huang said, coming out of nowhere and making Olivia jump slightly.

"Jesus," she exclaimed, "how do you do that?"

He shrugged, "Hunt is the classic sociopath. Fits in with society, cold and seemingly unemotional. If you do bring him in, I'd like to talk to him."

"So, you think he's our guy?" Elliot asked, rolling up the sleeves on his shirt.

"It's a likely idea. He's in close contact with her everyday, they weren't on good terms, his wife is thinking about leaving him. He's desperate and isn't in control with his life anymore, he could have raped Elizabeth to feel like he was in control of something."

"But is it enough to get a warrant for his DNA?" Olivia asked, leaning back in her chair.

"No," Elliot replied. "Not yet. But, we bring him in for further questioning, tell him that we need to know more about her work day and things like that. We catch him, in something, anything. Get him to boast, feed into his ego." A smile spread across his face, "If he's the kind of guy who likes control he'll give it up."

**XXXX**

"Sorry about the inconvenience, Mr. Hunt." Elliot said, handing the man a glass of water. "This won't take long."

"Call me George," he told him. "And I've got plenty of time, what is it you needed to know?"

"Just more about Elizabeth's work day, anything that you can remember." Fin told him, Olivia had opted to stay out of the questioning, and they figured that having Fin there would feed into Hunt's bravado, get him to confess to feel macho.

Hunt shook his head, "There' really nothing more that I can say, except for what I told Detective Stabler and his lady partner. I didn't speak with Ms. Turner very often."

"Right," Elliot said, nodding. "You said so, but we were just wondering. Anything, no matter how insignificant, like her mood. Did she seem distressed the past couple of days, did she come in asking for any time off ... things of that nature."

Hunt nodded, "She did ask for two days off for the week after next, but I told her that until she worked here for a longer amount of time that could not happen. She was upset by it, but understood."

"Did she say why she needed those two days off?"

"Her sister is getting married. She was supposed to be the matron of honor."

Fin sat down across from Hunt, "Sisters don't get married very often, you couldn't bend the rules for such a special occasion? It would be the only respectful thing to do."

Hunt held his head high, "The rules are the rules."

"Right," Elliot agreed. "If you want your employees to respect you, you can't let them walk all over you, can you?"

"Exactly," he said looking over at Fin. "He understands."

Fin narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips, saying nothing further on the subject. "Your wife," he told him, "doesn't give the best alibi ever."

"I wasn't aware I needed an alibi," Hunt said, unfazed.

"You don't," Elliot reassured him, "What Detective Tutuola means to say is that your wife was passed out the whole night, so she can't exactly vouch that you were there the whole night. You made her dinner?"

He smiled, "Yeah. We haven't sat down in awhile to eat. I thought it would be nice."

Elliot nodded, "I used to do things like that for my wife."

"What changed?"

"We got a divorce, my fiancée though, we have the same hours so I really can't surprise her often. It would be nice, though. You're wife seemed to appreciate it."

"Oh, she did." He boasted, "I'm a wonderful cook."

"Me," Fin said, "I couldn't cook to save my life."

Hunt's back straightened. "It requires a lot of time and talent." He looked over at Elliot, "About Elizabeth ... I don't know what else I can tell you."

"I'm sure there's something." Fin said. "Just keep thinking about it."

"Your wife," Elliot said, changing the topic. "She's busy a lot?"

"Her boss couldn't find his way out of a paper bag," Hunt said with a grunt. "He's always calling her into work because he can't find a file or he needs to the number of one of his clients. I don't understand how the idiot can be such a prominent lawyer."

"You don't worry that maybe there's something more going on between them," Fin suggested. "Maybe that's why he's always calling her."

Hunt half growled at Fin, "My wife is faithful."

"Really?" Fin asked, "We heard that she was going to file for divorce."

"Who told you that?" he demanded. "They lied."

"I don't know," Fin said. "I think maybe you made dinner for her because you were desperate and wanted something to keep her with you. That and it was an easy way to get a knock out pill in her wine."

"Why would I need to knock her out?" Hunt asked, sitting back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest.

"I don't know," Fin said. "Maybe so she wouldn't notice you sneak out of the house so you could rape Elizabeth Turner."

Hunt chuckled and looked over at Elliot, "Do people actually believe his crazy ideas?"

Elliot's expression didn't change and he didn't answer. Hunt looked back at Fin.

"I did not drug my wife," he told him as a matter-of-factly.

"You think that if we test her blood for any traces of drugs it will come back positive? You know most stay in the system for a couple of days."

Hunt didn't reply.

"Your wife was leaving you," Elliot said from his seat in the corner, "That was bad enough. But then Elizabeth had to go and ask for some time off. Like you said earlier, the rules are the rules, they can't be broken. Only, she didn't take it so well. Her sister was getting married, she was going to be the matron of honor, her son was going to be the ring carrier, she couldn't miss that. Either you let her off for those days or she was going to quit. She couldn't let that happen, you had to show her that breaking the rules was not allowed." His voice remained calm and understanding through his speech, though on the inside the urge to break the guys nose had been festering.

"Bitch threatened to leave me," Hunt growled. "Nobody leaves me."

"Your wife was going to," Fin said. "What about her?"

"Julie would never leave me," he spat out. "She's too much of a chicken to even think about it."

"But Elizabeth wasn't," Elliot agreed. "So you showed her."

A grin spread across Hunt's face, "Her door wasn't even locked, I just walked right in."

"Then?" Elliot asked, leaning forward in his chair.

"Her room was easy enough to find, it's only a two bedroom apartment, her son's room has his name on the outside. I just slipped in, she didn't even wake up. Even when I tied her up, she still slept. When I slapped her though, she woke up then. She tried to scream, but I had already taken care of that. When I was done I just left and went back home." His eyes sparkled with the memory, "The rules are the rules, she knew that. There are consequences, nobody leaves me."

Fin leaned back in his seat; "We're going to have to arrest you now."

Hunt stood and held out his hands. Fin took out his handcuffs and snapped them on his wrist, "George Hunt, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you can not afford an attorney one can be appointed to you...."

Elliot followed as Fin took Hunt out of the room, but stopped and went to talk with Olivia and Cragen, who were standing behind the tw0-way mirror. Alex and Huang were with them.

"Well, that was easy." He sighed, standing next to Olivia. "Fin is taking him to be booked. No doubt he'll call a lawyer, who will no doubt try to throw the confession out."

It was Alex's t urn to sigh, "Whoever he gets probably will, but there was nothing wrong with that confession. He wasn't under arrest, he knew that he could leave at any time, he chose to stay. You don't have anything to worry about."

"Alright," Cragen said. "You've only got about ten minutes before shift is up, why don't you guys just pack up and go. Tomorrow there's going to be a lot of paperwork to be done."

Olivia sighed, "Oh joy." She walked out of the room and Elliot followed, his hand once again finding its way to the small of her back. She looked up at him with a smile.

"Well, that was interesting. What's this about wanting to surprise me with dinner?"

He smiled, "I was just feeding into his ego."

"Right," she agreed. "Sure you were."

Laughing, he slipped his arm around her waist, and they walked out of the station together. "Since we're actually off on time today," he said as they got into their car, "how about we go out to eat."

"I don't know," she replied. "I hear you're a great cook who likes to surprise people with dinner."

"Kathleen could take the twins to see a movie," he suggested. "Give us some time alone."

A grin stretched across her face, "I like that idea."

**XXXX**

**A/N: Good God, that chapter was not supposed to be that long! Hope I didn't catch anybody off guard, it was at least 1,000 words more than my norm. Anyway, so maybe this isn't going to be ending as soon as I thought it would. But, I doubt it will go on much longer...**


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

How Does it Feel

Chapter Twenty-two

Disclaimer: As I have mentioned twenty one times previously, the show doesn't belong to me, the characters don't belong to me, and I do not make a profit off of this work of fiction.

XXXX

One month later:

Kathleen sighed as she sat down in front of the kitchen table, it was already 6:23 a.m. in the morning and after looking out the front window she had noticed that both Olivia and Elliot's cars were missing from the driveway. Since she had been at the basketball game until ten thirty and gone to sleep as soon as she came home at a few minutes before eleven she didn't know if they had either come home and been called out early or just not come home at all. The blinking light on the answering machine would probably have the answer for her and she grudgingly got up from the table to press the message button.

"Hey guys," her father's sleepy voice filled the air. "You're all sleeping right now ... Olivia and I were called into work early. I'm not sure when we're going to be home, but I'll make sure to call. Kathleen," he addressed her, although she already knew what was coming next, "I need you to take the twins to school and pick them up. They're going to complain about having to go early, I left some money on the counter. Get something to eat at a fast-food restaurant; it might make them less fussy. Be safe, I love you."

Groaning she turned on her heel and headed for the stares, the twins would have approximately half an hour to get ready before she had to leave for school. Dickey took showers at night and Liz took them in the morning, so it wouldn't be that hectic. She woke up Liz first, since it took her longer to get ready.

"Lizzie ... come on, it's time to wake up," she called out gently as she shook her shoulder. "I'm going to have to take you early again."

Lizzie grumbled something incoherently and rolled over, away from her big sister.

"Not so fast," Kathleen scolded. "You've gotta get up. You've only got half an hour to shower, dress, dry you hair, and get out the door."

Liz's eyes blinked open sleepily, "Where's dad?"

"At work," Kathleen explained. "Now come on and get out of bed so that I can go wake up Dickey without wondering if you've fallen back asleep or not."

She groaned and flung the covers off of herself, "I'm up..." she assured her, "I'm up."

"Good," Kathleen said. "Go get in the shower while I wake up Dickey." She walked out of the room; Liz on her heals, and crossed the hallway into Dickey's. He was sprawled out on the bed, the covers lying in a crumpled heap on the floor. Sighing to herself as she looked around the disastrous room she made her way to his bed, climbing over piles of dirty ... or maybe clean ... clothes and skateboards and various other things.

"Dickey," she said, nudging him in the shoulder. "Get up, you've got to start getting ready for school."

Snorting he turned and laid on his stomach, hiding his face in his pillow.

"Come on, Dickey. Liz already pulled this with me, get up." She nudged him again; he groaned and hid his head underneath a pillow in retaliation. "I'm not playing with you, Dickey." she warned, crossing her arms over her chest in frustration.

"Go away!" he called out sleepily.

Sighing to herself she contemplated on how to get him out of bed, since his head was covered turning on the light would be useless, he was oddly able to sleep through a blasting alarm, and asking politely was out of the picture. Grasping onto the elastic of his sleep-pants she pulled back a little and then let go. The elastic snapped back into place and against his skin, causing him to jump.

"Ouch," he moaned, rubbing the sore spot on his side.

"Oh, you're just a big baby." Kathleen chided, "I gave you plenty time to get up, now come on. I don't want to get in trouble for you being late."

Sitting up on the bed he ran a hand through his unruly hair, "Why isn't dad taking us?"

"He's working, now let's go."

He rolled his eyes at her bossiness; "I can't get dressed with you in here, Kath."

Kathleen groaned, turned, and walked out of the room. It was still just after 6:30 and as she passed the bathroom she heard the shower going, what could she do for half an hour?

Deciding that since she had a major AP History test during second period some studying wouldn't hurt she searched through her book bag for the nearly five-pound book. After flipping through chapter 21 for ten minutes she was confident that she would ace the test and pulled out her psychology notebook. For some odd reason her teacher thought that keeping a dream-log would benefit her students, Kathleen thought she just wanted to see what kind of dreams they were having.

Since she had told herself to remember her dream when she woke up it only took about five minutes to write the whole thing down. It was more of a distorted memory than it was a dream, though. In her dream she was a good three years younger, it was Maureen's last year in high school and her first, and they were arguing over how she would be getting home. Maureen detested the idea of taking her freshman sister home from school, even though their mother had threatened to take the car back if she didn't. In the end, Maureen couldn't face loosing her Grand AM, and gave in.

That's not what the dream was about though, there was a certain incident that still stuck out in her mind from time to time. As a devoted soccer player Kathleen vowed never to miss a practice, much to Maureen's unrest. Halfway through Kathleen's practice Maureen was called into work, there was no way she could get out of it. So, Kathleen was left at the school with no ride. She asked the upperclassmen on the team, but none of them lived close enough to where it wouldn't be out of their way. One of the sophomore girls let her borrow her cell phone though.

"Just don't stay on too long," Nikki had told her. "My mom will have a cow if I go over my minutes again."

Kathleen had nodded, dialed her father's cell phone, and waited for an answer. During the third ring he picked up, "Stabler."

"Daddy," she said nervously. "I ... uh, need a ride."

"Where's your sister?"

"Work, she got called in early."

He sighed, "I can't get you right now, but I'll call your mother or have somebody at the station pick you up."

"Thank you, daddy." She hung up the phone and handed it back to Nikki. "Thanks a lot."

"No problem. You know, you're a good player for a freshman. Lot better than I was last year," she smiled. "I'd give you a ride today, but I've got a dentist appointment in about twenty minutes." She climbed into her mother's blue Suburban. "See you tomorrow, Kay."

That was their nickname for her, Kay. Most of the girls on the team had names that could either be male or female, like Shannon and Taylor, so by the third practice they tried out everyone's name. Kathleen couldn't really be a male's name so the next best thing was Kay. Nikki was known as Nick on the field, Samantha was Sam, Amelia went by her middle name, Jo, Alicia was Al, and so on and so forth. It was stupid, but they were young and for some reason found it hilarious. Virtually everybody on the team had a bit of a dirty mind, so it was never a dull day.

Everything up until that point was the same, Maureen's call into work, her phone call to her father, Nick's dentist appointment. What happened after that was different. Fifteen minutes after hanging up with her father a car rolled up to the soccer field and the passengers' side window rolled down. In reality, her mother had been the one who picked her up, albeit grudgingly. Her dream, however, was a different story. Olivia was in the passengers' seat. Her hair just as short as it had been there, bangs off to one side.

"Get in," she said. "I'll drop you off at your house."

Kathleen climbed into the car and threw her book bag in the back seat haphazardly, "Mom couldn't come?"

"They're having a busy day down at the hospital," Olivia explained. "There was a bad pile up on the FDR."

She nodded, "Oh."

Olivia looked over at her; "You guys any good?"

"I guess so," Kathleen said with a shrug. "We haven't had a game yet, the season just started."

"Hmm," she said. "When is your first game at?"

"Next Thursday at 6:30." She fiddled with her ponytail, "Mom's coming ... dad said he would be there, but- well, I'm not expecting anything."

"I'll make sure he comes," Olivia assured her. "Even if I have to drag him out here myself."

Kathleen smiled, "You'd do that?"

"Of course," she said like it was ludicrous that Kathleen had to even ask. "I used to play soccer, it's been awhile since I've been to a game. I'd like to see one."

"Well, the player's family gets in half-price, so it'll only cost you 2 dollars." Kathleen explained, "All you've got to do is say you're like an aunt or something. If you're with dad they'll believe you."

Olivia nodded and went back to driving. Somewhere along the ride Kathleen looked back over at her to see her grinning at some obscure thought. Wondering what it is she was smiling about Kathleen sat back in the seat and watched out of the corner of her eye. Through the whole ride the smile stayed where it was. As soon as Olivia dropped her off and she slammed the car door shut she woke up. That was it, a simple, distorted memory from her freshman year. There was really no significance about it, and Kathleen wondered how it would help Mrs. Huntington understand her psyche, but she had the free time so what the hey.

A few minutes after she finished writing Dickey came bounding down the stairs, his eyes still heavy with sleepiness, and plopped his self down on the couch. Not long after that Liz followed, her eyes bright and ready for the day. Which, Kathleen had always thought was the best thing about showering in the morning, it had a way of waking you up. "You ready guys?" she asked, pickIing her keys up from the coffee table. "Dad left me some money to get you rug-rats some breakfast, so where do you wanna go?"

"Burger King," they said simultaneously.

"Ok," she said with a sigh. "Burger King it is."

XXXX

Across town Elliot waited for a phone call that both he and Olivia knew was coming. She would have to be at school in at least fifteen minutes, if she didn't want to be late. Sure enough, at 7:13, his cell-phone rang. After sharing a looking with Olivia he picked it up, "Stabler."

"Daddy," Kathleen greeted with a sigh. "That's the fourth time this month.... Next time do you think that you can give me a little more warning? What If I hadn't checked the machine?"

"I called the house, Dickey picked up." he explained, unfastening his seat belt as Olivia pulled into the parking lot of the hospital that their victim was in. "Listen, Kathleen, I'm in the middle of something bit. I'll talk to you when you get out of school. I promise you can fuss all you want to then, OK?"

"OK," she replied. "But that's only because you're busy and I need to get to class."

"Uh-huh," he agreed. "Bye, sweetheart."

"Bye daddy," she sighed before hanging up. Elliot turned his phone on silent and Olivia did the same, then they climbed out of the car and made their way into the hospital. It was going to be a long, hard day.

XXXX

His car pulled into the driveway around 1 o'clock in the morning, her car trailing close behind. They weren't finished with their case yet, but not much else could be done so early in the morning. It would have been easier to just stay at the house, but Elliot had to bring the kids to school in the morning. Even so, Olivia could have stayed in the crib, but she chose to go home with Elliot instead. Not surprisingly she found that it was hard to sleep alone now.

After he checked on the kids they climbed into their large King sized bed not even bothering to change out of their work clothes. Within minutes after Olivia set the alarm she was drifting off to sleep, the sound of Elliot's snoring barely registering in her mind.

XXXX

On their way back to work, after dropping the twins off at school, Elliot was strangely quiet. Olivia just figured that he was just busy stressing over their new case, but something about the expression on his face told her otherwise. It bothered her. After a few minutes of trying to ignore the frustrated look she spoke out about it.

"Elliot," she asked, turning in her seat to see him better. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head and stared ahead at the road, "Nothing."

"Bull, something's bothering you. What is it?"

"It's nothing, Olivia." he said with a sigh. "I was just ... thinking."

"About what?" she asked, not buying his attempt of an excuse.

Silence greeted her for a few minutes. Keeping his eyes staring straight ahead and his hands gripped firmly on the wheel Elliot did his best to ignore her all together.

"Elliot ... what were you thinking about?" She asked again, thinking that maybe if she cornered him he would finally tell her.

A sigh of frustration left his lips as he pulled into his usual parking space. As he turned to look at her she was surprised at the look of hurt in his eyes. "When I called Kathleen back yesterday, Elizabeth answered the phone."

"Ok ... what's so horrible about that?"

"Nothing," he told her, "that's not what got to me. What was, however, was the fact that she wanted to know if Kathy was going to come see her for Christmas and why she hadn't been with us for Thanksgiving."

"She knows that Kathy moved, right?" Olivia asked, "She's 12 years old, she should understand."

"She understands, but that doesn't make it any easier on her." He sighed, "I hope Kathy knows how much she screwed things up for them."

"I'm sure she wasn't thinking about that when she left. When was the last time that you heard from her?"

"I haven't," Elliot said, sighing again. "That note was the last contact that she made with us. I don't even want to try to understand how she could be so cold; they're her children for Christ's sake. They still love and need her." Looking over at her his expression softened, "You've been a good help, though. I'm not sure if it would have been possible if you hadn't let them move in with you, they really like you."

She smiled, "I'm glad."

He pulled in front of the station house and they climbed out of the car, shielding themselves against the wind, and walked as quickly as they could inside. They had another long day ahead of them.

XXXX

A/N: Alright, sorry about that stupid mistake again! I've been really distracted lately with exams and such, but that's all over now (thank God above) and Christmas break is finally here! Anyway, let me know what'cha think. 


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

**How Does it Feel**

**Chapter Twenty-three**

**Disclaimer: I don't own 'em**

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. I just got the internet on my laptop today! **

**XXXX**

2 ½ months later:

Olivia sat down at the kitchen table and sighed in frustration. Who knew that planning a wedding was so hectic? What color flowers to buy, who was going to sit where at the reception, what color would the bridesmaids wear, everybody had dumped everything on her- she barely had time to think. If she had known before how hard it would be she would have just asked Elliot to go to the courthouse or just elope.

"Hey, babe," Elliot greeted as he came into the kitchen. He stood behind her and rested his chin on her head, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "How's it going?"

She groaned in response.

"That well?" he asked with a chuckle, kissing the nape of her neck.

"You have no idea," she told him with a sigh.

"You're right," he agreed, "Kathy and I were married in a courthouse. I never had to go through this.... Do you want some help?"

"Mmm," she replied, "you think you can handle it?"

"I can try."

Turning around in her chair to look at him she gave him a small smile, "Well, sit down then."

"Why are you starting so early anyway?" he asked as he sat down in front of the table. "We still have over a month to go."

Olivia sent him a look, "I'm starting to think that I should have started sooner."

"It can't be that hard."

"Think again, bud." She handed him the seating chart she had been working on, "You tell me- where should we put Fin and Munch?"

"With the captain," he replied with a smug grin.

"The tables seat six," she told him as a matter-of-factly. "Now, again- where should we put Fin and Munch?"

"Just put them and the Captain at our table." The smug grin was still there, Olivia smiled.

"What about the kids?"

The grin fell, "Oh.... Yeah."

"Still waiting for an answer, o brilliant one."

He didn't reply.

"Mm-hmm...." the smug grin that had been on Elliot's face had manifested on hers. "Depending on whether they bring dates- which I think is safe to assume Munch won't, Cragen won't, and Fin will. So, that makes four people, we need two more. So, Casey has already informed me that unless some miracle of God knocks at her door before the wedding she will be coming sans a date. Huang has also mentioned that it is not likely that he'll have a date. Problem solved."

"You already had that planned," he accused.

She shook her head, "No. I didn't. I had been working on where to put your parents when you walked in."

"Where are mom and dad going to be?" he asked, looking at the book.

"Sitting with your sister, her husband, and the two little ones."

"Which sister?"

"Maggie."

"Good choice, dad doesn't exactly get along with Amy's husband."

She nodded, "I know."

"Of course you do," he said with a smile. "Well, you've proved to me that I know nothing about wedding planning."

"I didn't expect you to," she said with a grin. "It's nice to have company though. You're not busy?"

He shook his head, "I'm all yours."

She rolled her eyes playfully, "Lucky me."

**XXXX**

A week later she had finally finished the whole seating chart, having had every RSVP returned she knew who all would be attending, and if they were going to bring a guest with them or not. She had been correct, Munch and Cragen both said they would be coming alone, Fin was bringing somebody, and both Huang and Casey had reported that, sadly, they had no dates.

So, with the seating finally aside she could focus on other aspects of the wedding. They had already agreed Elliot's six-year-old niece would be the flower girl and Olivia's eight-year-old cousin (on her mother's side, of course) would be the ring barer. The groomsmen would be Munch, Fin, Elliot's two brothers, and Dickey. It had been decided (after hours of discussion) that the maid of honor would be Maureen, since she was older and had always been closer to Olivia. The bridesmaids would be Casey, Kathleen, Lizzie, and Elliot's sisters, whom Olivia had met only a month prior. Olivia had asked Cragen if he would give her away, since he was the closest man to her, besides Elliot, Munch, and Fin. He hadn't really agreed, but the hug had done the talking for him.

With that out of the way they had to focus in on the specifics of the wedding, they already knew where they would have it, at the church Elliot and the kids had attended for years- Olivia also had started going, although she wasn't raised Cathloic. In fact, she hadn't been raised anything, her mother's religion had always been alcohol. What they had to decide on now was the color of the bridesmaids dresses, which she had already suggested lilac, Elliot hadn't had any objects, the color of the flowers (normally the same color of the bridesmaids dresses), she wanted lilac and white. She still had yet to pick out her dress, or the dresses the bridesmaids would wear, but there was still over a month. She had plenty of time....

"Well find the dresses first thing this weekend," Olivia blurted out while she and Elliot lay in bed. "We should probably leave time for error, just in case."

"Ok..." he was tired, they had been talking about the wedding nearly the whole night. "That's fine with me."

"While I'm looking you should probably figure out what type of suit the guys are going to be wearing."

"Just the normal tux, Liv. Nothing extravagant."

She sighed, "Yes, but I'd like you to have the specific tux already picked out, so that they can be fitted as soon as possible."

"Alright, we'll do that this weekend too."

"Lilac is alright with you, right?" she asked, "Because if you don't like it we can pick out another color. Light blue or something like that...."

"Olivia," he said with a sigh of his own. "It's almost one in the morning, do you think we could possibly discuss this later?"

"Sure," she agreed. "But don't think I'll forget about this. Trust me, I'll remember."

"I never doubted." he said, kissing her gently. "Go to sleep. Purple is fine with me."

"Lilac," she corrected. "There's a big difference."

"Of course there is," he agreed. "We have to be up early ... get some sleep."

And she did.

**XXXX**

When the one-month mark finally rolled around Olivia was beginning to become frantic. The measurements for the suits had gone through fine, they would be in before a week was over, but the dresses had been another story. Something had gone wrong with Elliot's sister, Maggie's, dress, and it had screwed up the whole dress-making process. They wouldn't be in before two weeks before the wedding, which might not be so bad if everything was in perfect order. If something else went wrong she wasn't sure if there would be time to fix it. And to make things worse Elliot's ring was a size to small, it would need to be sent back to be sized, that would take over a week. The flowers still had to be ordered and to top it all off, she was late.

Not late as in late-for-a-meeting late, but late as in- late. Over a week late. She was taking the pill, but that wasn't always 100, there was room for error. She had yet to tell Elliot, she had been late before, it might not be anything to worry about- but she was worried. It was just something to be added to her list of worries ... although it was a little more pressing than the size of a dress or the flower arrangements. But, until she was sure she wouldn't say anything. No use getting everybody worked up for nothing, and by everybody she meant Elliot. The last thing he needed was to worry about another mouth to feed when there was the chance there wouldn't even be one.

So she would have to wait, it was too early for a test so waiting was the only choice.

Wait.

Shouldn't be so complicated, right?

**XXXX**

A week later:

Wait.

Again, she was waiting. Although a minute was hardly the same as a week and a half. Of course, she could have taken the test a few days sooner, but she had put it off. She had been busy- she had been scared. When she couldn't put it off any longer she bought a test on her way home from work. Elliot was working a case with Munch and they would be working late, so she had just decided to walk. It wasn't that far away.

So, she waited. She had grown to hate waiting, but patience was a virtue, was it not? It had been thirty seconds already, but even that short amount of time was way too long for her- she wasn't sure if she should be feeling anxious or worried. Sure, she was looking forward to being the kids step-mother, but they were already grown up, they really didn't need her help with much except for homework and the occasional boy-trouble. She was happy to help with things like that, but was she ready to be a mother? Was a baby something she was ready for?

Forty-five seconds past. Only fifteen more to go. God, why did these things take so long? She picked up the small device and stared at it, hoping that by doing so she would make it go faster somehow. It didn't work. Ten seconds left.... Five seconds left. She put it back down and sat on the side of the tub.

She didn't want to know.

After sitting there for a good five minutes she finally managed to gather enough courage to stand and take the three or so steps over to the bathroom sink. She picked the test and held her breath.

One line.

At first the was relieved, one line meant no pregnancy. She was only really, really late- which was something she didn't really mind anymore. But, after the initial relief passed disappointment stepped in. She hadn't realized it before, but she had wanted the test to come back positive. No matter how nervous she had been or how much she had doubted her abilities as a mother, she wanted to be one. She threw the test into the garbage, covered it with some toilet paper, just in case, and sat on the edge of the tub once more.

She wasn't going to be a mother.

Not yet, at least.

**XXXX**

A week before the wedding things were finally falling into place. After being depressed over not being pregnant for a few days she got back into the sync of things. Maybe she wasn't pregnant just yet, but she had plenty of time, she'd be a mother one day. The dresses had finally come in, they were perfect, Elliot's ring had come in, it fit perfectly, and the flowers had been ordered two days before. They would be ready the day before the wedding. Everything was going smoothly. She couldn't believe it.

Three days before the wedding, Elliot and Olivia walked into the station house, only instead of it being bright and busy as it normally was it was dark and empty. All the lights were turned off and there were no noises- anywhere. Placing her hand on her gun instictively she walked over to where the light switches were and flipped them.

"Surprise!"

She almost had a heart-attack, but smiled nonetheless. It was fairly strange to have a surprise party thrown at a police station, but when she glanced over at the cocky grin on Elliot's face she knew he had something to do with it.

"Elliot Stabler!" she said in surprise when she made her way back over to him, "What is this?"

"A party," he said with a grin.

"I can see that ... why?"

"We're getting married in three days.... You haven't forgotten, have you?"

She glared at him, "That's not what I meant, and you know it."

"Do I?"

She would have continued the conversation if it hadn't been for the fact that the two had then been crowded by co-workers giving them their congratulations before going back off to work. It didn't surprise her much, it wasn't like they could have a full-out party. It wasn't like they could push crime aside because of a wedding that was frowned upon in the first place. So, after ten minutes of talking and laughing, they went back to work. Though, she couldn't contain the smile on her face.

"Thank you," she said to Elliot as they sat down at their desks. "This was really ... unexpected."

"You're welcome," he told her, still grinning. "I'm glad you liked it."

"I almost drew my gun," she confessed with an embarrassed chuckle. "I had my hand on it, I had already unbuttoned the holister."

He smiled, "Yeah.... Well, you didn't, so everything is OK."

She nodded and they went back to work. But the smile on her face would not go away, no matter how much she tried to hide it. She was excited. She was getting married in three days. And although she wasn't pregnant she and Elliot had lots of time to get there. And, well....

She was getting married in three days.

**XXXX**

**A/N: Well, there it is. The last chapter will probably be the last and I might do an epilogue. So, let me know what you think about it!**


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

**How Does it Feel**

**Chapter Twenty Four**

**Disclaimer: Well, let's see here. The show doesn't belong to me and neither do the characters that appear on the show. The various small roles in here whom don't appear on the show do belong to me, and I make no profit off of my fiction.**

**A/N: Alright, so I know that currently on the show Maureen is only 20- but my story has bypassed the show and is in the spring/summer of 2005. I am assuming that Maureen would be a year older by then, but I don't know for sure. Nonetheless, as of now Maureen is 21.**

**XXXX**

Two days later:

Olivia woke up early that morning- it was, of course, the eve before her wedding, there was much to do. The sun was barely peaking over the horizon when she slipped out from under the covers, away from her sleeping husband-to-be, and quietly made her way out of the bedroom. First thing she did was start a pot of coffee and turn on the news- the weather would be in the early 70's and there was no sign of showers. After the coffee had finished she made two cups, one for her and the other for Maureen, who was sleeping in her sister's room. As soundlessly as she could she made her way into Kathleen's bedroom and gently shook Maureen awake. The twenty-one-year-old college student groaned and tried to roll over on the blow-up mattress she was sleeping on.

"Maureen," Olivia whispered. "Come on, wake up. You said you'd come with me to pick up the flowers and dresses."

"Five more minutes," she begged, pulling the sheets over her eyes. For what reason, Olivia was unsure, it was still dark outside and in the room.

"I made coffee," Olivia informed her. "Get your lazy butt up."

The covers were lowered and Maureen's face appeared, she glared at her enervated. "What time is it?"

"Almost 6," Olivia managed to hold in her laughter at the annoyed look that manifested on Maureen's face when she realized just how early it was. "Oh, don't be such a baby- we have to be at the shop at 7, and you want to take a shower, don't you?"

Maureen grumbled something incoherently and scooted herself out of the bed, throwing the blankets behind her haphazardly. "Fine." was all she said as she sulked out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen with one thing on her mind- a hot cup of coffee.

**XXXX**

The arrived at the flower shop five minutes after seven. Maureen was fully awake by then and her earlier disdain for being awake at such an ungodly hour had long since dissipated and the excitement of the day had taken over. She was nearly bouncing off the walls- which might have had something to do with the fact that she had three cups of coffee at the house and then one on the way to the shop. Or, it could have just been because her father was getting married the next day and she was going to be the maid-of-honor. Olivia figured both were good reasons and left it at that.

The rehearsal was scheduled for seven o'clock that night- exactly half a day away. But until then Olivia had her plate full. After she dropped the flowers off at the church, she and Maureen had to drive across town to pick up the bridesmaids dresses, as well as her own. Once that was done they would have to pick up the tux's and then take those back to the church as well. They finished with that around 11:20, whereupon they went out for lunch.

At 11:42 her cell-phone rang. Looking at the caller ID she saw that it was Elliot and answered on the second ring. "Benson." it had become a long-time habit of hers, since most of the time when her phone rang it was somebody from work, she needed to sound professional. Thankfully, she wouldn't have to change it, they had decided to leave her last name the same, at least while at work. It would become way too confusing to have two Stabler's, especially when they were partners.

"Hey, babe." he greeted. "Where are you and Maureen at?"

"We stopped to get some pizza real quick. How are things back at the house?"

"Kathleen just made the kids something to eat- they've calmed down for food, thankfully. They're just excited for the rehearsal tonight. Although, Kathleen was a bit upset that you didn't wake her up this morning."

"I tried," Olivia told him. Which was the truth, she had shook Kathleen for nearly five minutes before letting Maureen try to wake her. Neither one had any positive results, it was like the girl was dead to the world. "She just wouldn't wake up for anything."

"Get's it from her grandfather," he said with a sigh. "I told her you probably did. Anyway, how is everything? Good, I hope."

"Everything is fine, hon. The dresses are all the perfect sizes, as are the tuxedos. The flowers are the right color and type. So far, so good." Which was something different. So many things had gone wrong in the previous month that Olivia was sure the wedding would be a disaster.

"That's a relief," he told her with a sigh. "Well, don't let me interrupt your lunch. Just call back when you've got everything done."

"Alright," she agreed. "I'll talk to you later."

"'K. Bye, Liv. Love you."

"I love you, too." she replied before hanging the phone up and taking a bite of her pizza. She and Maureen still had a long day ahead of them.

**XXXX**

It was nearly six o'clock before they got everything done and at the church. Luckily they were there because she had only about an hour until the rehearsal began- not nearly enough time to get everything sorted out and ready. Thankfully they had decided to forgo the wearing of the dresses and tuxedos, so she wouldn't have to waste her time changing. Still, the rest of the bridesmaids would be arriving soon thereafter to receive their dresses, as would the groomsmen.

Half an hour before seven there was a knock at the room that she would be getting ready in the next day. She called out to whoever it was, allowing them to enter, and leaned back in the chair she had been sitting in. It had been a long day for her, she was nearly exhausted. It was amazing how she could go days without sleep while working, but when it came to planning her own wedding it took all her effort.

"Hey," a gentle voice called from the other side of the room. It took less than a second for her to recognize the voice as Elliot's and she looked up at him with a tired smile.

"Hi."

"You had a tough day?" he was only asking for confirmation of what he already knew to be the truth. How could running around the city from sun up to mid-afternoon not be tough?

"It wasn't that bad," a lie- they both knew it.

He slowly made his way over to her, then pulled her out of her chair and into his arms. "Did Maureen talk you into staying at her dorm tonight?"

Olivia chuckled softly, "Actually, she did. Tradition, you know?"

"Yeah, yeah. She's big on that for some reason." he kissed her briefly, "I'll miss you tonight."

"I'm sure the guys will keep you busy with whatever they've got planned." she pointed out to him.

Elliot groaned in response, "Oh yeah. I'm sure whatever they're planning is going to make me just as miserable as whatever Maureen is planning."

"Oh, God," Olivia said with a groan of her own. "I forgot about that.... Can't we just run off and elope?"

He shook his head, "Only half a day, babe."

She nodded, "Yeah... half a day."

Maybe there was only half a day left- but, knowing Maureen it would be the longest half day of her life.

**XXXX**

Olivia turned and looked over her shoulder, sending a very nasty look to her step-daughter. Well, she was almost her step-daughter- in a couple of hours. But that didn't particularly matter at the moment, she would be killing Maureen all the same, step-daughter or no. Pulling something like this! She had suspected, but... her first act as step-mother would be to ground her!

Oh... damn. She couldn't do that, Maureen was already in college.

"Come on Olivia," the 21 year old said, sending her a devilish smile. "This is your last night of freedom, have fun."

She grumbled something about having more fun if Elliot was the one giving her a strip-tease and turned back around. Maureen had set up a bachelorette party for her, because "every woman needs one before she gets married... it's tradition". Tradition her right foot, she was sure Maureen had set this up as much for her self as for her future step-mother. Nonetheless, Olivia did have to admit the man that they had hired was very nice looking... as long as he kept the thong on everything would be ok.

Oh... and there went the thong. Olivia could feel her eyes widen and she turned back around and looked directly at Maureen, "Maureen Diane Stabler- you better have not requested that!"

Maureen smiled but didn't reply. So she had requested that.

A few minutes later the man finished his... dance and went off to change, or rather to get dressed. Olivia was finally free to have a chat with the young woman. Maureen smiled at Olivia as she walked towards her, "Have fun?"

"It was certainly... interesting."

"I thought the badge was a nice touch." she stated, taking a sip of her drink.

"It was the only thing he was wearing!"

"Yeah..." she agreed, "I know."

Olivia had to laugh, so maybe she wasn't mad at Maureen. She was a college student, who could blame her? "Thanks for this though. You didn't have to throw me a party, I would have been fine with just staying home."

"And let Dad and the guys have all the fun? Heck no, and besides Maggie helped me plan everything."

Olivia looked across the room at Elliot's youngest sibling, the thirty-three year old smiled at her and waved, a knowing look dancing in her eyes. Olivia waved back, laughing and turned to look at Maureen once more. "I wonder what Munch has your father in to...."

**XXXX**

Elliot sighed and grabbed a beer from the bar, thankful that the stripper had finally finished her... act and gone off to get dressed. His eyes darted around the room and fell upon the man responsible, of course he didn't know for sure if Munch had planned the entire bachelor's party, but he had a pretty good idea that he did. Munch flashed him a knowing smile and motioned for him to come over and talk with him and Fin. Elliot nodded and walked through the crowd of men towards the two.

"Munch, you know I didn't want a stripper." he stated, taking a swig of his beer.

"Yeah," he grinned. "I know you didn't."

Ah ha. Elliot knew it. "What time is it?"

"It's almost midnight." Fin supplied, glancing at his watch. "I hope you don't think you're leaving this early. We've still got over an hour booked."

"I'm not leaving," he assured him. "I was just going to call Olivia and see how things are going over there."

"Uh huh," Munch said in his normal skeptical way. "Or did you want to check up on her and make sure she's not having a better time than you are?"

Elliot scowled. He did.

"I'm going to find my dad... I'll talk to you guys later."

"Yeah, bye."

Elliot once again began walking through the crowd of people, searching for his father. He came upon the man, talking to his brother-in-law- Amy's husband. It was no secret that neither man enjoyed the others company, and it looked like nothing had changed.

"Oh boy..." he sighed, walking over to the two in hopes of calming things down.

He had a long night ahead of him.

**XXXX**

Olivia managed to make it to Maureen's dorm-room at half after one, she had to order the girl to take her because she had to wake up at seven the next morning in order to get things for the wedding ready. Maureen finally figured that once Olivia was asleep she wouldn't have to hear her obsess over her fear that something was going to go wrong and thus ruin her wedding, so she agreed to leave.

Maureen was a senior so she had her own dorm, and thankfully the room was big enough for her to have a couch that turned into a bed so sleeping arrangements would be no problem. She had opted to let Olivia sleep in the actual bed and take the couch, since Olivia was the one who was getting married later that morning.

Neither woman bothered to change out of the clothes they had been wearing, both were dressed simply, just jeans and t-shirts, so they would both sleep comfortably. Olivia was used to sleeping in regular clothes, she had done so many times in the crib at work. Same with Maureen, the girl had fallen asleep in her day clothes many times, most times at her desk while studying for an exam. So, both would sleep easy. And they did, almost instantly.

Back at their home Elliot was just slipping into bed himself. He had spent most of the party trying to cool things between his father and brother in law down, to no avail, and was worn out from arguing with the two. Instead of changing into something else he simply took off his shirt and laid down. It wasn't long before he too was sleeping.

**XXXX**

Things were hectic the next morning. Olivia woke up just before seven and rushed to get changed and headed towards the church. She was wearing jogging pants and a button up shirt so that she could change without messing up her hair. Maureen too had dressed similarly to her, although the shirt was more warranted in her case since her hair was actually long enough to where something could actually be done with it. In Olivia's case her's would be flipped out like it normally was. It would be covered by her veil anyway.

They arrived at the church at just after seven thirty and Olivia went straight to work. She made sure all the bridesmaids dresses were there and accounted for and the flowers were still alive. Everybody would be arriving to get ready at nine o'clock and the wedding was scheduled for noon. At around 8:45 Kathleen and Lizzie found their way into the dressing room and Maureen started on Lizzie's hair while Kathleen went to reassure Olivia that everything on her father's end was going smoothly.

By nine thirty everybody had arrived and had started on their hair. At just after ten thirty they were getting out their dresses and putting them on. By eleven o'clock everybody was ready and the only thing left to do was their make-up, which by 11:15 they were all finished with that. After that they just had to wait.

It was going to be a small wedding, only family and friends- and of course the co-workers who had decided to come. Which Olivia would be surprised if a third of them showed up. All in all they were expecting at the most 75 to a hundred people. The church had room for nearly 500. But Olivia didn't mind, she preferred a smaller wedding anyway.

At fifteen til Olivia was starting to get nervous. In her mind she could see thousands of things going wrong- the worst being Elliot coming to his senses and not being at the end of the isle when 'here comes the bride' began to play. The girls noticed her uneasiness immediately and crowded around her, reminding her of how much their father loved her and how happy they were that she was going to officially be their stepmother. A few minutes before twelve they all got into a line in front of the doors that lead into the sanctuary. And then at twelve the doors opened and Amy's youngest daughter Victoria and Olivia's cousin Bradley went down the isle.

After that Maureen walked down the isle, then as the bridesmaids started walking down after her Olivia looked over at Cragen, "This is it." She whispered with a smile. "Thank you for doing this, Don."

"I'm honored to, Liv. Now be quiet, we're next." he winked and looked ahead, Kathleen, the last of the bridesmaids was starting down the isle. In a few seconds her cue would begin.

And then there it was. The utterly annoying "dum dum dum dum" of 'here comes the bride'. Taking a deep breath she began to walk down the isle, and towards her future.

**XXXX**

Elliot held his breath as the doors to the sanctuary opened- in any minute Olivia would be walking down the isle towards him. But first the flower girl and ring barer had to go, then the bridesmaids and groomsmen would follow. Last but not least Don would escort Olivia down the isle before he would hand her off to Elliot.

The familiar, yet annoying, tune of here comes the bride suddenly began playing and Elliot focused on the front of the sanctuary, where Olivia and Don appeared in the doorway. When Olivia saw him she smiled and they began to walk down the isle.

He took a deep breath and waited for them to make it to the end of the isle. They finally made it to the end of the isle and Cragen let go of Olivia's arm and Elliot took his place.

This was it. He was getting married.

_That's all folks!_

**XXXX**

**A/N: Alright so this is the last official chapter. Don't worry though, I could never end it there. There's going to be an epilogue coming sometime soon (when I write it, of course). So, anyway. Let me know what you think.**


	25. Epilogue

**How Does it Feel?**

**Epilogue**

**Disclaimer: Oh... didn't you hear? Last night Dick Wolf gave the show to me... um, oh wait- that was a dream. Oops, guess they still don't belong to me then. Darn.**

**XXXX**

_5 months later:_

Olivia set the test down on the counter in the bathroom and then took her own seat on the edge of the bathtub. This was certainly familiar- Deja vu, all over again. Only then she hadn't thought she was ready to be a mother... did she think she was ready now? Was that the reason she wasn't flipping out like she had been six moths prior?

So... this was it- again. She had to wait. Only a few minutes, it wasn't that much time to wait. Impatience was something she was plagued with, though... waiting was agony. Her foot tapped against the floor of the bathroom nervously and her arms were crossed over her chest, as she rocked back and forth on the edge of the tub. No... she wasn't crazy- just really, really nervous.

A knock at the door nearly made her fall off the edge of the tub and onto the floor, but she managed to grab hold of the very edge she was sitting on and maintain her balance. "Olivia?" Kathleen's voice came through the door, "Dad's on the phone."

"Tell him I'll call him back," she replied with a shaky voice, hoping the seventeen year old wouldn't pick up on it.

"Oh, alright." Kathleen said. There was hushed talking and then the beeping of somebody hanging up the phone. A few seconds later there was another knock. "Olivia... can I come in?"

Olivia hesitated, there was only thirty seconds left to wait... did she want Kathleen with her for this?

Then again, why wouldn't she? Kathleen was her step-daughter, she loved her like her own. "Sure," she answered. "Come on in."

The door to the bathroom opened and the teen stepped inside, "What's wrong, Olivia? You don't sound so good."

"Sit down," she motioned towards the toilet. Kathleen did as told and as she did she noticed the EPT that was sitting on the counter.

"Is that...?"

Olivia nodded.

A large smile spread across the girls face, "Are you?"

Olivia shrugged, "I'm still waiting."

"Does dad know?" Kathleen asked, glancing at the test once more.

"No... he doesn't." Olivia informed her. "And, unless it comes back positive, he won't."

Kathleen nodded, "I understand, I won't tell him."

"No," Olivia agreed. "You won't tell him, or anybody else. Not even Maureen... alright?"

"Of course." She was silent for only a few seconds, "How much longer?"

Olivia stared at her blankly, she had completely lost track of time. Thirty seconds had to have already come and gone... the test was finished. "It should be done...."

"Well?" she asked. "Let's look at it!"

Olivia nodded, took a deep breath, and stood up. With shaky hands she picked the test up, although she kept her eyes on Kathleen. Damn it, she was afraid again. She wasn't ready to be a mother... she wasn't ready.

She might not have a choice, though.

"Well," Kathleen repeated. "Come on, Liv... what does it say?"

"I don't want to know," Olivia confessed. She shoved the test over in Kathleen's direction, "You look first."

Kathleen took the EPT and looked down at it. Without a word, or any kind of facial expression, she handed it back to her step-mother. "Here... take it- look."

Olivia sighed and took the test back, but still kept her eyes on the teenager. "I'm so nervous, Kathleen. I'm not ready to be a mother."

"You've been a mother for a long time now, Olivia...." Kathleen informed her.

"That's different... you guys are grown up. It's not the same as a baby."

"No," Kathleen agreed. "It's not. But, if that test is positive then you really don't have a choice- you're gonna be a mother. If it's negative, well- then you don't have to worry about it." She smiled, "If it's worth anything, I think you're more than ready."

"Thank you... that means a lot to me."

"Good, now look!"

Olivia gave up. She was going to have to look some time or another, why not get it over with quickly. Holding her breath she looked down at the EPT.

Two lines.

She was going to be a mother.

"Oh... my... God." she breathed. "It's... I'm...."

Kathleen nodded furiously, "You're pregnant!"

Before Olivia knew it Kathleen was out of her seat and her arms were thrown around Olivia's neck. "I'm so excited! We have to call dad... and Maureen! The twins are downstairs... come on, let's go!" She grabbed hold of Olivia's hand and dragged her out of the bathroom.

Olivia was still a bit stunned- she was pregnant. This time it was real, not a false alarm.

She was going to be a mother.

**XXXX**

_3 months later:_

"Do you want to know the sex?" The doctor, Patricia Adams, asked them.

Olivia glanced over at Elliot, did he want to know? He had told her that with Maureen, Kathleen, Liz, and Dickey it had been a surprise. Maureen because the technology wasn't there yet, and the others because it had been what Kathy wanted. "Do you?" she asked.

"It's your choice, hon." he told her with a smile.

"But he or she is just as much yours and mine." she replied, looking at the computer screen.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I want it to be a surprise," she confessed. "But, if you want to know th–"

Elliot looked at the doctor, "We're gonna wait."

Dr. Adam's nodded, "Most do with their first.... Well, I can tell you that your baby is healthy, and you're about 14 weeks along. But, you already knew that from the last visit."

Olivia nodded and looked back at the computer screen, a small and constant 'beep' filled the air... her child's heartbeat. The ultrasound machine was probably her favorite technology at this point, she was amazed at all the things the doctors could know by simply running an instrument over her stomach.

"Well," Dr. Adams continued, "I'm going to have the picture printed out for you, then get you cleaned up so that you can leave." The nodded and the woman left the room.

Olivia looked back at the screen, since the doctor was no longer working the instrument over her slightly swelled stomach there was no actual footage on the computer, instead the picture that the doctor was undoubtably printing off. She grinned, it was so strange- that blob on the screen was actually her child, still in the womb.

"So," Elliot asked, running a hand through her hair affectionately. "How does it feel?"

She didn't need to ask him what he meant, it was understood. He wanted to know how it felt to be able to see her child, "It's amazing."

**XXXX**

_3 months later:_

3:21 AM

She woke up at a sharp stab of pain in her stomach. That was definitely different from the normal kicks and other movements that she normally felt during various parts of the day- this one truly hurt. When nothing else happened she chalked it up to a restless baby and laid her head back down on the pillow, cuddling up to her husband. But, a few minutes later, the same sharp stab demanded her attention.

Something wasn't right.

"Alright," she whispered. "I'm awake... what now?"

Nothing.

Holding her bulging stomach with both hands she scooted towards the end of the bed, careful not to wake Elliot up. Throwing her legs over the edge of the bed she was greeted by another stab of pain, this time she couldn't help herself, she whimpered.

Something definitely wasn't right.

Her feet made contact with the cold, hard floor and she padded around to the other side of the bed. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that Elliot wake up, after all. "Honey," she called out, shaking his shoulder gently. "Wake up...."

He mumbled something incoherent and rolled over, burrowing his face in his pillow.

"Elliot." she said, no longer whispering. Yet another stab of pain in her stomach told her that she needn't go about this the polite way. That man needed to wake up- now.

She pulled the covers off of him, "Something's wrong."

**That** got his attention. His eyes snapped open and he turned around in bed, "What is it?" he demanded, sitting up.

"I don't know," she informed him. "I think I'm having contractions."

"You think?"

"That, or our baby is gonna be one hell of a kick-boxer." she said with a smile, hoping to lighten the air. No such luck, she was still worried and now so was Elliot.

"Do you want me to call the doctor?" he asked, worry washing over his face.

"I think–" before she could finish her sentence the now familiar stab made it's presence known again. It was getting progressively worse, though, and she nearly doubled over in pain. A moan of pain escaped her lips and she had to hold on to his shoulders for support. "We need to go to the hospital... now."

He stood up, took her in his arms and helped her out of the bedroom and into the livingroom- whereupon he sat her firmly on the couch. "I'm going to get you some shoes and wake Kathleen up... I'll be back in a second."

She nodded and he ran off. Not even two minutes later he was back in the livingroom, now wearing a bit more than his boxer shorts, and helped her into a pair of flip-flops. A few seconds later, Kathleen came down the stairs wearing her robe.

"What's wrong?" she demanded, making her way to the couch where her step-mother was sitting.

"I don't know," Olivia informed her with a grimace. "I think I'm having contractions."

"You can't be," Kathleen said, concern passing through her eyes. "You're not even 8 months along yet."

"Tell that to your brother or sister," Olivia said with a snort. "You hear that?" she asked, looking down at her stomach, "You're early.... You're supposed to stay in there for another month."

"Come on, Olivia," Elliot said as he helped her off the couch. "Kathleen, call the hospital and tell them we're on our way- then get the twins up and bring them there."

"Alright," she agreed. "Be careful."

Elliot nodded, "Go... call them."

Kathleen scurried off towards the kitchen and Elliot and Olivia headed out the front door.

**XXXX**

_18 hours later_

It turned out Olivia had been right. The sharp pains that had woken her up were indeed contractions. Which wasn't exactly a good thing this early in the pregnancy. Of course, babies were born at much earlier dates on many occasions, but it was never a good thing- even if the end results were such.

The doctor that met them when they arrived at the hospital immediately took her to the ER and got her prepped for the delivery. For awhile it was touch-and-go. They weren't sure if she would be able to deliver the baby as per norm, a cesarean section might have to be preformed, for both the mother and the child's safety. However, in the end, they decided that aside from the fact that she was a month and a half early, a normal delivery would be best.

For the lighter part of sixteen hours she pushed and strained and yelled. Throughout the whole time Elliot was by her side, holding her hand, and whispering words of comfort in her ear. Although, the latter didn't help much.

Kathleen and the twins arrived about half an hour after Olivia was brought into the ER, and an hour after that Maureen made an appearance. It was still too early at that time to call anybody else to inform them of her early-labor, but at 9 o'clock, well into her third hour of labor, Maureen went off to call Munch, Fin, Cragen, Alex, and Huang.

Out of the five the first to make it was Alex, since she was Olivia's best friend she got up immediately after Maureen called. After her was Cragen, then Munch and Fin arrived within the same half hour, Huang, however, couldn't make it- some kind of FBI official business. Although, at the moment Olivia could care less _who_ was there while she gave birth. She was in too much pain to even recognize anybody other than Elliot. And that was only because she was clutching onto his hand so tightly she figured they would be like that permanently.

"Alright, Mrs. Stabler," the doctor called out to her, "one last push."

Olivia nodded through the pain, lunged forward, grabbing her knees, and pushed as hard as she could. When she could push no more she fell back onto the hospital bed, exhausted. Elliot brushed the hair out of her face and for the first time she was vaguely familiar of a shrill crying in the room.

It took her a few seconds to realize that the shrill crying she heard meant that it was over, she could finally rest. Glancing over at the doctors huddled together she attempted to get a peak at the baby, but she could see nothing through the mass of white lab coats. She looked over at Elliot with a weak smile, "The baby?" she asked hopefully.

"They're just making sure that it's alright, hon." he informed her. "He or she is very premature, you know."

"Yeah," she sighed. Another wail broke the silence and her head snapped back to where the doctors were taking care of her baby. "Doctor Travis?" she inquired weakly.

The brunette woman turned around and smiled at her briefly, "Just cleaning him off."

"Him?" she questioned, glancing at Elliot. "It's a him?"

"Yes, Olivia," Dr. Travis said with another smile. "You had a boy."

"A boy," she echoed, looking at Elliot again. "A boy."

Elliot smiled and kissed her on the forehead, "Yeah, babe... a boy."

A few minutes later, after the doctors had cleaned him up and made sure that he was OK, they brought him over and placed him in her arms.

"Congratulations, Olivia," Dr. Travis told her, "at 10:27 pm, you have birth to a four pounds three and a half ounces baby boy."

She sat up in the bed and cradled him in her arms, glancing up at Elliot, "You got your wish." She said with a smile, "Another boy."

"I'm just glad he's healthy," Elliot told her. "How are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine, just a bit tired." She smiled, "This is well worth it."

Obviously, when the doctor left the room she went to inform those in the waiting room that Olivia had given birth to a small, but healthy, baby boy, because the next thing she knew she was surrounded by family and friends, each wanting a look at the baby. She herself hadn't gotten a good look at him so for the time being she ignored them and gave all attention to the tiny child in her arms.

"Hi," she whispered, gazing into his dark blue eyes. "I'm your momma."

She surveyed his appearances, his eyes were, of course, blue. As most newborns are. He didn't have much hair- due to the fact he was a month and a half early, and his skin was still bright red but that was to expected, he was only a few minutes old. She gently took a hand out from the bundle he was in, counted the fingers, then did the same with the other hand and feet. With a quick stop on the way to make sure other things were correct. In the end she was satisfied, ten fingers and ten toes. To her, he was perfect.

"So," Lizzie's voice broke her musing and forced her back into reality. "What are you going to name him?"

Olivia glanced at her husband with an unsure look, "I'm not sure... we haven't really talked about it since we we're waiting to know the sex."

"He's a boy," Kathleen informed her with a smile. "So... what are you going to name him?"

Olivia smiled despite her exhaustion, "I guess we'd better figure this out before I pass out, huh?"

Elliot smiled and ran a hand over the small amount of hair his son had grown. "What do you think?" he asked, looking up at his wife.

"He looks like a Matthew to me," she suggested. "Do you like that? Matthew?"

"Matthew is perfect," he assured her, kissing her briefly and then kissing Matthew's nearly bare head.

"What about his middle name?" Dickey asked, "He's got to have a middle name."

"How about William," Maureen suggested. "After grandpa."

Elliot smiled, looking up at his oldest daughter. "That's a wonderful idea, Maureen."

The twenty-one year old smiled, then looked over at Olivia, "I'm going to take back home... OK?"

Olivia smiled, "Drive safely."

Maureen nodded, told the girls and Dickey to say goodbye, and promised to bring them by the next day so they could see the baby. Then they left the room, making it significantly less crowded.

"Matthew William Stabler, huh?" Alex asked, "That's a mouthful."

"I think it's beautiful," Olivia informed her. Alex nodded.

"Of course it is," she kissed Matt on the forehead as well. "You take care, Olivia... you look exhausted." She patted Elliot on the shoulder, "Congrats, old man."

He grinned, "Look who's talking."

"Hey, I'm five years younger than you are."

"Right... when do you plan on having children?" he asked.

She sent him a mock-dirty look, "When I get married."

Olivia nodded, "And when does Huang plan on popping the question?"

Alex's mouth dropped for a second before she closed it again. "You'd have to ask him that," she informed her with a wink. "Take care of my god-son now, alright?"

Dr. Travis walked back into the room, "You don't have to worry about that Miss Cabot. But, Mrs. Stabler does need her sleep so I'm going to have to take the little one for a couple of hours."

"So soon?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, I know." Doctor Travis replied, "You'll fall right asleep and before you know it he'll be back in your arms.... Did you come up with a name?"

Elliot nodded, "Matthew William."

"That's a wonderful name," Dr. Travis said with a smile. "I'll have the nurses print it out and put it on his bracelet." She took the baby from Olivia's arms, "Now you both need to get some sleep... I'll have a separate bed brought in here for you, Mr. Stabler."

"Can't he sleep with me?" Olivia asked.

"It might be uncomfortable, Olivia." Elliot told her.

"I'll be dead to the world, I don't think I'll feel comfort or discomfort."

"That's fine with me," the doctor informed them. "I'll bring him back as soon as you're awake."

Olivia nodded and then the doctor left the room, bringing Matthew with her. After Munch, Fin, and Cragen said their congratulations and goodbyes the only two left in the room were Elliot and her.

"Are you sure it's ok for me to stay with you?" Elliot asked her, "If you're going to be uncomf–"

"I'll be fine," she told him with a sigh. "I'm tired though, so you'd better get in bed before I fall asleep."

He smiled and walked around to the other side of the bed, took off his shoes and climbed in with her, allowing her to cuddle up to him as much as she could.

"So," he whispered in her ear. "How does it feel to be a mother?"

"Exhausting," she quipped sleepily. ''Goodnight, Elliot."

"Night, babe."

To say she was exhausted would have been a gross understatement because before he knew it her breaths were short and even, a sigh that she was fast asleep. After a few minutes, when he was finally satisfied that she was out and wouldn't be waking up anytime soon, he allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

**XXXX**

Even though she had been exhausted sleep did not come easily to Olivia. It hadn't even been half an hour since she had fallen asleep when she woke up. Elliot's arm was draped around her still bulging stomach. She was still so tired and before she knew it she was beginning to drift back to sleep. As she started to fall deeper into sleep different thoughts popped into her mind. One in particular she still couldn't fully wrap her mind around.

She was a mother... just down the hallway in the infants ward was her newborn son, probably sleeping at that very moment. With a sigh she scooted closer to her husband, smiling when his arm tightened around her on instinct. A few minutes later she was teetering on the edge of being slightly awake and dead to the world asleep. Still, one thought continued to ring in her mind.

She was a mother.

It felt wonderful.

**XXXX**

**A/N: I realize, of course, that this ending is a bit cliche. But... oh well. Anyway, that's it... let me know what you think. (As long as it's not too mean!)**


End file.
